Friendship and Compassion

~ Billy

STEPHEN LEE CONTINUES TO EXPLORE DIFFERENT CHARTS –

From: “Mindfulness Turns A Brain from Antagony to Compassion” to “Self-assessment For Personal Growth in Good Citizenship”, to adding “Four Levels of Friendship” to the above.   May 2023

It occurred to me after creating the two-dimensional and four-quadrant chart in my last posting on How to Turn Fear to Compassion, that there is an interpretation for the number inside each small box of the chart.

An obvious interpretation is a score of Fear vs Compassion, ranging from -8 to +8.

Let’s explore the following definition:

Good Citizenship = Unselfishness + Understanding of the Needs of Others

Poor Citizenship = Selfishness + Suspicion of the Intention of Others

Then we can interpret the numbers in each small block of the chart as a Score of Good or Poor Citizenship. In this perspective, the words in the lower left quadrant should be revised to describe poor citizenship. The new chart is as follows.

A score of zero may be described as an Indifferent citizen. A score of 1 – 2 may be described as a citizen with Pity for others. A score of 3 – 4 as one with Sympathy, 5 – 6 as one with Empathy, and 7 – 8 as one with Compassion.

On the score of Poor Citizenship, the adjectives to describe the different levels may be Passive, Cautious, Resentful, and Antagonistic?

Citizenship Score (-8 to +8)

If a social score (from -8 to +8) is self-awarded to a person after a mindful act self-assessed with a Citizenship Score, it would be informative to self-ask how he or she would rate his or her level of Selfishness to Unselfishness, from -4 to +4. This is of course a subjective and qualitative self evaluation, but over time, the self assessment will still provide a valuable indicator of self improvement.

Then the two numbers, the social score and the self rating of Unselfishness, would be two useful statistics. They can be also visualized as statistical distributions or a statistical mean value of the person doing the self assessment or for a group of people if the data are collected for people in different groups, socially or culturally. If both the social score and the self-assessed Unselfish index for a population are plotted as a statistical distribution on top of the chart, as shown in the following chart, for two different years, the improvement would be noticeable.

This approach would also be used for comparing different groups of people over the same year of study, for example, to see if culture makes a difference.

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A NEW CHART EXTENDING COMPASSION INTO FOUR LEVELS OF FRIENDSHIP.

Acquaintance

Friends

Close Friends, and

Bonded Friends   ( This last one is akin to the Chinese male bonding of Yi Qi )

CONTINUING THEIR COLLECTIVE FUN & CREATIVE EXPLORATIONS – STEPHEN LEE CAME UP WITH SOME AMAZING GRAPHICS

~ Billy

April 2023 Stephen Lee sent to Billy and James:

Billy to Stephen, and James:

Just realized that the ARROWS Stephen introduced in the charts are truly essential to our research Why they move in a certain direction to start with ?  What triggers ? What encourages ? Why slow down, stop, or turn around.?  Even turn around again ?  How can that be facilitated etc. etc. etc. ?

Stephen to Billy and James:

The attached picture is my answer to Bill today about the different steps to change my own behavior from antagonistic to compassionate. I suppose there are other ways to get there

James Luce to Stephen and Billy:

Not sure that Antagonistic is the correct word in this context.

Billy to Stephen:

Your Graphic is Fabulous. You are basically a Good Person with A Good Conscience, Stephen. Some people lack a Good Conscience. Yes,how can we build Good Conscience ?

May I suggest that you illuminate more about the ARROWs you showed in your earlier chart ?  Each directive arrow may represent first One’s Conscience, then Mindfulness, Reflection, and Commitment – all your words ?

Come up again with some amazing Stephen Lee graphics !

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Different drinks like Tea, Beer, Or Wine create different Modes of Friendship? Billy’s question answered by Chat-CPT – Photos from Google

~ Billy

It’s true that different drinks can create different modes of friendship. For example, sharing a cup of tea can create a cozy and intimate atmosphere, while sharing a beer or a glass of wine can create a more relaxed and social vibe.

Tea has been associated with more formal or refined social settings, such as afternoon tea parties or business meetings. It’s also a common drink for close friends or family members to share during intimate conversations or catch-ups.

Beer, on the other hand, is often associated with casual and laid-back social gatherings, such as sporting events or parties. It’s a popular drink for friends to enjoy while hanging out and having a good time.

Wine is often considered a more sophisticated drink, associated with fine dining and formal events. Sharing a bottle of wine can create a sense of intimacy and relaxation, making it a popular choice for romantic dates or dinner parties with close friends.

Of course, these associations can vary depending on cultural and personal preferences. Ultimately, it’s the company and the context in which the drink is consumed that creates the mode of friendship.

Happy group of Latin American friends toasting with beer.

Pouring tea for a Friend is part of the engagement. 

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Deepening Friendship and Bonding, Pursuing FUN & CREATIVE Ideas Together. Compassion vs Fear

~ Billy

Three Friends: Bill or Billy ( an Architect ), James ( a lawyer ), and Stephen ( an Electrical Engineer ), were having fun lately – playing psychologists and seeking Truth and Meaning about COMPASSION.

Below is a report by Stephen which illustrates their recent collective FUN & CREATIVE Pursuit.

Mindfulness Turns Fear to Compassion

The following four Charts were built on ideas and works of three friends. More immediately, some of the ideas came from my friends Bill Lee and James Luce, and I simply internalized them with my personal philosophy to combine the two charts into one. This figure shows the two original charts. The upper right one came from Bill’s readings on Compassion. The lower left chart was created by James at the request of Bill.

I recognized that both charts have two axes and that if the value of the horizontal axis of one chart is rephrased to be the opposite of the value of the other horizontal axis, then both charts become connected. The same reasoning suggests that the two vertical axes can also be rephrased so that the two charts can be interpreted as a single chart. This thought results in the following chart. The horizontal axis ranges from High Feeling of Threat to You, to Low Feeling of Threat to You, and then crosses over the vertical axis to Low Feeling of Needs from You, and then to High Feeling of Needs from You.

The vertical axis ranges from High degree of Selfishness from the bottom of the chart to High degree of Unselfishness at the top of the chart. Then a color scale is painted on each little square of the chart to start from Red to represent an extreme feeling of threat and selfishness which causes the primitive reptilian brain in humans to attack out of fear and survival instinct. The color changes towards the Green color representing compassion at the upper right corner of the chart.

Then the second chart was created by adding three application cases to illustrate how Mindfulness can help a person to modify the reflex instinct of fear and survival towards the humanistic behavior is controllable by the more evolved human brain which can make reasoned decisions according to our personal values which take into account our tradeoffs between the self and others, as well as our often-flawed instinctive awareness of the intention of the other person.

The final chart adds a fourth case to the examples. It was an actual experience yesterday while traveling in an airplane.

April 12, 2023

Stephen Lee

Reflection

Compassion, Fear, Mindfulness

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“Are there Parallels Between The Art of Cooking And The Art of Building Friendship?” Chat GPT Replied to Billy’s Question:

~ Billy

Here’s what Chat GPT spit out – March 22, 2023

Yes, there are parallels between the art of cooking and the art of building friendships. Both require a certain level of creativity, patience, and practice to succeed. Here are some examples:

  1. Creativity: Just as chefs use their creativity to create unique and delicious dishes, friends can use their creativity to find new and interesting ways to spend time together, such as trying out new activities or exploring new places.
  2. Patience: Cooking and building friendships both require patience. Just as a chef must wait for a dish to cook to perfection, friends must be patient and invest time and effort to build and nurture their relationships.
  3. Practice: Both cooking and building friendships require practice to improve and refine one’s skills. Just as a chef must practice their cooking techniques and recipes to perfect their craft, friends must practice their communication and social skills to build strong relationships.
  4. Balance: In cooking, the right balance of ingredients is crucial to create a harmonious dish. Similarly, in building friendships, the right balance of effort and time is essential to maintain a healthy and balanced relationship.
  5. Communication: Communication is vital in both cooking and building friendships. Chefs must communicate with their team to create the perfect dish, while friends must communicate their thoughts and feelings to build trust and understanding.
  6. Trust: Just as diners trust chefs to create delicious and safe food, friends need to trust each other to be honest, supportive, and reliable.

In conclusion, the art of cooking and the art of building friendships share many similarities. Both require creativity, patience, practice, balance, communication, and trust to succeed. By nurturing these qualities, we can create delicious meals, strong relationships, and lasting friendships.

 Billy’s Comments: My next question may be: ,”How to make a Friendship Stew?” ___________________________________________________