Billy – August 2022

Billy passed it on to his good friend, James Luce, and asked for comments. James responded promptly:
Hello Billy,
          Here are a few more examples. You can build your own much longer list. Every time you hear a phrase or response that meets the criteria of “inappropriate, inaccurate, incomplete, or mean” just write it down and think about a better phrase or response.
Don’t be so stupid!  → Have you thought of the consequences of that plan?
You’re wrong! → Please explain to me the facts that support your belief.
I hate you! → What you just (said/did) is extremely hurtful and makes me feel awful.
OBT, James
We can indeed build our own much longer list. This can be a very helpful practice. The idea essentially is “ Be considerate and be empathetic so that we do not to hurt others’ feeling unintentionally.” It helps to think over the words 3 times before passing on any comments – especially judgments. 
Billy’s also learned from his late Yale classmate, David McCullough, that President Truman carefully reminded himself not to send out any response immediately when he felt upset. After review the following day he often decided not to send the original message.