The creeping warmth of the rising sun on a cold December dawn

Walnut sprinkles descending on a sundae, joined by an eager spoon

The thrill and delight when a thrush bursts spontaneously into song

The joy of standing in a long hot shower while singing a happy tune

The wisdom to be gentle when teaching children right from wrong

Hiking in a forest green…the mossy leaves below…above, a brilliant moon

Giving rather than taking

Mending rather than breaking

Healing rather than aching

Progressing rather than braking

One hand making a friendly shake, while two can make a loving hug

Strangers becoming friends while fixing up their neighborhood

Foamy, frothy, creamy, bubbly chocolate as it’s pouring into your mug

This is but a tiny list of the myriad of things that are truly Good

One can do good, be good, and feel good, but these are not identical

When analyzing one’s behavior, it’s always smart to stay a bit skeptical

Do unto others as you would have done unto you?

Nay. Rather do unto others as they would have done unto themselves

After all, what’s good for a goose may not be good for a gander, it’s true

Life is not a rainbow, rather it’s an abundant array of fascinating pastels

The good and the wise lead quiet lives.

Euripides

In “ RELAX AND THE WORLD RELAXES WITH YOU”, James Luce  wrote to Billy: “ I finally learned how to RELAX.”

Billy immediately urged:  Please share your SECRET ON HOW TO RELAX.>What were your ANXIETIES to begin with ? Did you do MINDFUL MEDITATIONS ? Did you have an AH HA MOMENT ? Did you have to make certain SACRIFICES ? Have you also learned HOW TO STAY RELAXED ?

James Replied:

Hello Billy,  You ask, what is my secret of how to relax…

It’s important to distinguish between being relaxed and being apathetic. Additionally, one can be excited, even agitated, and yet still be relaxed.

          My peculiar road to relaxation began one day about fifteen years ago when I suddenly realized that worry is a waste of time and is also totally unproductive. Of course, worry should never be confused with planning, anticipating, analyzing. 

          Somewhere further down that road, maybe five years ago, I realized that being concerned about things over which I had absolutely no control was just as silly as worrying. This led me to the corollary realization that the only things I could do anything about were local.  That places the news of the world into a bottle to observe, not a monster with which to do battle.  That concept also allows one to focus on real problems and real solutions…because the problems are in one’s face, urgent, and usually fixable by oneself or often “with a little help from my friends.

          The latest stride down my road to relaxation, coincident with my heart valve replacement, is the realization that worry is not just a simple waste of time, but is actually a terrible waste of very valuable time. All the more reason to eschew worry and, instead, embrace life and friends in a relaxed fashion

Stephen Lee chimed in:

Hello Bill and James, Here are my personal answers.

SECRET ON HOW TO RELAX.

What were your ANXIETIES to begin with ?                                                     Uncertainty of what may happen outside of my expectations

Did you do MINDFUL MEDITATIONS ?  Not as a scheduled daily activity but occasional reminder to myself to slow down and center my mind and be calm and introspective 

Did you have an AH HA MOMENT ?  Yes, not very often or intense. Rather a flash of thoughts which trigger my sense of creative speculation about my topics of interest.

Did you have to make certain SACRIFICES ? Yes, but I generally don’t use the word sacrifice but trade-off. Sacrifice tends to mean self sacrifice. A trade-off is a simultaneous gain and loss effect on myself and another person(s).

Have you also learned HOW TO STAY RELAXED ? Yes. To stay relaxed, I need to have an environment which does not constantly present sensual stimulation in sound, visual images, vibration, smell, or breathing. Certain peaceful sounds and music and natural sceneries usually enable me to relax and stay relaxed. 

____________________________________________________

Doris Lam added her perspective:

How to Relax?

To me, to relax is not my life goal. Because somehow vibrancy in life is attractive, it means excitement, passion, motivation, potential etc. Mundane, stagnant, uneventful and stable are negative adjectives to me.

Relax by definition from dictionary is less stress, anxious and tense. Or to be less strict or rigid.

I became relaxed after being mindful of what worried me, confronting it with worst scenarios and then intellectually telling myself that I would be able to handle it thus returning to emotional state of letting go. My anxiety then became an indicator of how well I succeeded in relaxing. Generally, my anxiety did not stay very long; I vented them out which probably caused discomfort to others which led them to see me as anxious.

Lately I finally began to appreciate why others urge me to stay relaxed. Because they view relaxed as positive; I felt being too relaxed as possibly passive. I enjoyed intensity and passion.

Being older now made me accept RELAXATION as an attractive lifestyle too.

How do you address your anxiety?

Define and identify source of anxiety

Confront problem by: Finding feasible solutions- Imagining worst outcome

Evaluating own limitations and priorities (emotional stress, ability to control, worthiness, level of satisfaction, etc.)  then hoose a solution

Accept solution by handling it emotionally and letting go, not worrying about change of situation, knowing that new problems will be solved similarly.

_________________________________________________

BILLY’s Comments: So what have I learned from my three esteemed friends ?

From James:  BE RELAXED but not APATHETIC. NOT TO WASTE VALUABLE TIME ON UNPRODUCTIVE WORRIES.- VALUABLE TIME BEST BE SPENT TO EMBRACE LIFE & FRIENDS IN A RELAXED FASHION.

From Stephen: UNCERTAINTIES DUE TO EXTERNAL FORCES – BE CALM AND INTROSPECTIVE TO ACHIEVE OPTIMIZATION – PEACEFUL MUSIC  & NATURAL SCENERIES HELP-

From Doris:  ENJOY INTENSISITY IN LIFE.- RESOLVE ANXIETY INTELLIGENTLY WITHOUT WORRYING FUTILELY>

BILLY’S CONCLUSION: How about having a discussion on RELAX – PURE IDEALISTS vs. PRAGMATIC IDEALISTS

____________________________________________________

James Luce’s reply to Billy’s comment on this photo:  “Love your new “Casual Soft Look “ and Melissa’s “Comforting Approval “

James and Melissa relaxing at an ancient monastery converted to a Catalan restaurant in the foothills of the Spanish Pyrenees

Hello Billy, 

The “casual soft look” is due to the fact that I’ve finally learned how to relax. Paraphrasing and lightening up Ella Wheeler Wilcox’s too-downbeat-but-on-point poem…Solitude to:

                    “Relax and the world relaxes with you.”  

        Laugh, and the world laughs with you;

        Weep, and you weep alone;

        For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,

        But has trouble enough of its own.

        Sing, and the hills will answer;

        Sigh, it is lost on the air;

        The echoes bound to a joyful sound,

        But shrink from voicing care.

          Rejoice, and men will seek you;

          Grieve, and they turn and go;

           They want full measure of all your pleasure,

           But they do not need your woe.

           Be glad, and your friends are many;

           Be sad, and you lose them all,—

           There are none to decline your nectared wine,

           But alone you must drink life’s gall.

            Feast, and your halls are crowded;

            Fast, and the world goes by.

            Succeed and give, and it helps you live,

            But no man can help you die.

            There is room in the halls of pleasure

            For a large and lordly train,

            But one by one we must all file on

            Through the narrow aisles of pain.

OBT, James

The Practice:  August 2024 – Simple practices for resilient happiness from Rick Hanson, PhD

ChatGPT: Here are 25 expressions of magic feelings from different group collaboration efforts:

1. Orchestra Rehearsal

Feeling: The harmony of instruments, like a single heartbeat, pulsates through us.
About Self: I am a note in this symphony, essential yet fleeting.
About Others: Each musician is a thread, weaving a tapestry of sound.
About the Collective: Together, we create a world that cannot be built alone.

2. Basketball Team Victory

Feeling: The court feels like an electric current, charging us with shared energy.
About Self: I am the flicker of a spark, igniting when the team needs light.
About Others: My teammates are the fire, fierce and unwavering.
About the Collective: We are a storm, unstoppable and wild, yet controlled.

3. Scientific Breakthrough

Feeling: Discovery feels like the sudden burst of sunlight after a long, dark night.
About Self: I am a particle, small but essential in the collision of ideas.
About Others: My colleagues are the other particles, each sparking a reaction.
About the Collective: Together, we are the dawn of new understanding, lighting the path forward.

4. Community Clean-Up Effort

Feeling: The act of cleaning feels like the shedding of old skin, revealing something pure underneath.
About Self: I am a drop of water, small but vital in cleansing the world.
About Others: They are the wind, guiding and pushing forward our shared purpose.
About the Collective: We are the river, flowing towards a brighter, cleaner future.

5. Choir Performance

Feeling: The music feels like a warm embrace, holding us all together.
About Self: I am a single voice, distinct yet harmonious.
About Others: Each singer is a note, blending into a melody that touches the soul.
About the Collective: We are the song, resonating with the power of unity and emotion.

6. Relay Race Win

Feeling: The baton feels like a torch, passed from hand to hand, lighting our way to victory.
About Self: I am a runner, my legs the burning fuel that propels the team forward.
About Others: My teammates are the track, each curve and straightaway guiding my path.
About the Collective: We are the race, every step and breath a testament to our shared determination.

7. Humanitarian Aid Mission

Feeling: The act of giving feels like planting seeds in the barren earth, with hope as the rain.
About Self: I am a single seed, carried by the winds of compassion.
About Others: They are the soil, nurturing and supporting the growth of life.
About the Collective: We are the forest, growing stronger together, offering shade and shelter to those in need.

8. Group Art Project

Feeling: The creation feels like the blooming of a thousand flowers, each petal a stroke of shared vision.
About Self: I am a brushstroke, adding color and depth to the canvas of our imagination.
About Others: My fellow artists are the palette, mixing ideas into a vibrant spectrum.
About the Collective: We are the painting, a masterpiece of collective creativity and expression.

9. Environmental Protest

Feeling: The protest feels like a wave, crashing against the walls of indifference.
About Self: I am a drop of water, merging with the ocean of voices.
About Others: They are the current, powerful and unyielding, pushing us forward.
About the Collective: We are the tide, relentless and unstoppable, reshaping the shores of change.

10. Jazz Ensemble Jam Session

Feeling: The music feels like a conversation, where every note is a word, and every beat a gesture.
About Self: I am the rhythm, the heartbeat that syncs with the pulse of the group.
About Others: They are the melody, weaving their thoughts and feelings into the fabric of sound.
About the Collective: We are the jazz, unpredictable and free, yet deeply connected in the flow of improvisation.

11. Group Cooking for a Charity Event

Feeling: The kitchen feels like a cauldron, bubbling with flavors of love and care.
About Self: I am a single ingredient, essential yet transformed by the heat of collaboration.
About Others: They are the spices, adding zest and warmth to the dish of our shared purpose.
About the Collective: We are the meal, nourishing not just bodies but souls with every bite.

12. Theatrical Performance

Feeling: The stage feels like a shared dream, where every action is a step in a dance of imagination.
About Self: I am a character, living and breathing through the words we speak together.
About Others: They are the other players, each a mirror reflecting parts of my soul.
About the Collective: We are the play, a living story woven from the threads of our collective passion.

13. Innovation Hackathon

Feeling: The room feels like a laboratory, buzzing with the electricity of ideas in motion.
About Self: I am a circuit, connecting concepts and sparking innovation.
About Others: They are the wires, each one transmitting energy and information to the next.
About the Collective: We are the invention, a new creation born from the synergy of our minds.

14. Group Meditation Retreat

Feeling: The space feels like a serene lake, where every ripple is a thought gently passing by.
About Self: I am a single breath, a moment of calm in the stillness of being.
About Others: They are the reflections, each one a mirror of inner peace.
About the Collective: We are the water, still and deep, a wellspring of collective tranquility.

15. Dance Troupe Rehearsal

Feeling: The dance feels like a conversation without words, where every movement speaks volumes.
About Self: I am a step, precise and meaningful, part of a larger rhythm.
About Others: They are the beats, guiding and responding to the flow of the dance.
About the Collective: We are the choreography, a living poem written in the language of motion.

16. Volunteering at a Shelter

Feeling: The work feels like planting hope in the hearts of those who have forgotten how to grow.
About Self: I am a ray of sunlight, bringing warmth and light to the shadows.
About Others: They are the roots, grounding and supporting those we serve.
About the Collective: We are the garden, where every act of kindness helps something beautiful to bloom.

17. Cross-Cultural Exchange Program

Feeling: The experience feels like a bridge, connecting lands and hearts across oceans of difference.
About Self: I am a step on this bridge, small but necessary to reach the other side.
About Others: They are the pillars, strong and stable, supporting our shared journey.
About the Collective: We are the bridge, spanning divides and bringing worlds closer together.

18. Group Hiking Adventure

Feeling: The trail feels like a journey through the soul, where every step is a heartbeat of discovery.
About Self: I am a footfall, steady and determined, climbing towards the peak.
About Others: They are the echoes, their presence felt in every turn and ascent.
About the Collective: We are the mountain, rising together, our spirits soaring with every new horizon.

19. Research Team Collaboration

Feeling: The lab feels like the edge of a new world, where every discovery is a step into the unknown.
About Self: I am a hypothesis, waiting to be tested and understood.
About Others: They are the data, each piece critical in shaping the truth.
About the Collective: We are the experiment, our combined efforts leading to the breakthrough that changes everything.

20. Building a Community Garden

Feeling: The garden feels like a promise of life, where every seed is a dream waiting to grow.
About Self: I am a gardener, my hands nurturing the earth with care and hope.
About Others: They are the rain and sun, providing what is needed for growth.
About the Collective: We are the harvest, a bountiful result of shared effort and love.

21. Writing a Collaborative Novel

Feeling: The story feels like a river, each word a ripple in the current of imagination.
About Self: I am a sentence, a single thought in the flow of narrative.
About Others: They are the tributaries, feeding and shaping the direction of the tale.
About the Collective: We are the river, carrying our readers on a journey through the landscapes of our minds.

22. Sailing in a Regatta

Feeling: The sea feels like a vast canvas, where every wave is a brushstroke of adventure.
About Self: I am the wind in the sails, propelling us towards the horizon.
About Others: They are the crew, each one vital in navigating the course.
About the Collective: We are the ship, strong and unified, charting a course through the unknown together.

23. Flash Mob Performance

Feeling: The dance feels like a sudden burst of joy, unexpected and contagious.
About Self: I am a beat in the music, a moment of pure expression.
About Others: They are the rhythm, guiding and amplifying the energy.
About the Collective: We are the dance, a spontaneous celebration of life and togetherness.

24. Group Debate

Feeling: The debate feels like a forge, where ideas are tempered and sharpened.
About Self: I am an argument, strong and clear, contributing to the heat of discussion.
About Others: They are the anvil, each one shaping and refining my thoughts.
About the Collective: We are the blade, cutting through confusion to reveal the sharp edge of truth.

25. Social Media Campaign for Change

Feeling: The campaign feels like a wildfire, spreading rapidly and igniting passions across the world.
About Self: I am a spark, igniting conversations and actions.
About Others: They are the fuel, each post and share adding to the blaze.
About the Collective: We are the fire, burning bright and fierce, consuming apathy and sparking change.

These metaphors capture the unique physical and mental feelings that arise from different forms of group collaboration, reflecting the magic of working together in diverse contexts.