PEOPLE THRIVE WITH PROPINQUITY                                 ROSSMOOR IS SUCH A COMMUNITY

~ Billy

Taken from an article by Art Salzfass – Rossmoor Ukelele Club ( RUC )

Propinquity is the phenomenon of forming a bond between people you share some physical or psychological proximity with. Creating tight interpersonal bonds with the people who are around us most often is a natural human thing. According to Wikipedia, two people living on the same floor of a building have a higher propinquity than those living on different floors.

Propinquity implies being connected. It can come from spending time in a place “where everybody knows your name and they’re always glad you came.” There you hang out together and become a fixture.

 A recent study found it takes about 50 hours of propinquity to make a casual friend; 90 hours to make a real friend; and about 200 hours to create a close friend.

At Rossmoor, there is one big club, the RUC, and lots of subgroups each of which meets at a different time so members get to feel they belong in many ways. Each member can be part of an extended community and has several opportunities to bond with the other members: to develop friends, to have experiences together, to share adventures, to sing and play together, to laugh together. That’s why people join; that’s why people stay. Kinship – the benefits of belonging.

BILLY”S COMMENTS: As a socially- concerned Architect, I am especially interested in the designs of such places – the physical and psychological environments for the various social activities. Architects should focus more on the design of SOCIAL GATHERING PLACES – be they Coffee Shops, bars, Gyms, Swimming Pools, Reading Rooms, etc. etc. etc.

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FRIENDLY ARCHITECTURE ? by Edward Wuenschel – August 2021

~ Billy


The post in your blog about friendly architecture had me a little puzzled at first, as this is a new way of thinking for me about architecture. I had observed that architecture of makes a statement, for example through form and function, but friendliness hints at the subtle effects that architecture has on the soul and the senses. Shortly after reading the article, I found myself exploring the map of the US, curious about places and regions where I used to live or had traveled. A memory arose in my consciousness about a road that I used to drive on my way between Baltimore and the Albany, NY area shortly after graduating from college in the early 1970’s.. The road is The Taconic State Parkway.

Here’s an excerpt from Wikipedia under the heading of Scenery:

Landscape architects such as Gilmore Clarke worked closely with engineers and construction crews during the Taconic’s construction, often on site. Some features of the road’s design address practical considerations and increase safety. Curves that climbed or descended were banked to increase vehicle traction and permit better drainage. Likewise the curves in undulating terrain are located to reduce blind spots at crests and keep the sharpest turns out of valleys. These also make sure that views of distant landscapes open up on downgrades and on long curves, when they are less distracting.[12]

Closer to the road, on the northern sections in Columbia and Dutchess counties, the road was routed to showcase a nearby view of wooded hillside or a farm. Since trucks were not permitted on the road—for some time, this even included privately owned pickup trucks used solely for personal use—in many sections tree branches overhang the roadways, creating a park-like canopy. The curve of the northbound AMVETS Memorial Bridge over Croton Reservoir echoes the surrounding hills. On the medians and berms, plantings were carefully planned to maintain continuity with the surrounding woods. On the descent into Peekskill Hollow in Putnam Valley, the trees and shrubs above the retaining wall on the east side were transplanted from the path of the highway, which retained the appearance of the local forest and saved money.[13] Overpasses, both carrying roads over the parkway and carrying it over roads, were faced in native stone.[12] Grade intersections, usually a feature engineers tried to avoid, which initially helped keep local east–west routes open[14] and connect the parkway to the landscape it traversed,[15] have since either been closed or replaced by overpasses.

As a result, the Taconic has been the subject of much praise over the years not only for its vistas but for the way it harmonizes with the surrounding landscape. Sociologist Lewis Mumford, who often criticized the effect of superhighway construction on contemporary cities, always advised friends traveling up from New York to visit him at his house in Amenia that they should take the Taconic.[16] He described it as “a consummate work of art, fit to stand on a par with our loftiest creations”.[17] The engineers, he said, had avoided “brutal assaults against the landscape.” Albany-born novelist William Kennedy, whose family frequently drove the Taconic during his childhood to visit relatives further south, called it “a 110-mile [180 km] postcard. It’s the most beautiful road I’ve ever known—in all seasons.” “You can drive it with confidence”, said automotive writer David E. Davis. “There are no bad surprises about the way the road is engineered.”[18] Landscape architect Garret Eckbo called the Taconic “as lovely an integration of highway engineering and landscape architecture as one could hope to find”.

 Commenting on this years later, architecture critic Matthew Gandy wrote:

Clarke’s design for the Taconic State Parkway, for example, provides a vivid example of a new kind of mediation among nature, technology and society, with what appears to be a delicate balance between the new infrastructural project and an imaginary natural order. Implicit within this aesthetic dialectic is the notion of engineering as an art form that can in some way embellish or even improve upon nature: there is no radical disjuncture here but a sense of aesthetic progression and purity of form.[19]


So there you have it, one example of “friendly” architecture.

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Billy found the following Taconic State Parkway photos from Googling. He learned from Ed Wuenschel’s writing above that indeed FRIENDLINESS is a JOYFUL FEELING created thru THOUGHTFULNESS and UNDERSTANDING of HUMAN NATURE and our INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP to NATURE :

FRIENDLINESS, indeed, privides a warm feeling of COMPANIONSHIP WITH THE SURROUNDING and the satisfaction of FEELING THE WONDERFUL BRIDGING and CONNECTING.    

Taconic State Parkway

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A PICTURE BOOK ON FRIENDSHIP THAT WARMS YOUR HEART

~ Billy

Mike Sterling always looks for Sources of Inspirations for Billy’s https://friendshipology.net January 2023

Billy learned :

With Love, Kindness, Good Companions, and Mutual Support,  we will survive the dark storms together.                                                                   

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SPECIAL EFFORTS IN BUILDING FRIENDSHIP & BONDING

~ Billy

By Billy Lee – Dec. 30, 2022

Yesterday, Lucille and I were invited to a lunch party in Cupertino, California. As both of us were no longer able to drive, Harry who invited us, personally came to pick us up, took us to Alexander Steak House, then delivered us home afterward. At age near 90, he was in good physical shape, but his kind transportation offer meant miles of driving and more than two hours from his extremely valuable time. To me, that was a special expression of mutual fondness and caring friendship.

Indeed, dear relatives and old friends, are precious – especially when they make extra efforts to visit one another. Old friends, Larry and Sophia, from Lexington, Mass.– both near 90s – traveled West to spend a few days with their son and grandchildren for Christmas. They carved out a special time to gather with us last week. The gathering was possible only due to their special efforts.  So, Thank you, Larry & Sophia.

CF and Florence are our generational family friends. CF is already 96 and needs a walker to move slowly. They were here from Washington DC to visit their younger family members. They knew that Lucille and I no longer drive and will find it difficult to join any gathering outside our home. The whole Kwok Family of ten came to our home for dinner. They brought food, service, lot’s laughs, and good spirit – deepening our Generational Family Friendship.

I discovered that I did a good thing yesterday. At that lunch gathering at Alexander Streak House, fourteen people were seated around a long rectangular banquet table. The elder members sat around one end and a younger group the other end. I observed that the young generation was actually quite interested in the elders’ conversations. So before dessert was served, I moved myself to sit with them on the other end. Some Special Bonding seemed to have been initiated.

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FRIENDSHIPOLOGY IS A STUDY OF VARI0US INTERCONNECTIONS.

~ Billy

Billy:  Can we analyze them as in Architecture and Toy Design ?

STRUCTURAL CONNECTIONS IN CHINESE ARCHITECTURE

THE ACTUAL SHAPING OF THE LINKS IS THE KEY

RUBIC’S  CUBE  – TURNING AND TWISTING TO MAKE VARIOUS EXPRESSIONS

LAGO TOY shows how GLOBAL CONNECTIONS CAN BE FORMED

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BILLY FURTHER WONDERS: CAN WE DESIGN FRIENDLY ARCHITECTURE?  

                                CAN ARCHITECTURE INDUCE COMPASSION ?

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HOW TO BUILD TRUST AND TRUE FRIENDSHIP ?

~ Billy

By Billy Lee  – December 2022

I try to grasp the essence of causes and effects in relationships, so that I can have a reasonable compass to guide my own behavior, and I like to reduce the number of words to the minimum in defining solutions, since over-complex explanations sometime distract and even mislead our focus.

On “How To Build Trust And True Friendship?”, I have the following suggestions.

1:    You must believe that Trust and True Friendship are important in your life.

2:    You must try to be Modest and Compassionate.

3:    Never intentionally or unintentionally hurt another person –  physically,  materially, or emotionally.   Always be sensitive to the Friend’s  Pride & Honor.  

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THANKS FOR WALKING MY PACE WITH ME

~ Billy

Billy Lee  December 2022

My good friend, James G Luce, thinks a mile a minute. I usually can’t keep up with him. But he is kind and often slowed down a bit and patiently explained what I was still puzzled about.

I thanked him for WALKING MY PACE WITH ME.

He replied,” WE ARE ALL  WALKING DOWN THE ROAD TOGETHER. The conversation is enlightening at all times.”

I inquired if there is a song already with that name, and if not will he compose one for our <https://FRIENDSHIPOLOGY.net>

James first mentioned that “ON THE ROAD AGAIN” written by Bob Dylan and sung by Willie Nelson was worth remembering. He dashed out the following composition the following day:

 

Walking Down the Road Together

By j. luce

Inspired by Billy Lee

(Sung to the tune of Roundup Lullaby, my favorite childhood song)

(links to the history, the score, and the melody )

http://pnwfolklore.org/wp-nwhoot/index.php/2018/09/24/a-cowboy-poet-and-a-song-odyssey-by-stewart-hendrickson/

http://folksongcollector.com/desert.html

Walk’n down the road of life all by yourself

Ain’t my kinda way to get around.

What’cha need is folks who sorta dream like you

Who help ya let your troubles settle down.

Slow down, so love don’t fly away

There’s time enough for talk’n, just forget about that squawk’n

Yes folks, we all can get along,

it must be true ‘cause it works for me and you

Yes folks, we all can get along,

it must be true ‘cause it works for me and you

Nothin’ miss’n in your life but more good friends.

Nothin’ that you need is in a store.

What the world is miss’n is within your heart,

Share’n what you got’s a real good start.

Yes folks, we all can get along,

So get walk’n down that road with your companions.

OBT

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Billy’s Comments: Luce and I got acquainted when we both joined The 1990 Institute thirty-two years ago.

He has always been kind by WALKING MY PACE WITH ME.

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RECOGNIZE THE NEGATIVE FORCES – SPEND MORE TIME TO PROMOTE THE POSITIVES  !

~ Billy

By Billy Lee December 2022

FRIENDSHIPOLOGY means STUDY OF FRIENDSHIP or indeed HUMAN RELATIONSHIP. What enhances GOOD RELATIONSHIPS and what causes AWKWARD RELATIONSHIPS ? 

MISTREATMENTS whether PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, DIRECT, or INDIRECT are the NEGATIVE FORCES. Some unkind acts are INTENTIONAL, some ACCIDENTAL, some REACTIONAL, some INDUCED or PROVOLKED.

OPENNESS, EMPATHY, TOLERANCE, FORGIVENESS & TRUST are the POSITIVE COMPASSIONATE ENERGIES we all need to develop as FRIENDLY GLOBAL CITIZENS.

HELPFUL KNOWLEDGE FOR FRIENDSHIPOLOGY

~ Billy

discovered by Billy – November 2022

Some Social Rules That May Help You:

Loving and Amazing World  Posted by Dasha Tara –Updated Oct 18

1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to;

2. Return money that you have borrowed even before the person that borrowed you remember or ask for it. It shows your integrity and character. The same goes for umbrellas, pens, and lunch boxes.

3. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is giving you lunch/dinner.

4. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids’ or ‘Why didn’t you buy a house?’ Or why don’t you buy a car? For God’s sake it isn’t your problem;

5. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public;

6. If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time;

7. Respect different shades of opinions. Remember what’s 6 to you will appear 9 to someone facing you. Besides, a second opinion is good for an alternative;

8. Never interrupt people talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all;

9. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again. It encourages one to do more and it shows how appreciative you’re;

10. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.

11. Praise publicly. Criticize privately;

12. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will;

13. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next;

14. If a colleague tells you they have a doctor’s appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say “I hope you’re okay”. Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you about their personal illness. If they want you to know, they’ll do so without your inquisitiveness;

15. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rude you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect;

16. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude;

17. Never give advice until you’re asked;

18. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age and salary;

19. Mind your business unless anything involves you directly – just stay out of it;

20. Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. Moreso, eye contact is as important as your speech; and

21. Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don’t talk about your children in the midst of the barren.

22. Always remember to show APPRECIATION

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