FRIENDSHIP AT U.S.-China People’s Friendship Association      

By Billy Lee – Member of USCPFA-South Bay – October 2022 

Started with Joining & Connecting with Hope.

Hope for simply forming Mutual Good Feelings.

Affection grew with Goodwill and Good Efforts.

Trust developed from mini collaborations.

Working together proved much more Meaningful.

Bonding became evermore Enduring.

Real Friendship has its Magic.

Hope, Trust, and Dedication for the Long Term .

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Lived by Love. –  from  Rick Hanson, PhD    

news@rickson.netcopied by Billy October, 2020


Explicitly, this practice means coming from love in a broad sense – from compassion, good intentions, self-control, warmth, finding what to like, caring, connecting, and kindness.

Implicitly and more fundamentally, this practice means a relaxed opening into the love – in a very very broad sense – that is the actual nature of everything.

Be a Friend – Live by Love – Billy Learned

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SINCERE APOLOGIES to GAGE AND LEXI           from Yeh Yeh

By Billy Lee  October 4, 2022

Dear Gage and Lexi,

I owe you a BIG APOLOGY. I sincerely apologize for THE WAY I YELLED at you

last week when you placed your feet on the dining table. I did not need to get ANGRY.

I should not have yelled like a BULLY.  I was inconsiderate, unthoughtful, unwise, and

need to correct such improper quick eruptions. I better try to learn more from Nai Nai on

how to be a more LOVING Grand Parent.

I do care about you kids deeply and look forward to your coming to dinner again soon.

Love, Yeh Yeh

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Billy’s Reflection:

After I emailed this letter above, I felt really good – really happy that I was able to

Apologize Graciously.  I think I learned to do this from my Andover-Yale Classmate,

George Rider, who recently wrote a gracious letter to apologize to another old

Classmate after 70 years.  Apologies definitely release much stress, guilt, and

shame. Hopefully, it will patch up good feelings afterward.

I also wondered how we can best control our uncalled-for ERUPTIONS and UPSETS.

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TREES ARE OUR FRIENDS LIKE NO OTHER SPECIES                                                   

Two paragraphs Billy copied from Henry Shukman’s article,Tree of Wisdom”. 2022 Shukman, author of The Lost City, teaches at Mountain Cloud Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico

Trees are our natural environment. They are our friends like no other species.

Warmth in winter, shade in summer, said the poet Alexander Pope, of trees’ gifts

to humanity. Where people are, trees are. Many cities are filled with trees. Some

even look like woodland from the air. For thousands of generations, trees have

provided people with windbreaks, shade, shelter, fire, and one of the primary

fabrics of our dwellings.

Trees are our closest neighbors. There are dogs, cats, cows, and other

domestic animals with whom some of us live, and there are our cousins like

the chimpanzee with whom we don’t usually live. On the other hand, pretty

much all people live with trees.

Just a photo of Trees – no word –                                                                                                                         ‘HELLO’ from Old Friend, Betty Wei Liu – Oct. 2022

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A PERFECT BOYFRIEND ?

After reading  “A Perfect Girlfriend “ by Flavian Mwasi, Billy wondered “What makes A Perfect Boyfriend ?

He learned from an article by Bella Smith ( a Human Behavior/ Psychology Enthusiast ) that  A Perfect Boyfriend must understand the following SECRETS.

Women are attracted to a man not totally by his accomplishments but by how he makes them FEEL. AS A PERSON.

Not all the time, we like to be dependent on you. Sometimes we like to support you financially as well as mentally.

We feel special when you remember small details about us.

We love it when you open up to us when you tell us about your fears, your worst problems, and your inner demon. It makes us feel that we are really important to you.

We are possessive by nature. We can get jealous when we see you talking with other girls.

We know how we look, still, we ask you because we love it when you appreciate our beauty.

We find intelligence without arrogance sexy. It’s extremely sexy when a man knows how to maintain his intelligence without riding a high horse in the process.

We want a man who is in control but not controlling. There’s a difference.

We don’t give up easily on a man who we love, but once we’re done, no matter what you do, we never come back.

We love it if you tell your parents and friends about us. It means a lot.

We know how we look, still, we ask you because we love it when you appreciate our beauty.

We love it when you caught us staring at you and ask “what..?”

We want to be with a Nice Guy who is confident and a leader; who holds boundaries, respects himself, and with massive sex appeal.

No woman wants to be with a weak man, but we love dominance at times.

Three magic words every woman wants to hear other than “I love you”:   ” I appreciate you”.

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INPUT FROM DORIS LAM:

A few Internet searches that resonate with me are shared below.

Men want love as badly as women do. They just might not always be as obvious about it. But generally, they want the same thing: friendshipcompanionshipchemistry.

Traits that women tend to value and need most from their romantic partners are integritysensitivity, and intimacy. Women need the men in their lives to be feminist allies who want to see them succeed.

男朋友 

由於自由戀愛的發展,男朋友在人們心中的概念也從單一的男生朋友發展到了做“丈夫”之前的對象的代名詞。現在大部分人對“男朋友”的理解都是“他是和你有戀愛關係的男生”可是把你的男生朋友說成是你的男朋友也不為過,因為現在人都開放了,男女之間也有友誼這種關係了。

交友解讀編輯

1、朋友具有彼此的獨立性。朋友之間最重要的是相互尊重,求同存異,雙方都有人格的獨立性,如果雙方密切到使對方感到受束縛,友情將難以維繫。

2、朋友不具有專一性。你的朋友有權同時選擇別的朋友,並且不一定以你的喜好作為選擇的標準。

The Chinese quotes pointed out that due to the gradual change from a male dominated culture, a female will desire more IDENTITY, and INDEPENDENCE.

I also found the following article a good attempt to explain UNCONDITIONAL RELATIONSHIP.

### 

Doris

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Melissa Luce indicated that the article Billy seeks has already been written by

Rachel Hosie– back in 2018 in the Independent and republished recently

in Yahoo News. https://news.yahoo.com/man-9-qualities-never-let-081808214.html

A Perfect Boyfriend should satisfy the following criteria:


1. He’s smart

While some of us are naturally brainier than others, a new study from the Hanken School of Economics in Finland suggests that the smarter the man, the less likely he is to be unfaithful. According to the research, more intelligent men are more likely to get married and stay married.

So if you’re worried your boyfriend might be too brainy for you, a) don’t be intimidated because intelligence isn’t everything, and b) know that you may have a guy who’s more likely to be faithful on your hands.

2. He makes you laugh

Finding someone you can have a laugh with is crucial – even if everyone else rolls their eyes at his dad jokes, if they crack you up, that’s all that matters.

And a study has shown that men are more likely to have “mating success” if they have a GSOH.

3. He actively supports your career

A study found that husbands were a deciding factor in two-thirds of women’s decisions to quit their jobs, often because they thought it was their duty to bring up their children.

Even when the women in the study described their husbands as supportive, they also revealed that the men refused to change their own work schedules or offer to help more with looking after children.

4. He makes as much effort with your friends and family as you do with his

It’s not uncommon for a woman to end up giving up her own social life to slot into her new man’s. But it’s rare that a man does the same once entering a relationship.

In fact, a recent study found that young men get more satisfaction out of their bromances than their romantic relationships with women. While this is clearly ludicrous, maintaining your friendships is important. So make sure you’re with a man who not only wants you to make time to see your friends but also makes an effort to get to know them too.

5. He’s emotionally intelligent

If stereotypes are to be believed, it is women who are always desperate to talk about feelings and never men who fall hard. Whilst this definitely isn’t true, it’s important each person in a relationship has a certain level of emotional intelligence.

Studies suggest that women are better at taking the opinions and views of their partner into consideration than men, which is essential for a healthy relationship.

6. He respects your opinions and listens to what you have to say

Being closed-minded isn’t a trait that’s exclusive to a particular gender, but if a man is convinced he’s always right and will never consider your argument, it’s not a good sign.

If a man rejects his female partner’s influence, it may be a sign that he has power issues, according to Dr John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

7. He’s willing to put the work in

study from the University of Texas found that the most successful relationships weren’t down to compatibility, but rather making the relationship work. “My research shows that there is no difference in the objective compatibility between those couples who are unhappy and those who are happy,” study author Dr. Ted Hudson said.

So if you or your partner is always looking for the next best thing rather than committing to make your relationship last, it may not bode well.

8. He celebrates your achievements

Whether it’s deadlifting your bodyweight or learning enough German for a trip to Oktoberfest, it’s important to have a partner who celebrates your achievements.

But this isn’t just to make you feel great – a study published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that couples who did so were more satisfied with their relationships than those who reacted negatively or were indifferent.

9. He shares your values

Having a similar outlook in life could be crucial to a successful relationship, according to a study. The more alike your personalities are, the more likely you are to approach problems in the same way.

You and your partner will share similar approaches to everything from socializing to working if your priorities are the same, and this is likely to lead to a greater level of respect for one another.

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