Written by Andy Rooney, a man who had the gift of saying so much with so few words. Rooney has passed away but used to be on CBS’s 60 Minutes TV show :
I’ve learned….That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I’ve learned….That when you’re in love, it shows.
I’ve learned ….That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
I’ve learned….That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I’ve learned….That being kind is more important than being right.
I’ve learned….That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I’ve learned….That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in any other way.
I’ve learned….That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I’ve learned….That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I’ve learned….That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I’ve learned..That life is like a roll of toilet paper.The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I’ve learned….That money doesn’t buy class.
I’ve learned….That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I’ve learned…That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I’ve learned….That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I’ve learned….That when you plan to get even with someone,you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I’ve learned….That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I’ve learned…That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I’ve learned….That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I’ve learned….That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I’ve learned….That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
I’ve learned….That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I’ve learned….That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I’ve learned….That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away. I’ve learned….That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I’ve learned….That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I’ve learned….That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, you’re hooked for life.
I’ve learned….That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
I’ve learned….That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
To all of you…Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence. It’s National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND. HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK TO YOU
BILLY”S COMMENTS : From Googling, I learned that International Friendship Day is in July; U.S. National Friendship Week is in August; and Friendship Month for Women worldwide is in September. Okay, but for me Friendship Day is Everyday – especially Today !
BTW, my sister, Merle, and my brother, John, are amazingly supportive of my Friendshipology Website Project. Merle in fact sent me the wise quotes from Andy Rooney above. John coincidentally referred me to a N.Y.Times article, “Store Owner’s Kindness Is Paid Back When He Needed It The Most” (Friday, December 25, 2020 – P.A9 ). The story is about a kind and friendly Chineses Immigrant who owns the Army & Navy Bags store at Lower Manhattan, New York City. One of his helpful friends exclaimed in joy : I was so happy we would get to have him in our lives still.” _____________________________________________________________
l wish to share with your friendshipology the “friendship between WATER and STONE the essence of a FOUNTAIN.
I have depicted this Friendship as per my photographic art-language expressing the synthesis of elements in a new scenario. I call my scenarios COMPLICITAS…since expressing the complicity among elements.
I have narrated the friendship between water and stone, in a 30 images visionary portrait of the fascinating Roman ” urban mermaids ” where the element of LIFE – WATER – interplays with the manmade elements of the traditional, even archeological city elements…Fountains created by famous XVI-XVII century architects such as Gian Lorenzo BERNINI and Michelangelo Buonarroti.
Last but not least …WATER, in a more and more arid world – is becoming an ever more precious”commodity”….the blue gold !!!
My tale AQUAE DIVINAE discloses the fresh chanting friendship tied in a fountain: Water ‘n Stone-marble
enjoy! Amlia
PS: Attached six AQUAE DIVINAE
Fontane RomeFontana-‘n-the-roseRome FountainRome – WaterTemple -‘n – WaterGrabbing the Blue Gold
BILLY’S COMMENTS: Amalia and I have known each other for more than 10 years, but we have not yet met. She was introduced to me by Evertt Chen from Ningbo where Amalia had her special art exhibit. She is an inspiring person thru her art and her love in Global Friendship. Thank you, Dear Amalia, for your compassionate sharing.
Amalia – Lijain, ChinaAmalia with FriendAmalia – in Taoist Temple
Billy and I at Ming-cho Lee’s 80th Birthday Celebration, N.Y.C. 2010
It’s been a long time since I met my cousin Billy Lee for the first time at Albert Chong’s Memorial in Great Neck, N.Y.. He called me “Little Auntie” for my cousin Yan Ren-mei was married to his uncle Li Zu-ming. We also showed up in the same photo at the 80th Birthday Celebration of my cousin Ming-cho Lee, who was the single most influential force in American stage design since the mid-1960’s, in 2010.
Ming-cho Lee (4th from left) receiving the National Medal of Arts, 2002 (Billy at extreme right). and cover of Ming-cho’s Book published in 2016
What surprised me most was that Billy had a clear memory of my older brother A Da1 in his childhood. For personal enjoyment, I have kept making and publishing my biography “My Story” on WeChat “Moments”, totally 420 episodes so far, for about two years. Billy got very interested in these stories and what he wanted to read first was about my older brother A Da. So I sent the 36 episodes with A Da’s photos and resume to Billy, as well as other episodes of “My Story” that Billy would like to read. He once wrote in his email to me:
“For a very brief time your brother and I were very fond of each other.
It was around 1945-46. Our fathers first introduced us, and we lived not far from each other along Shanghai’s Fugerson Road. I remember playing at Jin Da’s2 home once or twice. We lost touch since he moved, and we unfortunately did not keep in touch.
Much later I heard from Jeanette Wei3 (another cousin of yours?) that he passed away rather tragically in China.
Wow, you kept good records on his grand achievements. I wish I had gotten to know him better. Admirable Brother of yours! Admirable!
I loved his Friendly Smiles.”
…………………………………….
After reading my biography, he replied my email as follows:
“You mentioned a grandson of Zhou Tso Ming. The banker’s house was immediately next to ours in Shanghai. I used to play with the No. One grandson Albert and his younger brother, whose name I have forgotten. Could the younger brother be that guest at your mother’s birthday celebration? He should be between 82 and 85 years old now.
I was known to them as Lee Min-xin4 at 123 Furgerson5 Road. I also noticed a picture of David Kwok who now resides at Walnut Creek. He is my F.F.6 contemporary.
In No. 116, you visited Pan Chang Lo Lo’s home in 2014. She was just sitting next to me at a dinner last week. Her daughter Sandra brought her there. She told me about her youthful days in Shanghai playing softball at a softball field close to my home.
In No.117, I noticed a DISTINGUISHED photo of Shirley Young on the wall of her Shanghai home. She certainly is a Distinguished Person in our Generation. Say ‘Hello’.
I also noticed singer Hou Jia Tien’s photo in that chapter.
In No. 118, I noticed Diane Tang Woo’s photo taken as recently as 2018. She is a special friend, as the rumour had it, my mother almost married her father.
……………………………….
Received Story No.31 to 50, missing No. 46 and No. 48 however.
Noticed that we are also connected via Ningbo7 and Andover.
I was at Andover for 4 years from -1947-51-graduated the same year as your cousin, Shirley, who was attending Abbot.
Amazing, I noticed my mother’s younger sister, Woo Weize, in your Story No.20 – pictures at the very bottom. I think your mother’s sisters and my mother’s sisters were well-know young ladies from Dee Fong Lu8.
MK Loo became Fay’s husband. Jonathan Lu worked at IBM with my wife, Lucille. LC Chen was an associate at I.M. Pei’s office and later became a partner of mine at Copelin, Lee & Chen Architects. All three ( MK, Jonathan, and LC ) are in Heaven now!”
Although long retired from architecture career, Billy still has a keen interest in Design, even in Men & Women Fashion. He said, “I designed mostly residential projects. Below is one of my favorite – in Napa Valley, California. (Two links below – the first one has verbal descriptions – the second one has better photos.)
And he sent me greetings for each festival through emails,
“Happy Chinese New Year!”
“Happy New Year, Jeanette!”
“Merry Christmas, Jeanette!”
“Happy Thanksgiving!”
Billy also enjoys sharing his personal moments with me, like,
“…had dinner with Jeannette Wei last week.
She and Jim Caldwell will be moving to Austin Texas soon.”
We also talked about F.F. Fraternity together, “…So you are Sister Jeanette now, since Uncle T.T. Zee, your father, was an F.F. Brother.”
I also found a brief introduction and many photos of Billy and his wife in a book: History of F.F. Fraternity: the Evolution of the first Chinese Fraternity in the United States (1910-2002), which informs me more about his lively life in the US.
He also told me,
“The last one, John MY Lee, is my younger brother, the architect who designed the first mega-structure in ShenZhen-the city plaza and civic center.
Please say ‘hello’ to Niuniu – Lee May, and husband Zhang Goon for me, when you see them!”
When he learned the relationship between Shirley Young and me ( our mothers are sisters ), he happily told me that he, Lee Tsu Yung’s no.2 son was Andover ’51 while Shirley was Abbot ’51. ” Please extend my best regards to Shirley. She remembers me only as that skinny Andover Chinese Boy who went to Yale.” he requested.
Billy is an energetic man indeed, and I really enjoy the moments of exchanging news back and forth with him; especially in recent years, we could share moments anytime and anywhere by using WeChat. Those memories in old days tie up Shanghai and the other coast of the Pacific Ocean closely and give a happy and abundant life to both of us. I only have a little wish that all my relatives, friends and our children could keep in touch with each other, like Billy and me, to explore more about Ourselves, China, and the World.
Notes:
A Da: 阿達，the best-known name of my older brother Jing-da Zee, a very famous animator in China
Jin Da: the pronunciation of my older brother徐景達Jing-da Zee’s given name, should be “Jing Da” according to the latest Chinese phonetic system
Jeanette Wei: the god daughter’s sister of my parents
Lee Min-xin: the pronunciation of Billy Lee’s Chinese name李名信, should be “Li Ming-Xin” according to the latest Chinese phonetic system
Furgerson Road: normally spelled as “Route Furguson” 福開森路, the former name of “Wukang Road” 武康路 in the French Concession of Shanghai
FF: F.F. Fraternity, the first Chinese Fraternity in the United States
Ningbo: 寧波，a coastal city in China where our family origins from
Dee Fong Lu: the pronunciation of “Tifeng Road” 地豐路 in old Shanghai, which is now named “North Wulumuqi Road” 烏魯木齊北路
BILLY’S COMMENTS: Jeannette’s MY STORY with more than 420 episodes is an amazing collection of photos and stories about her amazing Friendship Span. I implored her to write an article on ” How you sustain your links with so many Friends ? ” She just showed us how. SIMPLY: KEEP IN TOUCH, ENJOY, APPRECIATE, AND REMEMBER YOUR AMAZING CONNECTIONS !
For your collection of commentaries on friendship/friendshipology, I offer these thoughts:
the wise men of old (be they Greek, Roman, Christian, Hebraic, Buddhist) all pretty much said the same thing; we don’t need to invent or discover new wisdom, we need only heed that which has already been discovered
love abides only if it is grounded in friendship
being friendly to others, even strangers, leads to empathy
attached are chapters from my chronicle which illustrate what I mean by these commentaries
BILLY’S COMMENTS: Fred is a dear Andover classmate. The chronicles he sent me recorded various trips he took around the country as a devoted Birder. I never imagined that a fast skating and never yielding varsity hockey player at Andover can also be so patient, caring, and compassionate. His chronicals focused on the people he met as well as the birds he was hoping to spot. In Savana, Georgia, he met a Black Senior who gave him $20 just because they had a friendly conversation.
Hi Nee Goo Goo , ( No.2 Elder Brother in Shanghainese )
My education is built on sand . Scanty home schooling from mother and sit-by auditing with old Chinese masters ( engaged to teach the boys ) Nobody paid me no mind !!!! I was but a little girl .
Attended 1 year at Shanghai American School then 3 1/2 years in Hongkong where I was supposed to have covered 12 years of education . In college I slipped and slide . Working more hours then studying . There was no formal structure , Years in America didn’t help , I write as I think … no grammar at all Besides I am not gifted with Tommy’s intellect and talents you and John share . I wrote this below for you to read. Please do not share or print .
Friendship is share, trust, comfort , an assisting hand, and seeking guidance all roll into one handshake, one hug, one smile or a tear . Friendship is cultivated, or extended to strangers is none the less irrelevant if not given with sincerity. Friendship is never to hurt.
Friendship is found in marriage Friendship is found within family Friendship is found within communities Friendship is found across the oceans
Reaching out a hand or bow in search of a will to negotiate , to understand , to help or give help is reaching out for friendship . If one understands one’s enemies there will be no enemies . Problems shared, problems can be solved . So who but everyone of us needs friendship .
Friendship is to share a laugh over joy, to soothe a mistake or at nothing at all. Friendship is to give , expecting no favors returned Friendship is trying to understand but not understanding yet respecting the differences held . Friendship is free to give but at times difficult to accept or let go the pride that gets in the way .
Friendship is never to hurt but lay out the reality as one sees it, gently across the tab .
Friendship is without touching yet hearts held strong
Let Friendship grow . Let Friendship spread.
Open your arms, reach far your hands and search for Friendship with open minds
BILLY’s COMMENTS : Merle is just a year younger than I. She first asked me
not to share or print what she wrote for me privately. I found her writing so
compassionate and full of wisdom. As a Little girl nobody minded, she actually learned much more by only sit-by auditing from the Old Chinese Masters than her supposedly smart brothers.
I wrote back to her and begged for special permission to have her writing included in this Friendshipology Collection. I am so glad that she consented.
Thank you, Dear Sister, Dearest MLK , ( Merle Lee Kwong ) ! Thank you !
In the late 1970’s China was at a critical crossroads whether to open door after 30 years of self-containment. The nation was suspicious of western motives and intervention, and its people would look at westerners with strange curious eyes. Yet every Chinese would happily welcome foreigners (Laowai) once they landed in China, apparently coming from a tradition that “有朋自遠方來,不亦樂乎”“it’s a pleasure to receive friends from afar”. This Chinese friendship tradition turned out to have underpinned the turnaround of US-China relations since late 1970’s.
Imagine US and China back in the late 1970’s. The two countries and their peoples were so diametrically opposed — in political ideology, government system; in traditions, values, philosophy; in spiritual and religious beliefs; in social and economic structures; in business system and practices, and in people’s living conditions, styles and standards. But when the two peoples started to engage in exchanges of friendship, good feelings develop, and the gulfs were almost miraculously bridged with both sides making compromises and accommodations, even both nations remained struggling in many arenas and trying to seek stable long-term relations.
I personally witnessed and took part in this FRIENDSHIP POWER at work. I had actually served as a catalyst through dedicating my career to my US-China business. How did it happen? Here’s the backdrop: Back in 1978 all I had was the will since childhood to prepare myself so one day I might help in China’s economic revival and reform (much like what Yugoslavia’s Tito had earlier attempted). At college I studied Economics and served as president of the student union. I then came to New York to pursue graduate studies in public administration. I decided to stay in the U.S. for an MBA at Columbia University with the thought of gaining management experience and at some future time owning my business that could help China. So when news came out that China planned to open its door in 1978, I immediately set up a U.S. company and, through a connection I had fostered with the Chairman of China Resources in Hong Kong with my father’s help, got an official invitation to visit Beijing with a few trade and factory-building proposals in hand for immediate action by the Ministry of Foreign Trade. By the end the trip I was offered to work with China International Travel Services (CITS) under the Tourism Department, and allotted a group visa to bring 34 Americans to do a sightseeing itinerary of 4-5 cities opened to foreigners at the time. Group sightseeing was the only travel form allowed then in China.
If ping-pong players in the early 1970’s was pivotal in reviving the diplomatic relations of the two nations, then American travel starting 1979 was responsible for generating such great people feelings and friendships between the two peoples that formed a foundation for the two countries to build strong relations in the 30 years that followed.
By the end of 1979 I succeeded in obtaining 3 group visas to bring 100 Americans to see China. That year only 1000 visas in sightseeing groups for the whole USA were approved by China. Visiting Americans were so warmly received as friends from afar rather than as tourists, that returning Americans only had great feeling of Chinese people’s warm and personable reception, despite their backwardness, limited food and beverage and extremely poor facilities. But friendship was the main Chinese theme at the time, not profit. Even stores selling handicrafts and clothing and groceries exclusively to foreigners were named “Friendship Stores”.
So I became a pioneer in China travel, but a travel business with 100 customers a year was nothing to live on, but I saw it as a path forward to achieve my life goal to serve my mother country and at the same time connecting with America my father land. I quitted my VP job at Citibank in 1980, against advice of my father and even our friendly Chinese officials in Hong Kong, since China’s open door was not a sure policy yet and its future faced perceivably insurmountable challenges.
Fortunately, China’s economic reform continued to evolve with greater opening for foreign participation. Bro. I.M. Pei ( FF Fraternity Brother ) was invited to build the first modern hotel completed in 1981 located in Fragrant Hill, wholly owned and managed by Beijing municipality. In 1983 Bro. C.B. Sung completed the first 5-star Great Wall Hotel, the first joint venture given foreign ownership (albeit 49%). As to myself I grew in a few years to be a top American wholesale operator of China travel bringing thousands of Americans every year to see China.
Upon reflection now, the power of genuine friendship and service was a critical factor behind my personal success. The just-opening China had almost no tourism resources. Rigid Chinese officials, policies and practices were extremely difficult to say the least. But I worked with them as friends with respect, understanding and patience, unlike others who looked down upon Communist Chinese with suspicion and contempt at the time. My genuine friendship building with people at all levels from bureau heads, general managers to tour guides, and my personal motivation to serve and do good for the country rather than to make more profit, apparently touched the tough Chinese officials. I was approved more tour visas and allocated more hard-to-get hotel rooms and air and train tickets, despite the fact that I was a banker turned travel operator. By mid-1980’s my company arranged over 10,000 American tourists each year to China with liaison in Beijing, Shanghai and Hong Kong and tour sales offices in eight major US cities grossing over $40 million.
To give back and to help Chinese officials to gain knowledge of western thinking and practices, and to promote friendship between Chinese and American professionals in travel and hospitality, I invited, at my expense, groups of Chinese officials (about 100) every year in the 1980’s to fly over to visit major American cities, and organized seminars and visitations for their exposure and training from tourism development, hotel and airlines management to tour guiding skills. Invitees requiring both central Beijing approval and U.S. consulate visa check included provincial governors, tourism bureau heads, travel service/hotel/airline managers, staff and tour guides. It was their first time venturing outside China, an eye-opening trip of a lifetime to see America’s modern infrastructure and management and, no less importantly, how people worked and went about their daily life. Friendship and good feelings with the American people blossomed from the trip’s intensive people exchanges. In those days American people would look at visiting Chinese unassumingly dressed with strange eyes, but almost always extended warm welcome despite language obstacle. Attached is a picture of “one of the earliest groups of Chinese tourism and airline officials visiting the U.S. in mid-1980’s at an U.S. airline ticketing office”.
“In Beijing: Biannual U.S.-China Tourism Conference in mid-1980’s with U.S. delegates on the left led by Undersecretary of Commerce Donna Tuttle at center next to Mr. Han, Director of China National Tourism Administration. –Patrick standing fourth at left.“One of the earliest groups of Chinese tourism and airline officials visited the U.S. in mid-1980’s at an U.S. airline ticketing office in.” Patrick standing 4th at left.
A key area in early 1980’s for the U.S. and Chinese governments to maintain official cooperation for development was a Bi-annual Tourism Conference held alternately in each country. A great deal of friendship was built between top U.S and Chinese government officials. Some of the issues involved were higher quota for Americans to enter China and airlines landing rights. As a member of the U.S. delegation, I served effectively given my friendship with Chinese officials. Attached is a picture “In Beijing, Biannual U.S.-China Tourism Conference in mid-1980’s with U.S. delegates on the left led by Undersecretary of Commerce Donna Tuttle at center next to Mr. Han, Director of China National Tourism Administration, on the left with Chinese delegates”.
By the mid-1980’s I started to develop with CITS other forms of travel for Americans including international conferences, professional exchanges, student and individual travel heretofore not allowed for foreigners. These programs further expanded the spheres and depth of friendship building between the two peoples.
Efforts to form U.S.-China sister cities were welcome as people friendship started to take hold in the 1980’s before the Tiananmen Square massacre struck relations between the two governments to a standstill, but not between the peoples. Before the turn of 1990’s more sister relations were officiated involving not just major cities, but also Chinese and American towns and counties. My wife at the time working under New York’s Westchester County Executive Andrew O’Rourke linked the county with Jinzhou city.
By the turn of the century as China and its citizens accumulated wealth, more and more Chinese started to come to the U.S. for higher education, and more American students attended premier Chinese universities. This young people friendship was further expanded with the introduction in 2004 of Confucius Institutes which grew to over 100 at its height in 2017 mostly on campus across America. Friendship power reached new height when exchange programs were organized between high schools in major American and Chinese cities. My son Bro. Garrick had been running such student programs in conjunction with Columbia Teachers College for years until current Trump’s policy and Covid-19 pandemic.
Recent historical development of U.S.-China relations is a great example of the POWER of FRIENDSHIP AND GOOD FEELINGS between two NATIONS OF PEOPLE. This friendship state has benefited both peoples immensely in terms of world peace and economic development. China has been able to lift more than 850 million people out of extreme poverty with poverty rate down from 88% in 1981 to 7% in 2015. Americans have been able to enjoy low-cost quality goods manufactured in China with little inflation.
But all these for over 30 years are being threatened as China became the second largest economy by mid-2010’s with expansionist ambitions in trade (one belt one road), technology (lead in 5G, etc.) and military reach (South China Sea control). Friendship and good feelings are under destruction by wars on trade and technology in the name of national security. All forms of exchanges that feed friendship are being reduced. In its place bad feelings are being sewn every day. It brings out one key principle of friendshipology: “relations between nations is based on interest, interest and interest”, said to me by a Chinese ambassador friend. Friendship is a means to an end, sad to say. But one traditional core value of the Chinese people remains : Rites and Friendship “禮義” – whenever and wherever it should be practiced.
Patrick Yau was born in Canton, China and grew up in Hong Kong where he attended New Asia College of the Chinese University of Hong Kong in Economics. He has been a New Yorker since arriving in 1970 for a Master of Public Administration at SUNY at Albany and an MBA at Columbia University. He has retired since 2016.
Patrick began his career at First National City Bank (now Citibank) in 1973 rising to Vice President for Regional Marketing. While at Citibank he was recruited in 1974 by Bro. Clifton Chang to join FF Fraternity, a Chinese fraternity founded in 1910. Patrick has been active every year for almost 50 years, having served in virtually all Lodge and Chapter officer positions up to Chapter Vice Chair.
In 1978 he founded two companies to pioneer US-China business as a way to engage in China’s economic development as it emerged poor and backward from over 30 years of self-containment. By mid-1980’s his China tour operation grew to be the largest in the U.S. arranging over 10,000 Americans to visit China for sightseeing, business, conferences and professional exchanges. He also sponsored Chinese officials in government, tourism, hotel and airlines management to visit the U.S. to gain first-hand knowledge and exposure to western ways of business and daily life. By late 1980’s his China operations grossed over $40 million with liaison staff in Hong Kong, Beijing and Shanghai and sales offices in eight major U.S. cities.
Patrick also started his other company to organize international industrial exhibitions for China, since China had little foreign exchange nor knowhow to go overseas. In 1986 the first Beijing International Book Fair was held participated by virtually all major publishers from the U.S, Europe and Asia, and attended by then Ambassador Winston Lord. A host of other international exhibitions were held every year covering many industries that China needed for its advancement from agricultural to machinery to television and radio equipment. His company was also appointed official contractor under the United Nations Development Program (UNDP), and facilitated China in importing turnkey production machinery and other technical assistance.
In 1999 Patrick co-founded First American International Bank, an ethnic minority community bank with the mission of serving the Chinese American community in New York City to provide home mortgages, personal credit cards and small commercial mortgages. These credit services were not offered at the time by any American bank branches in Chinatown that only took deposits from the community. In recognition of the Bank’s contribution to community economic development, the Bank was certified by the US Treasury Department as an official Community Development Financial Institution (CDFI), the first and only one for Chinese Americans in the country. The Bank became a highly respected champion in New York’s Chinese American community. Patrick was also responsible for successfully built from the ground up the Bank’s highly profitable fee-based business in China wire transfer, home mortgage origination/servicing, and wealth management.
During his career at the Bank Patrick was a dedicated community banker. He played a pivotal role in the formation of Chinatown Business Improvement District (BID) in 2012 working with other community leaders and public officials. After his retirement he continues to serve on both governing boards of BID and Chinatown Partnership Local Development Corp. (CPLDC). Both have been recognized to officially represent all segments of Chinatown. Patrick served as the Bank’s Executive Vice President for 18 years.
Billy’s Comments : Patrick should be highly commended for his dedication to Friendship Building between China and U.S. – with his admirable Non Sibi Spirit. If Nations can abandon SELF INTEREST ONLY and focus on COMMON INTERESTS and WIN WIN STRATEGIES, True Friendship can still be attained.
I recommend that you suggest a few possible topics
Here are some ideas for starters:
What did your mother or father teach you about friendships?
Who is your best friend, and why?
When did you stand up for a friend?
Think of a friend of yours. When did you realize he/she was a friend?
What is important to you in a friendship?
Shilstone sent Billy another note on Nov. 11th:
Here’s a Veterans Day Thought for Billy’s World
Some of my best and longest-lasting friendships were formed during my 3.5 years in the U.S. Navy. Training in the U.S. and deployment in the Western Pacific brought me into contact with people of all shapes, sizes, colors and behaviors. A young person could not have a better education – and get paid for it.
I’m not advocating reinstatement of the military draft, but I agree with those who think some kind of mandatory public service (say 18 months abroad, in the inner city or on Native American reservations), would pay dividends in promoting human understanding.
Call it a Friendship Draft, and let Billy Lee be the first to go!
Shona and Billy met at ICAF’s World Children’s Festival, Washington D.C. – July 4th weekend 2015
A FRIEND
How brave friends are to sift through all our conversations and keep only the good. When life ends only the good rises up. Time and time again only the good lasts. The effort we made to support others, the times we visited when there were problems, the way we held the ground for others. Good survives and reigns.
Friendship is Art, Art is friendship. I have just written a eulogy for Ngawai Te Hinga Mc Intyre who was 88 years old. A beautiful Maori woman who lived as a monk. What was it about our friendship?
After a day of note taking and sorting pictures of many events, I put the video together and tomorrow it will be used in the service for her.
She was tiny and had a huge spirit. She was multicultural and held a world view on everything.
She had a black belt as her defence and she went to court to prisons, to councils, supporting her whanau`s legal problems. She meant no harm to anyone. She had trained as a minister of the church, one woman amongst 35 men. She then married a wealthy man and travelled the world. When that marriage ended, she became kuia to the New Zealand Children`s Art House around the country.
She got lost in the world of children and danced and sang with them. Now everyone remembers her smile, her joy, her laughter.At 60 she looked 40. At 80 she looked 60. She was forever young.
I am left thinking of her self- dignity, her discipline and her friendship to me. She made me feel I was her bestie, and I know that everyone felt like that. Her best friend. Dismissing complaints, shame pain, blame and the culture of complaint, Nagwai turned tables on so many people with her warmth and smile. Ngawai served humanity without complaint.
I send you her recent picture and her story as a friendship token for your FRIENDSHIP & FRIENDSHIPOLOGY work.
I am a New Zealander. I was born at the end of the war, in Te Kuiti, in the King Country and my earliest days were spent in Pureora forest. I grew up on a farm in Kio Kio near a marae. It was on the border of the King Country and the Waikato. I attended school in the predominantly Maori village of Kihikihi. In my earliest years in Hairini, I was educated in Maori history and I understand the bond with the environment that runs deep in Maori.
That same bond is very deep within me. I am passionate about my native land. I love the stories about the legendary inhabitants of the bush wrapped in cloaks of flax and fern and having sometimes extraordinary powers to meddle for good or for evil in the affairs of humankind. I was lucky enough to be a first scholar at Waikato University and Teachers Training College and developed strong associations with Marae and Schools across New Zealand. I have travelled and taught around the world but New Zealand is my home.
I went to USA for the first time in 1963-1964 on an American Field Service Scholarship. This cemented the significance of the Maori people in my life because I saw many different cultural groups and studied the different races living in New York.
In New Zealand I qualified with distinction as a teacher in 1967 and later in 1989 as an artist majoring in Figurative studies and portraiture. I held the appointed Government position for the Northern Regional Arts Council of the Queen Elizabeth Arts Council and as an artist, I was invited to go to Waitangi to make many sketches of the diverse Maori groups there for the 1990 ceremonies held for the commemoration of the 150 years since the Treaty of Waitangi signing. This was a government commission.
Pirimi’s World, a series of five readers by Shona Hammond Boys QSM, results from her studies of gifted and talented children in The New Zealand Children`s Art Houses of which she is National Director and Founder. Shona was awarded the Inaugural World Children Award 2015, by International Child Art Foundation for her services to children`s art worldwide. Shona`s CV is available on her website and these books are also on line at www.shonahammondboys.com The books are filmed and set to music by He Tangata Digital Media Systems Limited www.htdm.maori.nz with Laban Freeman as voice over.
PIRIMI`S HOMEWORK: Pirimi`s kapahaka whanua is a collection of portraits of his family. He draws this for homework instead of writing and essay. It shows relationships and an extended family life.
PIRIMI`S PEOPLE: A collection of portraits about Pirimi`s neighbours who come from all walks of life and the globe.It includes a map of the neighbourhood and where they all live.
PIRIMI`S NATURE STUDIES: The natural life around him is a subject of great interest to Pirimi. He shares his knowledge of the local animals and creatures in his immediate environment.
PIRIMI`S EXHIBITION: Pirimi`s solo exhibition is to raise money for a Children`s Art House. He puts up 80 portraits of friends and family .He uses his talents to advocate for others.
PIRIMI`S GARDEN AND THE BEES: This reveals Pirimi`s true concern for the environment, the global future and shows how our attitude to the environment matters. Pirimi has a bee hive and advises everyone to stop using sprays and chemicals and to look after the bees.
Billy’s Comments: I met Shona at the 2015 World Children’s Festival sponsored by International Child Art Foundation in Washington D.C. . She was the first person who approached me and inquired if I belonged to a Friendshipology Organization. I answered “No, but how about we explore together to create one ?” We thus became “Bosom Friends”. Indeed, I feel most inspired by Shona’s dedication to Art and the KINDNESS she has practised, taught, and promoted around the world.
We first met seventy years ago, at the home of my Uncle Jack at Bronxville, New York. It is incredible that we stayed in touch all these years through happy youth, prosperous adulthood, and quiet senior citizenship. Confucius used to say that “It is rare to reach the age of seventy”. But we managed to survive to ninety. May the next ninety year be even more prosperous.
Vita: James Wei received his Bachelors degree in Chemical Engineering from Georgia Institute of Technology in 1952, M.S. and Sc.D. in Chemical Engineering from MIT in 1954 and 1955 (with a minor in Fine Arts from Harvard). He also has a degree in Advanced Management from Harvard Graduate School of Business Administration in 1969. He began his career as a Research Chemical Engineer for Mobil Oil Research in 1955, and advanced to Manager of Long-Range Analysis by 1969. He was Visiting Associate Professor of Chemical Engineering at Princeton University in 1962-1963, Visiting Associate Professor of Chemical Engineering at California Institute of Technology in 1965, and Sherman M. Fairchild Distinguished Scholar in 1977. From 1971-1977, he was the Allan P. Colburn Professor of Chemical Engineering at the University of Delaware. He joined MIT in 1977 where he served as Department Head of Chemical Engineering until 1988, and was the Warren K. Lewis Professor from 1977-1991. Between 1991 and 2002, he was Dean of Engineering and Applied Science at Princeton University. Since 1991, he was also Pomeroy and Betty Perry Smith Professor of Chemical Engineering at Princeton University.
Dr. Wei has published more than 130 research papers on chemical kinetics, catalysis, reaction engineering, and cancer chemotherapy. He has co-authored seven books, including “The Structure of Chemical Processing Industries” with McGraw-Hill in 1978, and “Product Engineering: Molecular Structure and Properties”, Oxford University Press in 2007. Professor Wei has been editor of several book series and journals including: Chemical Technology, member of the Executive Board, 1971-1979; Consulting Editor for McGraw-Hill Book Series of Chemical Engineering from 1964-1992; and Editor-in-Chief of Advances in Chemical Engineering, since 1982, responsible for Volumes 12-24. He served as the president of the American Institute of Chemical Engineers in 1988. He is currently a trustee of Smith College and the American University of Beirut.
Among Dr. Wei’s awards are: Award in Petroleum Chemistry from the American Chemical Society, 1966; Professional Progress Award from American Institute of Chemical Engineers, 1970; Member of the National Academy of Engineering, 1978; William H. Walker Award of the American Institute of Chemical Engineers, 1980; Member of American Academy of Arts and Sciences, 1982; Member of Academia Sinica, 1982. He was designated one of thirty “Eminent Chemical Engineers,” at the AIChE Diamond Jubilee Meeting, 1983; and Founders Award of the American Institute of Chemical Engineers for contributions to the profession, 1990. He was chosen as one of “One Hundred Chemical Engineers of the Modern Era”, at the Centennial Celebration of the AIChE in 2008
BILLY’S COMMENTS: Jim and I met when we were young college students enthusiastic to befriend others who share similar high aspirations. Uncle Jack’s home was friendly and relaxed. The elders truly encouraged us to strive and to connect. During the past 70+ years, we did not meet that often, but we kept up with each other’s good progress and shared miscellaneoous news of mutual interest. We indeed focused mainly on sustaining “Good Feelings” . We have a GOOD and BEAUTIFUL Friendship, indeed ! Thank you, Jim !
