discovered by Billy – November 2022

Some Social Rules That May Help You:

Loving and Amazing World  Posted by Dasha Tara –Updated Oct 18

1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to;

2. Return money that you have borrowed even before the person that borrowed you remember or ask for it. It shows your integrity and character. The same goes for umbrellas, pens, and lunch boxes.

3. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is giving you lunch/dinner.

4. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids’ or ‘Why didn’t you buy a house?’ Or why don’t you buy a car? For God’s sake it isn’t your problem;

5. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public;

6. If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time;

7. Respect different shades of opinions. Remember what’s 6 to you will appear 9 to someone facing you. Besides, a second opinion is good for an alternative;

8. Never interrupt people talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all;

9. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again. It encourages one to do more and it shows how appreciative you’re;

10. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.

11. Praise publicly. Criticize privately;

12. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will;

13. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next;

14. If a colleague tells you they have a doctor’s appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say “I hope you’re okay”. Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you about their personal illness. If they want you to know, they’ll do so without your inquisitiveness;

15. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rude you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect;

16. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude;

17. Never give advice until you’re asked;

18. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age and salary;

19. Mind your business unless anything involves you directly – just stay out of it;

20. Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. Moreso, eye contact is as important as your speech; and

21. Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don’t talk about your children in the midst of the barren.

22. Always remember to show APPRECIATION

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Billy learns from the side.

No cheating. Win or lose enjoy the togetherness and the Tics & Tacs.

Billy has two SPECIAL FRIENDS, James and Stephen, who seem to enjoy challenging each other intellectually via emails. See their latest correspondence below.

James:

Hello Stephen,

We have no way to know whether the human brain has risen above nature.  Porpoises may be more intelligent…they just do not have opposable thumbs with which to build weapons.  There may be thousands of more intelligent species somewhere off Earth.  It may be that our brains are not above nature at all…rather they may be a cancer on nature. 

Function does not, in my view, require purpose…only output. 

I just enjoy the meanderings of my brain and the compatible meanderings of those whom I count as friends. That’s plenty enough for me.  

Your friend, James

Stephen:

James,

You have exposed me to many ideas and knowledge and brought me along on my personal quest.

Two minds crossing paths in 1990s and lately in 2020s are not coincidental only in my sentiment. It is happier to think that there is a purpose as well as an output, or so I imagine and prefer. 

Cheers to our friendship!

Stephen

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Billy’s Observation:

Ultimately it’s the FRIENDSHIP we all value.

By Billy Lee – Member of USCPFA-South Bay – October 2022 

Started with Joining & Connecting with Hope.

Hope for simply forming Mutual Good Feelings.

Affection grew with Goodwill and Good Efforts.

Trust developed from mini collaborations.

Working together proved much more Meaningful.

Bonding became evermore Enduring.

Real Friendship has its Magic.

Hope, Trust, and Dedication for the Long Term .

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Two paragraphs Billy copied from Henry Shukman’s article, “Tree of Wisdom”. 2022 Shukman, author of The Lost City, teaches at Mountain Cloud Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico

Trees are our natural environment. They are our friends like no other species.

Warmth in winter, shade in summer, said the poet Alexander Pope, of trees’ gifts

to humanity. Where people are, trees are. Many cities are filled with trees. Some

even look like woodland from the air. For thousands of generations, trees have

provided people with windbreaks, shade, shelter, fire, and one of the primary

fabrics of our dwellings.

Trees are our closest neighbors. There are dogs, cats, cows, and other

domestic animals with whom some of us live, and there are our cousins like

the chimpanzee with whom we don’t usually live. On the other hand, pretty

much all people live with trees.

Just a photo of Trees – no word –                                                                                                                         ‘HELLO’ from Old Friend, Betty Wei Liu – Oct. 2022

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By: Xiaoyan Zhang, Ph.D.  August 2022

Suggested to Billy by Sophia Ho for Friendshipology.net

Our friend, Xiaoyan Zhang, Ph.D. (aka Dr. XYZ) shares with us this article about the Flying Tigers and his father’s lasting friendship with the 14^th air force under command of General Chennault during WWII. This is a moving piece about a friendship that transcended time and politics. Xiaoyan is obviously very proud of his father’s accomplishment. We should be as well!

On August 13, 2022, the documentary film “Flying Tigers Made Lifelong Friends” won the Outstanding Documentary film award at the Vancouver Chinese Film Festival.

The documentary told the story of a Chinese journalist Zhang Yan’s (my father) over 60 years of friendship with a group of American soldiers who served in the 14th air force (AKA Flying Tigers) under command of General Chennault during WWII when the U.S. and China were allies in the war against Japanese invasion. My father called his American friends “brothers without borders”. Their friendship was so deep and close that it transcended 60 years of turbulent history and politics between the two countries. Given current geopolitical tensions and the declining relationship between the U.S. and China, it is more than ever more important that we remember and cherish the friendship between the two peoples that touches the hearts of both sides.

In 1944, as a college student studying at a war-time university called “Southwest Associated University”, my father met a group of American soldiers working for the American 14th air force stationed in Kunming, Yunnan province. Learning about each other’s culture, history, and personal life, sharing thoughts about the war, and protecting each other by sharing critical information on the Japanese bombing, they quickly became inseparable. 

When the war was over in 1945, these American friends went home. Then there was the civil war between the Nationalist and Communist parties, the founding of the People’s Republic of China, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, and the Cultural Revolution. These political upheavals and military fights made it impossible for my father and his American friends to communicate for more than 30 years.

In 1979 when the U.S. and China normalized diplomatic relations, my father, a bilingual journalist, was selected to be one of the two first correspondents stationed in Washington D.C. in exchange for two counterparts from the New York Times. My father was elated and planning to reconnect with his American brothers as soon as he settled in the U.S. However, when he walked into his room at the Chinese Embassy in Washington D.C., a pot of flowers was there waiting. It was from his American friends living in New York City. So moved, my father picked up the phone and called Hyman (one of the friends) immediately and told him that he will see them when he visits NYC. Jumping up and down at the other end, Hyman said “No, we will take an airbus to see you tomorrow. We have been waiting for 30 years and cannot wait any longer.”

In the following years, my father and his friends traveled back and forth between the two countries and shared many beautiful memories. In 1980, I came to the U.S. and landed at the JFK airport and there was my American uncle Hyman standing at the gate with open arms to welcome me to America. 

Both my father and most of his Flying Tiger friends have passed away. But their lifelong friendship has forever changed my life and my appreciation of the American people. People-to-people communication, appreciation, trust and respect, and collaboration can generate true friendship that transcends time and politics. 

Here is the link to the trailer of the documentary if the reader is interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpK7_2RHsao&t=29s

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