SAYING IT NICER – THIS’ FRIENDSHIPOLGY

August 31, 2022April 23, 2023 ~ Billy

Billy – August 2022

Billy passed it on to his good friend, James Luce, and asked for comments. James responded promptly:

Hello Billy,
Here are a few more examples. You can build your own much longer list. Every time you hear a phrase or response that meets the criteria of “inappropriate, inaccurate, incomplete, or mean” just write it down and think about a better phrase or response.

Don’t be so stupid! → Have you thought of the consequences of that plan?

You’re wrong! → Please explain to me the facts that support your belief.

I hate you! → What you just (said/did) is extremely hurtful and makes me feel awful.

OBT, James

We can indeed build our own much longer list. This can be a very helpful practice. The idea essentially is “ Be considerate and be empathetic so that we do not to hurt others’ feeling unintentionally.” It helps to think over the words 3 times before passing on any comments – especially judgments.

Billy’s also learned from his late Yale classmate, David McCullough, that President Truman carefully reminded himself not to send out any response immediately when he felt upset. After review the following day he often decided not to send the original message.

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Words of Affirmation

August 31, 2022August 31, 2022 ~ Billy

Billy selected from <google.com> August, 2022

Examples of Words of Affirmation

“Everything is better when you’re here.”

“I appreciate it when you are helping us. “

“We couldn’t do this without you.”

“I’m so lucky to be with you.”

“I’m so thankful to have you in this life.”

“That’s truly impressive.” “It’s so true !”

“Thank you for your good suggestions on X, Y, and Z.”

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Kindness Without Condescension

August 19, 2022August 19, 2022 ~ Billy

Billy inspired by Charlotte Hiltons Andersen’s “ 60 Acts of Kindness for Kids to do to Make The World A Better Place “ – August, 2022

For Family:

Send a get-well card.

Text a funny meme.

Give a well-deserved compliment.

Do a chore for a dear sibling.

FaceTime a grandparent.

Give a hug to Mom, Dad, or a Cousin.

Read a book to a sibling.

Offer to be “Mother’s helper”.

Offer to walk the family Dog .

Organize the plastic containers.

Help prepare dinner, set the table, or wash the dishes.

Share a picture to express gratitude for something beautiful.

For Friends:

Write to a pen pal.

Make a friendship bracelet.

Leave five kind comments on social media.

Make a friend laugh.

Share toys and books.

Pick a dandelion for a friend.

Help with homework.

Pay for a friend when appropriate.

Give a friend a high five.

Write a friendship poem.

Help a friend with a project.

For a Neighbor:

Make cookies for a neighbor

Help bring neighbor’s newspapers or package up to their porch

Help shovel the sidewalk, or rake leaves

Take dinner to an elderly neighbor

Be polite, respectful, and cheerful with a happy smile.

For Teacher and Classmates:

Help pick up trash, stack chairs, put away supplies or whatever the teacher needs.

Eat lunch with someone who seems lonely.

Invite others to play together.

Donate extra sports-equipment to school as others may need them.

Tell someone they did a great job.

Talk to the new kid.

Volunteer to help hand out assignments. Save the teacher some work and time.

For the Community:

Help decorate lunch bags for community kitchens.

Put grocery carts back from parking lots.

Donate old books to local library, community center, church, or school.

Make cards or drawing for a retirement home.

Give thank-you cards to service workers who help you on a regular basis.

Make special kits for homeless people.

Donate toys to a children’s hospital.

Write letters to soldiers who serve our country selflessly.

For the World ( added by Billy ):

Be friend people with different cultures and backgrounds,

Promote and cultivate GOODNESS in each of us.

For Our Planet:

Ride a bike instead of driving.

Plant wildflowers.

Conserve water and energy use. ( added by Billy )

Pick up litter at a local park. Pick up litter and put in trash bin whenever possible.

Collect recycling and take it to a drop-off center.

Learn more from each other about our eco system. ( added by Billy )

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Words For Saying Sorry

August 19, 2022April 13, 2023 ~ Billy

Billy selected from Berlitz – August 2022

I’m sorry. I am truly sorry. I apologize.

Excuse me. My mistake.

Ooops/Whoops, I really didn’t mean it.

Can you forgive me?

Can you pardon me?

I truly regret that it didn’t turn out right.

It’s my fault. I truly want to retract, and make amends.

My deepest apologies !

That was thoughtless of me. That was wrong of me.

I am sorry. That was my fault.

I am sorry for the way I behaved.

I had good intent, but I didn’t realize that it could hurt. I apologize.

Sorry, I didn’t hear you. I didn’t mean to ignore you.

Sorry, I really didn’t mean to offend or to hurt you.

Sorry, I won’t do it again. I wish I hadn’t done that.

How can I make it up to you ?

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Eight Keys To Forgiveness – greatergood.berkeley.edu.

Know what forgiveness is and why it matters. Forgiveness is about goodness and extending mercy. Forgiveness can heal us and allow us to move on.
Become “forgivingly fit” – make it your second nature
Address your Inner Pain then forgive accordingly.
Develop a forgiving mind through empathy. Understand what caused the other person to do what he or she did.
Find meaning in your pain. Get new inspirations to do good.
When forgiveness is hard, call upon others strength.
Forgive yourself. Seek forgiveness from others for your errors.
Develop a forgiving heart.

Words to Congratulate

August 18, 2022August 18, 2022 ~ Billy

Billy Selected From <Google.com> August, 2022

Congratulations! We’re so very proud of you!
Your hard work and perseverance have paid off. Congratulations!
Congratulations on your well-deserved success! You’re an inspiration!
Warmest congratulations on your achievement! Wishing you even more success in the future.

“You’ve worked so hard for this. Congrats!”

“This is awesome! You’re awesome! Way to go!”

“Congratulations to the new home owner! With your touch, it’s going to look amazing!”

“I want to be the first to congratulate you on your promotion,”

“Cheers on the new job. You deserve it.”

“Congratulations! I am happy for you.

You should be really happy and proud of your success.

Congratulations on getting promoted! You are such an inspiration, and I’m so proud of what you’ve accomplished

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