A Friend Offered Me Five Rules in Trying to Convince or Persuade A Reluctant Listener.

The following Rules apply across all cultures .   OBT, James

Rule 1: Never directly challenge any statement made by the person you are trying to convince, educate, or opinion change. Such challenges set up mental defense mechanisms. Phrases such as “I hear you.” rather than “You are full of it.” tend to work better at getting people to eventually and actively listen to the truth. (Always remember that hearing is not listening; listening is not comprehending; seeing is not examining; touching is not feeling; tasting is not appreciating; learning is not understanding…and so forth.  Whether you are talking with an unruly child or a reluctant adult, it is useless to ask, “Are you listening to me?”  Of course they are listening…especially if you are shouting.  What they are not doing is comprehending or even trying to comprehend. Huge difference.

Rule 2:  Listen to what the person is saying, then ask questions seeking clarification.    You will acquire a long list of inconsistencies, holes, logically flawed beliefs. These

you will use later, either in the initial conversation or, if possible, in later conversations.

Rule 3:  Find out, beforehand if possible, what sources of information the person believes are reliable. Also, what sources of information the person believes are infallible (if any).  If you know what sources the person believes, then study those prior to the conversation.  If you do not, but rather discover what those sources are during the conversation, then ask to postpone further discussion until you have read the person’s trusted sources. This has several good effects, such as showing respect for the person’s opinions and sources (NOTE: “respect”, not “agreement”). More importantly, such knowledge will provide you with the keys to that person’s mental stockade.

Rule 4.  Having accomplished 1 through 3 above…Use the person’s own statements and sources against them in a casual, friendly manner. This frequently opens a slight crack in the mental armor that allows you access to the person’s shielded brain.  Once you have access, then you can gently insinuate simple, non-threatening thoughts and ideas that do not directly attack the person’s beliefs, but which rather causes that person to internally begin to question their beliefs.

Rule 5.  Don’t expect to convert anyone instantly…not during the first discussion nor any subsequent discussions with that person. Conversion of a fixed, inflexible mind must come from inside that mind. You must plant a seed inside that mind and water it, feed it, and let it grow all by itself.  Conversion takes time and patience.

Same Friend Offered Me A Beautiful Essay On “BE”

“BE” by James Luce

Life is a unidirectional path with lots of curves and bumps

Life is crowded road where you will encounter a lot of grumps

Yet it’s amazing what can happen when you say “Can I assist ?”

Holding out a helping hand is always better than an angry fist

Don’t be the Grinch, rather strive to be one of those Forrest Gumps

Be the kind of person that you’d want everyone to be

Be the kind of person who puts “Others” ahead of “Me”

Be the kind of person who is held in great respect

Be the kind of person who does not ignore or neglect

Be the kind of person who bounces babies on their knee

Be the kind of person who helps out another in a bind

Be the kind of person who’s of a gentle state of mind

Be the kind of person who lends his eyes to the blind

Be most of all and forever be a person who is kind.