Edward Mazria FAIA is founder and CEO of the nonprofit Architecture 2030 and is an internationally recognized architect, author, researcher and educator. Over the past four decades, his research into the sustainability, resilience, energy consumption and greenhouse gas emissions of the built environment has helped redefine the role of architecture, planning, design, and building in reshaping our world. He was awarded the 2021 AIA Gold Medal for his “unwavering voice and leadership” in the fight against climate change.
The Power of Friendships: When the UN Race to Zero asked for signatories and support from the architecture and planning community it was not out of friendship – they received few signatories. When Architecture 2030 asked for signatories and support for the 1.5 degC Communiqué from the architecture and planning community, we sent out a personal note to each of our friends and colleagues in our community, and every one of them signed up to demonstrate their support (see the 1.5 degC Communiqué and signatories here). Warm regards,Ed
Edward Mazria, FAIA FRAIC Architecture 2030 p 505|988|5309 w architecture2030.org
When I wrote to congratulate Ed yesterday, I also asked if he could write a few lines about Friendship in his Architecture 2030 experience. He responded instantly.
The key words in his comment were ” We sent out a personal note to each of our friends and colleagues in our community.” The POWER was indeed from PERSONAL CONNECTIONSor FRIENDSHIPS.
Ed and I were colleagues at Edward Larabee Barnes, Architects, NYC.near fifty years ago. We kept in touch only on rare occasions – last time we met was almost 20 years ago when he came to lecture at Stanford University. I have always admired his ambitions and his dedication to higher achievements with HIGH PURPOSES. It’s not at all surprising to me that he was awarded the 2021 AIA Gold Medal. My sincere congratulations to him.
The POWER in our Friendship comes from MUTUAL RESPECT and continued GOOD WILL towards each other. His ARCHITECTURE 2030 definitely provides me inspirations, and I in return will promise to help promote his Most Urgent Global Mission: CCC – Control Climate Change.
I have been doing informal research on Friendship & Friendshipology for quite a few years now. At the same time I tried to arouse interest among my friends and people who frequently connect with me in different situations. I thought long ago that I must challenge my professional colleagues to think more about Friendship & Friendshipology as we design buildings and spaces that effect people’s daily lives. I came up with the idea on asking ourselves, “ What is Friendly Architecture, and Can Architecture Induce Compassion ? “.
From my research so far, I can show many samples on Friendly Architecture, butI have not yet found any sample of Inspiring Architecture that can for certain induce Compassionate Actions. Induce Compassionate Feelings maybe. I thought of Germany’s Cologne Cathedral’s feeling of exaggerated verticality with pointed gothic arches and the colorful stain-glass window atop the sanctuary. I thought of Hagia Sophia Mosque in Istanbul. I thought of the Zen Garden in Ryoan-ji Temple in Kyoto, Japan. – as well as Lou Khan’s Salk Institute’ outdoor plaza in La Jolla, California
With my professional colleagues, we mostly focus on the “HOWs” as “How to Design Friendly Architecture” after first identifying “ What is Friendly Architecture”. In whatever we do in life, the “HOWs” are what ultimately determine the Resultant Impacts.
For this essay, may I ask you to join me in analyzing just two photos below :
May we first agree that these photos show “What Seems To Be Friendly Architecture ? I think what makes them look friendly is first their CALMNESS – Peaceful , Non-stressful. Then I think it’s their OPENNESS. They seem to Welcome and Embrace You. They are CLEAR, easy to understand and to build trust together. They seem to be DIGNIFIED yet INTERESTING. It stirs our own Imaginations. They are GRACEFUL. You feel Comfortable entering into their space.
I leave the real challenge on the “HOW” to you – especially on HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS and promote FRIENDSHIP & FRIENDSHIPOLOGY . Cheers with Best Wishes !
Kimberly Carlisle’s experience as an international swimmer for the United States, including the 1980 Olympic Games, informed her humane and global perspective from a young age, as did her deep sense of racehorses as fellow athletes. She is a passionate advocate and activist for human awakening to our impact on animals, the planet and each other. Through writing, speaking, photography and filmmaking, she tells stories that restore understanding, respect, compassion and empathy among all beings. Kimberly is a graduate of Stanford University and lives on Flag Ranch (flagranch.org), a sanctuary in northern California that is also home to a herd of more than 50 horses, 11 hens, three cats, two dogs, two roosters, a large and loveable spotted pig, and one very sunny goat.
Kimberly Carlisle is the Co-Founder (with Flag, of course) and Executive Director of Flag Ranch. http://www.flagranch.org , a horse + human collaboratory in California.
Cross-Species Friendship: A Goat Who Loved His Herd (of Horses)
Five years ago, we had to move our herd of 27 rescued horses as the property we were leasing had been sold. It would prove to be a harrowing, multi-stop journey until we finally found home, but we picked up a few gifts along the way. One of them was a remarkable black-and-white goat named Billy.
Billy had been left behind at the ranch that was our first stop, along with a few chickens and a llama. Whether it was his fear or his choice, no one could catch nor touch Billy. Our first horse to arrive was Flag, along with our blind mare, Caramel, and her mother, Tessa. No sooner were they settled into their paddock than Billy came around a corner and made a beeline for Flag and became an instant guardian to Caramel.
Billy feeling safe under Flag
As more of the herd arrived, Billy made his rounds, reaching his small nose to their large muzzles, nudging his forehead to their chests. As the days and weeks passed, he stayed in the herd at his will, eating what they ate, standing under their bellies when it rained, with clearly no need nor desire for human care or interaction.
When it was time to move, I called the woman who had left him behind. “If he gets on our trailers, he’s coming with us.” “Okay” she replied, “but he won’t.” And he did. He wouldn’t get on the first trailer with Caramel, but when it was time to board Flag, Billy hopped in alongside him.
At our next way station, the herd would be separated into two groups – the younger more able-bodied members would be in a rugged pasture that sat below a plateau where Flag, Caramel and a few others with physical challenges would be housed in temporary paddocks. When the trailer door opened to the lower pasture, Billy ran out to greet each herd member. Then he followed Flag and me up the hill and chose to stay in the paddock with Flag.
A few weeks later, our new home finally appeared and it was time to move the herd. Once again Billy boarded the trailer with Flag. A short ride later, Billy and Flag were exploring their new pasture together. This property was large – 100 acres – with old cattle fencing that Billy could have easily wriggled through and gone anywhere he wanted. He could come and go from the barns and paddocks at will – we offered him shelter and special goat feed, but he refused it, choosing to live 24/7 on the land with the herd.
Billy and Raven at Sunset ( photo by Susan T. Blake )
We knew the horses were protecting him from the coyotes who frequented our pastures at night, but we didn’t know how until one day two rogue dogs trespassed our acreage and began to chase Billy. We ran after the dogs who were running after Billy, but before we could reach them, the horses went into action: half the herd surrounded Billy while the other half chased off the dogs.
One day last fall, Billy came to the pasture gate uncharacteristically out of sorts – he wouldn’t eat, he was bloated and visibly in pain, and he had chosen to leave his herd. We rushed him to UC-Davis where they discovered he had a tumor larger than his heart sitting right next to it. With broken hearts, we had no choice but to help him transition. The vets estimated he was just shy of 10 years old, a good life for a goat.
We ask ourselves often – did we do right by Billy? We’ve been told goats must have shelter from the rain, they must have special supplements, they must not eat (much) alfalfa (we feed our horses primarily grass hay), or they will die. For his five years with us, Billy lived as naturally as a domestic goat can, entirely at choice. He would eat hay with the herd, and he would come up to the barn most days with some of the elders to share their buckets of mash. He was fine, until he wasn’t. And when he wasn’t, he let us know.
We have a new goat now, Sunshine, who came as a companion to another one of our blind horses. Sunshine is a goat of a different color, truly, with unique preferences and needs. He is clear, too, with whom he wants to be and what he is here to do, which affirms Billy’s choices and our support of them: he lived a life true that was true to him, on his own terms.
Flag passed on a few years before Billy did, at the age of 34, an extraordinarily long life for a horse. It comforts me to know he and Billy might be together again.
Summer 2004, via The 1990 Institute, I arranged for a delegation from Hillview Middle School from Menlo Park, Ca. to visit CNCC ( China National Children’s Center ) in Beijing to paint a Mural together with Chinese children. We called the project “Xin Xin Jiao” or “ Heart to Heart Bridging”. Kimberly, a Hillview parent , joined the traveling delegation and returned with amazing video shots that impressed everyone. One part showed the students’ from the two counties first lined up opposite each other. Then they closed their eyes, with hands stretched out while moving slowly towards each other. This deeply moved and emotionally effected both the Chinese as well as the U.S. parents . Some were all smiles. Some were immersed in deep thoughts. A few were in tears. They all seemed to be imagining a Possible Better World for the Next Generation. She truly captured a Magic Moment.
Tim Prentice and I may both be described as the sociable and amicable type of guys among mostly serious intellectual classmates at Yale’s School of Architecture in the late 1950s. We were the Happy Go Lucky fellows who enjoyed making friends as well as learning from esteemed professors. We had genuine rapport and always wished each other well.
Prentice and Chan and Copelin and Lee were both upstart Architectural firms in NewYork City – college buddies suddenly became keen competitors. Both firms were Included in the 40 Under 40 Exhibit by the Architectural League of New York.. But Prentice and Chan was always half a step ahead of us in terms of getting significant commissions in the New York Region.
Most sincerely I want to express deep gratitude to Tim, for his showing true Friendship and Support during our firm’s growing years. Tim recommended several Architectural commissions to Copelin and Lee ( including the prestigious new Air France’s Sales Headquarters in NYC ). On a personal level, he also recommended me to become a Member of the American Arbitration Association.
I am drawn to Tim’s wonderful Happy Personality. He seems to be always so Happy & Free in Spirit. He is most creative in his kinetic sculptures.
Look at this photo showing him imagining himself gliding through the wind.
And look at his “Flying Carpet :
He has created many versions of Reflective Metals Dancing in the Wind, so I have called him a Choreographer.
BTW, Tim is also an accomplished guitarist with a golden voice. He wrote : During the sixties the State Department sent Marie and me around the world with banjo and guitar to perform American folk songs and bring back songs of our host countries. In Bangladesh India we learned a boating song in Telegu from a couple of schoolgirls. We loved the song and on the way home we sang it for my cousins in Switzerland.
Years later while working in my shop in Connecticut and listing to a favorite radio station located in Paris that specialized in American Jazz and folk music I heard the boating song again for only the second time in fifty years. It is performed this time by a full choir. How could this happen?
One of my cousins had moved to Philadelphia and was now a music teacher. She had arranged the little boating song for her choir and the recording of it was picked off the air in Paris.
After a zigzag trip to India, Switzerland, Philadelphia, Paris and Connecticut, I have to wonder where it has been since our day and is it still drawing people together as it goes._____________________________________________________________
Tim Prentice Bio. :
Tim Prentice, kinetic sculptor, received a Masters Degree in architecture from Yale in 1960 and founded the award-winning architectural firm of Prentice & Chan in 1965. Ten years later, he established a studio in Cornwall, Connecticut to design and fabricate kinetic sculpture. His corporate clients include American Express, Bank of America, Mobil, AT&T, Hewlett-Packard, Wells Fargo, Astra Zeneca, Samsung and Nokia. In the last few years he has completed installations in Japan, South Korea, Northern Ireland, Australia, Hong Kong, Taiwan and Cameroon. He currently shows with Maxwell Davidson in New York and is represented in Europe by Miklos von Bartha in Basel. He has served on the boards of Hartford Art School of the MOMA Committee on Architecture and Design from 1968 to 1969. An Adjunct Professor of Design at Columbia University from 1975 to 1980, he is a Fellow of the American Institute of Architects and President, New York Chapter, A.I.A. (1973-1974). From 1974 to 1978 he was President of the Municipal Art Society of New York.
Pearl L. Wong (Center– Owner and Founder of Jazz at Pearl’s in S.F. Chinatown) w/ S.F.Mayor Willie Brown, S.F. Chronicle’s Journalist & Humorist Herbert Caen, Pearl’s Daughter Cookie Wong, and friends at Jazz at Pearl’s – 1984Nationally known Jazz Musicians performed at Jazz at Pearl’s because of their friendship with Pearl and partner, Sonny Buxton.
Hello Brother Billy,
As promised, here’s the article about Pearl L. Wong. Enjoy!
Pearl L. Wong will be celebrating her 90th birthday this September and we will honor and dedicate a day on behalf of our City and County of San Francisco. The plaque that will be displayed in Chinatown tells a great story about her life. She’s an overlooked Chinese American and one in a zillion !
‘When I was a regular and investor at the then Shanghai 1930 Guanxi Lounge, and after Jazz at Pearl’s had sadly closed, we engaged our dear friend Pearl to continue and promote Thursday night ala Jazz at Pearl’s where she held court with late nights – a fusion of entertainment and Chinese dim sum !’
FF, Gregory
PEARL’S ROOM ( the plaque ) Dedicated to Pearl L. Wong
In the basement of the Great Eastern Restaurant on Jackson Street, Pearl Wong created a jazz club in San Francisco Chinatown in 1984. At times, the joint was jumpin’ til 4 AM. As proprietor of the long running “Jazz at Pearl’s” on Columbus Avenue in North Beach, Pearl nurtured and elevated the local jazz scene with a listening room to present countless talented musicians including her daughter, vocalist Cookie Wong. Jazz patrons and musicians alike treasured Pearl and her club.
For her vision, tireless efforts, and love for this City, we dedicate this room to Pearl L. Wong.
Although Greg is already a “Senior Bro.” in our FF Fraternity, I have been a “Senior Brother” to him and others like WeiTai Kwok and Tony Keng etc., by almost one generation. However, I often address Greg: ‘Hon. Chew’, as he was appointed S.F. Arts Commissioner in September 2009. I have admired ‘Hon Chew’ not only for his prestigious title, but for a long time for his fame as the creator of the ‘California Dancing Raisins’ Campaign 1985’. He often sees things beyond what we commonly see.
Below is Greg’s story :
“Some time ago, the grape farmers ( California Raisin Advisory Board ) in the Central Valley of California were facing a huge glut of too many of their sweet products not being sold to consumers. It was known as ‘Nature’s Candy’ through the endless marketing campaigns. The advertising agency that I worked for ten years in the making at Foote, Cone & Belding, S.F. was hired and given the problem, or shall we say, an opportunity to change people’s perceptions, we initially performed numerous focus groups and discovered that raisins even reminded them of rat remains! The creatives were at work and came up with the IDEA to make Raisins cool
Therefore at the ‘pitch’ meeting in Fresno to the farmers, we all played performed the soulful pop hit Marvin Gaye’s ‘I Heard It Through The Grapevine’ and in partnership Will Vinton claymations maker we created the original three raisin characters to perform the song and ran the (TVC’s) nationwide television commercials.
It started a movement as consumers caught on with a wave of many serious followers. Many tons of raisins were sold nationally at all the major grocery markets as well as the agency started to merchandise products that were everything related to raisins.
If you come across or have collected a pair of ‘Raisin’ sunglasses, car sun shades, a claymation figure set (there’s at least six made), collected all the promos in all of the Sunday comic strip ‘Raisin’ characters, saw many a noted chef, cooking with California Raisins, dressed up for Halloween as a ‘Raisinette’ or hundred of other items from the campaign, we hope it reminds you of that fun time.
From Greg’s Introduction of Pearl L.Wong above, I noted two ‘Significant Comments’:
1) An overlooked Chinese American and one in a zillion and
2) Fusion of Entertainment ( JAZZ ) & Dim Sum.
Indeed, to partner with Sonny Buxton, a Black American Drummer, to present Jazz (the most Innovative & Original part of American Culture) from S.F. Chinatown, a Chinese American setting, was an admirably courageous and humanitarian decision. Indeed, there is still great need today to promote deeper cross-cultural understanding and good feelings among people from different cultures and different racial and gender backgrounds.
Dim Sum is an important part of Chinese Culture and Chinese Culinary Art.
點心, ( Dim Sum in Cantonese and ‘diǎn xīn’ in Mandarin ) means ‘Touching of the Heart ’. For me the ‘Touching of The Heart’ is indeed the ultimate goal of our Friendshipology Initiative.
In the world of advertising, Greg was Founding Creative Director of DAE, a full service multicultural advertising firm based in San Francisco, targeting the burgeoning Asian American and Asian consumers worldwide.
Prior to that, he worked for a number of mainstream ad firms and was also the team that created the iconic ‘California Dancing Raisins Campaign.’
In public service, Greg worked in the City and County of San Francisco Mayor’s Office, first appointed as Film Commissioner, to help revitalize the film industry, Immigrant Rights Commissioner,to fight on behalf of newly arrived citizens, then transitioned over to serve on the Arts Commission, At Large, to champion the arts and culture, visual, performing arts, street artists, including the San Francisco Symphony for all.
He has invested over a number of restaurants, one of which the runaway success, Betelnut in San Francisco’s Cow Hollow district.
He is an honorary judge of modern cars for the Rolls-Royce and Bentley Owner’s Club for many Concours events.
He has been a frequent guest host for the ‘Asian Comedy Night’ at the legendary Purple Onion, North Beach.
Greg was initial funder of Emmy Award nominee ‘Forever, Chinatown,’ a complex portrayal of a man and his memory in association with Good Medicine Picture Company.
He has taught advertising courses at U.C. Berkeley Extension, San Jose State University, and graduate classes at the Academy of Art University.
Phil and Paul hiking at Mission Park, Fremont Hills, Ca.
Now that we are on the cusp of re-opening California, it is time to reflect upon the past year. No parties, gatherings, restaurants, movies, concerts, weddings or libraries. It was largely an introspective year; cooking, biking, reading, hiking, gardening, hobbies, projects and personal growth.
Much will remain with me for the ensuing years as we enter this new phase. Coinciding with my retired neighbor (ex Wall Street veteran) with 2 teenage boys, a wife that works, who is now flushed with free time. Previously, he was a daily gym rat which they have been closed. Paul and I would hike many of the Mid Peninsula Open Space District 26 preserves in the Bay Area. From Bear Creek Redwood Reserve, Fremont Older, Picchetti Ranch, Rancho San Antonio, Steven’s Creek, Russia Hill Ridge, Mount Umunhum and over to Mission Peak in Fremont. Many of the trails are filled with poison oak in the summer, fallen tree limbs, rocks and tree roots breaking the surface as we pass through.
My approaching 70 years of age and Paul, a healthy 55. My stamina is not as in previous years but quite acceptable. Many of our treks were challenging and by conclusion, I was spent. All the while, Paul was eating up the terrain with ease. We always kept a good brisk pace.
It was not at all surprising that I traversed up and down these Mid Peninsula Preserves but my hiking buddy has Macular Degeneration of his eyes since his late 40’s. He can only see shadows with little depth perceptions. Yet, it was always I that weaken or occasionally tripped on the trails but never him. Often times, he would assist me with an arm to get to the top. I am his eyes and guide on these hikes. The appreciation and of each hike is unique with the added dimension of needing to convey the views to my hiking Buddy; the sky, horizon, trees, ravines, hidden dangers on the trails, meadows, cloud formations, animals, flowers, etc., all that we encountered of which we normally take for granted, is now looked upon, analyzed and translated by me.
This makes for smelling the roses even more. Our love for nature, camaraderie, friendship, and conversations makes for the best of hiking partners. Most handicapped people would reside in their homes but not my friend. A hiking Buddy and good friend to boot is a good combination to have. With the upcoming re-opening, we are off to see the Giant’s/A’s game come the end of June.
1 A Happy Birthday Greeting from my Dearest Cousin,Ah Millie, from Switzerland :
” With so much love, and untold amount of fondness..xxxxxxxxsqueese ”
2 James Luce and Amalia Pellegrini discovered the term “Friendshipology Friends
“友学 学友
We are all potential Friendshipology Friends !
3 Cousin Robert, Yu Zhenguang, son of Li Yun-Shan in Li’s Family K2 Branch -from Shanghai – 坤二房 – 俞真光 – volunteered to be one of our Li/Lee Family Connectors
4 An Amazing Discovery while addressing my Andover Classmates at our 70 th Reunion ( a Zoomed webinar ) .
After I suggested that we as grandparents should really leave at least two IMPORTANT WORDS to our children and grandchildren like PEACE & TOLERANCE, I thanked them all, and sent my deep LOVE & RESPECT . The LOVE I felt in me led to a RARE DISCOVERY: The more I felt I was giving, the more I felt replenished inside me. LOVE COULD BE INEXHAUSTABLE ! ! !
A metaphor of the Earth, its inhabitants, and their symbiotic problems
Suggested by a new Friendshipology Friend
By James Luce
7 June 2021
Today an itinerant observer from outside our galaxy sent to me a few observations about our planet. Not surprisingly, this voyager in time, space, and place conceptualizes both the physical and the ethereal universe with senses and processes different than ours. To this observer, the distinctions between simile, parable, metaphor, and analogy have long-eons-ago been extinguished. Thus, these observations, presented just as they were received, may at first seem obscure.
Here’s what the observer had to say:
I first saw your galaxy from the side. It looked unimpressively flat, lumpy, and still. The next time I cruised by, my vector was 90º from the plane. What a difference! Now it looked like an illuminated beach streaked by the tides and rotating counterclockwise. On the return trip my vector was 90º from the plane but from the other side. Same beach effect, but now naturally it was rotating clockwise. There is no “up” or “down” in space, no “universally correct” view of things. What something looks like is mostly a matter of perspective. Same galaxy, different motion.
Even the relative distance from the object makes a difference. From far away your galaxy looks almost solid, calm, and perfectly round. Getting closer you can see that it’s really made up of trillions of individual and widely separated stars, planets, moons, nebulae, asteroids, comets, even dust particles…an octillion of those at least…all swirling peacefully around an immense and immensely dense object from which no light escapes. All these galactic objects look different, act differently, but all have similar endings, and they are all part of the same universe.
Once you enter your galaxy, it’s impossible to see how big it is, how vast, how varied. One’s view is limited and fuzzy. Yet one image becomes extremely clear. The adjectives “calm” and “peaceful” are not apt to your galaxy. Stars explode and destroy entire proximate solar systems, instantly ending all life therein. Other stars expand slowly and swallow up all systems within trillions of miles, baking them to oblivion in white-hot plasma. Other stars just grow old and cold and all life on nearby systems freezes, crumbling into ice shards and then evaporating into space. In the end, entropy works, and everything will eventually disappear.
Since I was here, I decided to wander through your galaxy at just below lightspeed. After several of my planet’s years, my sensors spotted a blue-green planet orbiting third from a smallish star. I was far enough away so that your planet looked solid, round, uninteresting, but my sensors noted characteristics consistent with planets that support life. Not a rare find in my travels, but always fun to visit such places, to see yet again how varied life can be.
Nearing your solar system, my sensors indicated an abundance of water/carbon-based life forms. Such planets are always intriguing because…unlike life based on methane/silicon combinations or ammonia/crystalline combinations…water/carbon always results in an abundance of species.
Reaching the outer orbit of your planet’s solo satellite, your planet looked calm and peaceful, clouds drifting placidly in a thin coating of transparent gasses, floating over large expanses of water with scattered landmasses providing an interesting pattern. What a difference with a different perspective! Now your planet looked like an illuminated beach streaked by the tides and rotating clockwise. I noted that most of the landmasses were concentrated on the lower half of your planet.
After rotating my ship 180º your planet was now revolving counterclockwise, and the landmasses were concentrated on the upper half of your planet.
Intrigued, I moved inside your atmosphere on the sunlit side. It became increasingly difficult to see how vast and varied your planet is and virtually impossible to see back out into the vastness of your galaxy.
The peace and calm vanished as well. Everywhere you humans were doing your best to create chaos and your atmosphere was dangerously overloaded with heat and pollutants.
It struck me that if only humans could step back from each other just a bit that they might get a different perspective on each other and their planet. “All the time in the world” is not as long as you humans seem to think it is.
Response by Amalia Pellegrini – JAME’S new FRIENDSHIPOLOGY FRIEND :
Hallo James,
I greatly appreciate how you have gorgeously developed my hint in ” Our Galactic Beach.”.. disclosing the dynamism of galaxies ( what an adventure ! )
great the idea of the outside observer ! enhancing the principle of PERSPECTIVES… making all the difference…
With pleasure I share samples of my artphotography. I develop themes.. t a l e s... each as per its own perspective…as per the language of synthesis..through complicitas…since opposite perspectives… .come together … expressing a visionary, intimate ,adventurous, relationship…
This is Part II following Catherine Zhao’s Part I – “ABOUT FRIENDSHIP” posted Jan. 2021
Shaynee ( in Blue ) and Catherine ( w/ hat )
There are people you meet that change your life. There are people you meet that change your perspective. There are people that do both.
Catherine Xiaolin Zhao is one of those people.
I met Catherine in the late summer of 2016. I was fresh out of college and living in NYC. I was full of excitement and fear. I grew up in the Midwest in the United States and hadn’t traveled very much. I felt so overwhelmed by NYC, but I was in awe of it as well. As a kid who once lived in a house that was surrounded by cornfields, I was amazed at the amount of people, places, and cultures in the “concrete jungle.” I was eating alone on the back patio area of Webster Apartment, a wonderful place in midtown Manhattan that provides safe and affordable housing for female professionals, when we met. As an introvert, I remember wanting to quietly eat when along came a chatty and friendly person who ended up becoming one of my best friends. She asked me questions about Oklahoma, and I asked her questions about China.
When I was in elementary school and living in the above mentioned farming community, my family briefly thought we might be relocating to China for my father’s job. I was beyond thrilled. This was right before the Internet started slowly becoming a part of our daily life, so I had to grab the “C” labeled encyclopedia to read up on China. Sadly, we didn’t end up moving there, but my passive yet strong curiosity about China remained. I ended up growing up mostly in Oklahoma.
Catherine knew about the famous musical Oklahoma. Meanwhile, I didn’t understand what Chinese New Year’s really was, and wrongly thought sushi was a popular dish there. Afterwards, I remember calling my mom to tell her that I had made a new friend from China. Over the next few months, Catherine and I, along with some other women, played the role of “tourist” in the Big Apple. Those few months are filled with some of my favorite life experiences. I grew a lot as a person. Being around so many women from so many different countries gave me a different perspective on how America is perceived, in both positive and negative ways, abroad. It made me think more critically about America’s healthcare and college education system. It was such an eye-opening experience in so many ways.
One of the darkest and most surprising moments for me happened on a city bus. Catherine, our mutual friend from Germany, and I were on our way back to our apartment after a fun and adventurous day. Mere seconds after finding our seats, an older woman grew visibly upset that she was having to sit near Catherine. She angrily muttered something as she moved to a different seat on the bus. I was shocked. I couldn’t tell if Catherine had noticed or not. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t know what to say. Was this gross and uncalled for interaction a common experience for my friend? Then I got mad at myself for my own naivety towards the situation. One of my greatest hopes for our present day and future world is that the hearts and minds of hateful individuals begin to soften and open. That they begin to embrace,respect, and love other people and cultures.
Tragic and horrible events continue to teach me the injustices and hate that the Asian community continues to face on a daily basis in the United States and abroad. My sweet, hilarious, and brilliant friend is so much more than a statistic, but every time I hear of violence or racism towards Asians, I think of her. I think of her family. I think of her heart that is so full of love and joy.
Shaynee Sherwood lives in Kansas City, Kansas where she teaches at a private school that specializes in helping students with learning differences. As someone who is dyslexic herself, Shaynee is a strong advocate for the neurodivergent community. In her free time, Shaynee enjoys writing, yoga, and learning more about herself and the world.
Have you given much thought to a beautiful beach ?
When the average person without any geological training is standing on the shore they see a beach, a wide and long expanse of undifferentiated sand. The beach in this metaphor represents all the thousands of cultures in the world. The geologist is a metaphoric multiculturalist expert.
If a geologist asks the person to describe what they’re looking at, the response will be “a bunch of sand”. If asked whether they see anything in particular about the sand, they will note that there are different colors of sand. If pressed for more details, they may suggest the existence of different textures of sand. Pressed harder, they may even mention the fact that not all the grains of sand are identical in size and that there are bits and pieces of things on the beach that aren’t sand.
Never will they observe that each single grain of sand is unique. The chemical and mineral composition; the origin of each grain; the age of each grain; the shape and reflectance of each grain are all slightly different. However, one grain is no better than the other. One is no better at building the beach than any other. Yet each grain collectively gives the beach its own character. Some beaches are all black or even green. Some are permanent, some temporary. All these differences are to be observed in all our cultures, past and present and most likely future.
The problem is that unless prodded, people generally just see a beach, their beach, the perfect beach, the only beach the world needs…rather than understanding that their beach is really an amalgam of billions of grains of sand from around the world. When they see “their” beach, they do not understand that what they’re looking at is the world’s beach. Their beach is in fact the result of many thousands of years of cultural change, exchange, and experimentation.
To walk along a beach is to take those first steps of a thousand li journey across time and space. Some of the grains of sand will irritatingly get clogged between your toes. Sand flies, blood worms, and deer ticks add to the discomfort. Yet the journey overall is one of pleasant discovery…if one ignores all the irritations. The uniqueness of each grain of sand is forgotten in the general joy of being alive on this planet while being caressed by a gentle wind and a soft sun…just as everybody everywhere from all cultures experiences walking along the world’s beach.
BILLY’s COMMENTs: What I admire most about my dear friend and old colleague from The 1990 Institute Board is that he always thinks as broadly and deeply as about Black Holes, but somehow always relevant to our hearts and our humanity. I love especially many of his poems and shorter essays.
