SOME JOKES ON FRIENDSHIP FROM GOOGLE SEARCH

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Billy to his tennis Buddies on Nov. 9th:

I need friends to help promote FRIENDSHIPOLOGY.

See special edition of Youth Uniting Nations attached. Few friends around the world are already helping.

But I really need good articles by friends like you.

Please consider writing something meaningful

for this website: <https://friendshipology.net>

Bill Shilstone responded on Nov. 10th :

I recommend that you suggest a few possible topics

Here are some ideas for starters:

• What did your mother or father teach you about friendships?
• Who is your best friend, and why?
• When did you stand up for a friend?
• Think of a friend of yours. When did you realize he/she was a friend?
• What is important to you in a friendship?

Shilstone sent Billy another note on Nov. 11th:

Here’s a Veterans Day Thought for Billy’s World

Some of my best and longest-lasting friendships were formed during my 3.5 years in the U.S. Navy. Training in the U.S. and deployment in the Western Pacific brought me into contact with people of all shapes, sizes, colors and behaviors. A young person could not have a better education – and get paid for it.

I’m not advocating reinstatement of the military draft, but I agree with those who think some kind of mandatory public service (say 18 months abroad, in the inner city or on Native American reservations), would pay dividends in promoting human understanding.

Call it a Friendship Draft, and let Billy Lee be the first to go!

–Bill Shilstone

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A FRIEND

How brave friends are to sift through all our conversations and keep only the good. When life ends only the good rises up. Time and time again only the good lasts. The effort we made to support others, the times we visited when there were problems, the way we held the ground for others. Good survives and reigns.

Friendship is Art, Art is friendship. I have just written a eulogy for Ngawai Te Hinga Mc Intyre who was 88 years old. A beautiful Maori woman who lived as a monk. What was it about our friendship?

After a day of note taking and sorting pictures of many events, I put the video together and tomorrow it will be used in the service for her.

She was tiny and had a huge spirit. She was multicultural and held a world view on everything.

She had a black belt as her defence and she went to court to prisons, to councils, supporting her whanau`s legal problems. She meant no harm to anyone. She had trained as a minister of the church, one woman amongst 35 men. She then married a wealthy man and travelled the world. When that marriage ended, she became kuia to the New Zealand Children`s Art House around the country.

She got lost in the world of children and danced and sang with them. Now everyone remembers her smile, her joy, her laughter.At 60 she looked 40. At 80 she looked 60. She was forever young.

I am left thinking of her self- dignity, her discipline and her friendship to me. She made me feel I was her bestie, and I know that everyone felt like that. Her best friend. Dismissing complaints, shame pain, blame and the culture of complaint, Nagwai turned tables on so many people with her warmth and smile. Ngawai served humanity without complaint.

I send you her recent picture and her story as a friendship token for your FRIENDSHIP & FRIENDSHIPOLOGY work.

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About Shona <www.shonahammondboys.com>

           I am a New Zealander. I was born at the end of the war, in Te Kuiti, in the King Country and my earliest days were spent in Pureora forest. I grew up on a farm in Kio Kio near a marae.  It was on the border of the King Country and the Waikato. I attended school in the predominantly Maori village of Kihikihi.  In my earliest years in Hairini, I was educated in Maori history and I understand the bond with the environment that runs deep in Maori.

That same bond is very deep within me. I am passionate about my native land. I love the stories about the legendary inhabitants of the bush wrapped in cloaks of flax and fern and having sometimes extraordinary powers to meddle for good or for evil in the affairs of humankind. I was lucky enough to be a first scholar at Waikato University and Teachers Training College and developed strong associations with Marae and Schools across New Zealand.  I have travelled and taught around the world but New Zealand is my home.

I went to USA for the first time in 1963-1964 on an American Field Service Scholarship. This cemented the significance of the Maori people in my life because I saw many different cultural groups and studied the different races living in New York.

In New Zealand I qualified with distinction as a teacher in 1967 and later in 1989 as an artist majoring in Figurative studies and portraiture. I held the appointed Government position for the Northern Regional Arts Council of the Queen Elizabeth Arts Council and as an artist, I was invited to go to Waitangi to make many sketches of the diverse Maori groups there for the 1990 ceremonies held for the commemoration of the 150 years since the Treaty of Waitangi signing. This was a government commission.

Pirimi’s World, a series of five readers by Shona Hammond Boys QSM, results from her studies of gifted and talented children in The New Zealand Children`s Art Houses of which she is National Director and Founder.  Shona was awarded the Inaugural World Children Award 2015, by International Child Art Foundation for her services to children`s art worldwide. Shona`s CV is available on her website and these books are also on line at www.shonahammondboys.com The books are filmed and set to music by He Tangata Digital Media Systems Limited www.htdm.maori.nz with Laban Freeman as voice over.

1. PIRIMI`S HOMEWORK:  Pirimi`s kapahaka whanua is a collection of portraits of his family. He draws this for homework instead of writing and essay. It shows relationships and an extended family life.
2. PIRIMI`S PEOPLE:  A collection of portraits about Pirimi`s neighbours who come from all walks of life and the globe.It includes a map of the neighbourhood and where they all live.
3. PIRIMI`S NATURE STUDIES: The natural life around him is a subject of great interest  to Pirimi. He shares his knowledge of the local animals and creatures in his immediate environment.
4. PIRIMI`S EXHIBITION: Pirimi`s solo exhibition is to raise money for a Children`s Art House. He puts up 80 portraits of friends and family .He uses his talents to advocate for others.
5. PIRIMI`S GARDEN AND THE BEES: This reveals Pirimi`s true concern for the environment, the global future and shows how our attitude to the environment matters. Pirimi has a bee hive and advises everyone to stop using sprays and chemicals and to look after the bees.

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Billy’s Comments: I met Shona at the 2015 World Children’s Festival sponsored by International Child Art Foundation in Washington D.C. . She was the first person who approached me and inquired if I belonged to a Friendshipology Organization. I answered “No, but how about we explore together to create one ?” We thus became “Bosom Friends”. Indeed, I feel most inspired by Shona’s dedication to Art and the KINDNESS she has practised, taught, and promoted around the world.

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Dear Bill:

We first met seventy years ago, at the home of my Uncle Jack at 
Bronxville, New York.  It is incredible that we stayed in touch all 
these years through happy youth, prosperous adulthood, and quiet senior 
citizenship.  Confucius used to say that “It is rare to reach the age of 
seventy”.  But we managed to survive to ninety.  May the next ninety 
year be even more prosperous.

Jim Wei

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Vita:  James Wei received his Bachelors degree in Chemical Engineering from Georgia Institute of Technology in 1952, M.S. and Sc.D. in Chemical Engineering from MIT in 1954 and 1955 (with a minor in Fine Arts from Harvard).  He also has a degree in Advanced Management from Harvard Graduate School of Business Administration in 1969.  He began his career as a Research Chemical Engineer for Mobil Oil Research in 1955, and advanced to Manager of Long-Range Analysis by 1969.  He was Visiting Associate Professor of Chemical Engineering at Princeton University in 1962-1963, Visiting Associate Professor of Chemical Engineering at California Institute of Technology in 1965, and Sherman M. Fairchild Distinguished Scholar in 1977.  From 1971-1977, he was the Allan P. Colburn Professor of Chemical Engineering at the University of Delaware.  He joined MIT in 1977 where he served as Department Head of Chemical Engineering until 1988, and was the Warren K. Lewis Professor from 1977-1991.  Between 1991 and 2002, he was Dean of Engineering and Applied Science at Princeton University.  Since 1991, he was also Pomeroy and Betty Perry Smith Professor of Chemical Engineering at Princeton University.  

            Dr. Wei has published more than 130 research papers on chemical kinetics, catalysis, reaction engineering, and cancer chemotherapy.  He has co-authored seven books, including “The Structure of Chemical Processing Industries” with McGraw-Hill in 1978, and “Product Engineering: Molecular Structure and Properties”, Oxford University Press in 2007.   Professor Wei has been editor of several book series and journals including:  Chemical Technology, member of the Executive Board, 1971-1979; Consulting Editor for McGraw-Hill Book Series of Chemical Engineering from 1964-1992; and Editor-in-Chief of Advances in Chemical Engineering, since 1982, responsible for Volumes 12-24.  He served as the president of the American Institute of Chemical Engineers in 1988. He is currently a trustee of Smith College and the American University of Beirut.

            Among Dr. Wei’s awards are:  Award in Petroleum Chemistry from the American Chemical Society, 1966; Professional Progress Award from American Institute of Chemical Engineers, 1970; Member of the National Academy of Engineering, 1978; William H. Walker Award of the American Institute of Chemical Engineers, 1980; Member of American Academy of Arts and Sciences, 1982; Member of Academia Sinica, 1982.  He was designated one of thirty “Eminent Chemical Engineers,” at the AIChE Diamond Jubilee Meeting, 1983; and Founders Award of the American Institute of Chemical Engineers for contributions to the profession, 1990.   He was chosen as one of “One Hundred Chemical Engineers of the Modern Era”, at the Centennial Celebration of the AIChE in 2008

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BILLY’S COMMENTS: Jim and I met when we were young college students enthusiastic to befriend others who share similar high aspirations. Uncle Jack’s home was friendly and relaxed. The elders truly encouraged us to strive and to connect. During the past 70+ years, we did not meet that often, but we kept up with each other’s good progress and shared miscellaneoous news of mutual interest. We indeed focused mainly on sustaining “Good Feelings” . We have a GOOD and BEAUTIFUL Friendship, indeed ! Thank you, Jim !

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Listen Up and Learn Something

In the 1950s, I left the southern United States where neighbors were of English, Scottish, or Irish descent. We followed the same unwritten rules on how to dress, what to eat, and how to behave. As years have passed, wanting to find out more, I began introducing myself to strangers, asking them questions, and they told their life stories. The abbreviated stories below are part of my current project called, Listen Up.

Billy Ming Sing Lee, young Chinese Architect and John Viano, old New Hampshire native collaborated together on our modern house in New Hampshire decades ago. Billy used ancient feng shui techniques to snug in our house among trees, boulders, and mountains at the edge of a lake. Even today, strangers paddling by will stop and exclaim and compliment the beauty of Billy’s and John’s work. Billy, as you know, has graduated from building houses to building friendships among nations.   

Maya Angelo, a stranger, famous poet and guest speaker at Sleepy Hollow Country Club in New York graciously shared with me how she gets the attention of a distracted noisy group of a hundred or so well-to-do guests at a Sleepy Hollow Country Club, New York benefit.  In a change of pace, she tells us how to get others to listen to us.   

Jean Royer, called the blueberry man in Moultonborough, NH, went from being a lonely only child to becoming a pioneer computer wizard with his own company. In his next adventure, he owns a PYO (pick your own) blueberry farm.  With the help of his wife Jeannine he uses opportunity to befriend dozens of strangers from all walks of life as they pick berries in his fields.  

Ken, Supervisor of a Recycling Center in New Hampshire, fondly called the Dump, spreads his cheer talking to hundreds of people daily, even though all seem in a hurry to get on with their lives. He listens to complaints and suggestions and helps out in a myriad of ways. Oh the stories Ken knows…

Dave, a Ship’s Captain in Alaska has a glamorous job where he gives equal attention to the whales, guests, and crew. This debonair man’s loyalty to his childhood sweetheart, now his wife, was touching, and inspiring. Captain Dave listens to port officials, crew members, and ship guests as if they were family.

Sharon Jones, renowned singer from Portsmouth, New Hampshire was often the only Black child in her class. She tells how her mother, her dog, and a doll given her by her teacher helped her get through being ignored by the other kids. She has found her magic singing to people all over the world. Having courage, being entertaining, and caring about strangers are her trademarks.

Edwin, a car salesman in North Carolina got his start selling vacuum systems. He convinced a wizard of the KKK who originally tried to turn him away because of his race, to buy a vacuum cleaning system from him. Edwin has built trust, friendship, and respect with all of his customers – former strangers – but now friends. He works his magic by acts of kindness, thoughtful gifts, and staying in touch.   

Elaine, daughter of the painter portraying Booker T. Washington, founder of Tuskegee Institute, speaks of her, her mother’s, and sisters’ regrets of not being allowed to participate in racial protests and activities. Afraid their father might lose his job, they could only listen, not talk. Their frustration lasted for decades. They have taught me to feel fortunate I have been able to freely communicate and hear other viewpoints.

Conclusion:  Asking, listening, and respecting strangers has changed my life. Before I started this project Listen Up, when I saw an unknown person sitting alone at a party and felt sorry for them, I rushed over to make them feel welcome. I thought I was doing them a favor. Now I know better. Today when I rush over to talk to a stranger, it is to listen to their story, understand them better, and marvel at what I can learn.     

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Billy’s Comments: Emilie wrote me a week ago:  “My second book which I’m 3/4 of the way through is about how much one can learn from listening to strangers who are different from you. Especially the thought that wouldn’t this be a better place if we strangers talked and listened to each other.”  Emilie and husband Dick Spaulding were my architectural clients at first. We are now Dear Old Friends. Dick, btw, lured Emilie from Georgia to New York City. Dick, while at Scholarslic Magazine, also discovered and introduced Harry Potter to the world.

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