by jgl – 12 July 2022

The Universe is totally orderly. It’s ruled by the laws of physics…many of which we know,

even though many of the details remain a mystery. One of these basic laws is entropy…in nature all systems break down. That is the natural order of things. It’s a plodding, predictable process. The explosion of a supernova may look chaotic, but it isn’t. However, a human sitting quietly on a chair is a seething cauldron of contradictory, living, biochemical activity in contrast to the comparatively sedate, inanimate supernova.

          Life is chaos. Life is the only disorderly system in the universe.  It actively fights against entropy. Take our immune system, for instance. Life tries to repair itself.  Life also actively tries to replicate itself with thousands of genes per species genome. Volcanoes, tectonic plates, solar flares, and galaxies do not try to either repair or replicate themselves.  They simply disintegrate without complaint.

          Living organisms comprise an infinitesimally tiny percentage of the mass of the Universe and contain perhaps even a smaller percentage of the energy of the universe.  If the mass and energy of living organisms on Earth were spread out uniformly even in just our tiny solar system, they would be undetectable…unlike those distant, cold asteroids in the Kuiper Belt. Thus, we have no idea how common life may be in the universe. All we do know is that there doesn’t seem to be any lurking around us anywhere within many light years .

          These observations help us understand why our lives, towns, countries, and cultures are so desperately chaotic.  The most chaotic substance in our solar system is packed into a space that’s 36 billion times smaller than our solar system and 330,000 times smaller even than our Sun.

            Let us not wonder why our lives and cultures are such a living mess. Let’s just all be very glad that they aren’t worse. Better yet, encourage the only three elements in our natures that can turn down the chaos…Empathy, Reason, and Humanism.  All other human mental processes add substantially to the chaos. Do not do unto your neighbors that which you would want done unto yourself. Rather, do unto your neighbors that which they would want done unto themselves.  This caveat does not apply, of course, if your neighbor is a masochist or psychopath or is otherwise mentally befuddled. Then you must apply Empathy, Reason, and Humanism to determine what is best for that person. If you’re not sure… don’t do anything. As Hippocrates said: “The first principle is to do no harm”.

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BILLY’S NOTES :

I deeply appreciate this “Cup of Wisdom” from my dear friend “jgl”. We basically think alike. While I promote “BE NICE ME. NO HURT EACH OTHER”. (See recent post: “TWO PLUS YEARS OF FRIENDSHIPOLOGY – WHAT HAVE I LEARNED?”), he quotes Hippocrates’ “THE FIRST PRINCIPLE IS TO DO NO HARM.” CHEERS !

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By Billy Lee – July 2022

Be Nice Me,  for I really like to be Your Friend.

Be Nice Me,  for you surely want me to Be Nice You.

Teachers teach us to Be Nice to Each Other, to Everyone, even Those who aren’t nice

I will Be Nice You, for  I really like to be Your Friend.

Don’t hurt me, for it hurts when you take my toys and sometimes break them.

It really hurts when you ignore me or tell me that I’m no good.

It takes away all Trust when you tell others lies about me.

Please don’t force me to dislike someone else who actually has been nice to me.

Be Nice Me for we can share Joy & Fun.

Be Nice Me,  for we can build sandcastles together, and we can paint together and give our best drawings to please our grandmothers or Nai Nais.

Cheers !  Let’s All Just Be Nice.

NOT TO JUDGE OTHERS ABSOLUTELY
By Billy Lee – Feb. 2022

A recent post, “ It Takes Character To Apologize After 70+ Years” taught me a lesson and made me feeling more Hopeful & Encouraged. Yes, we have all made mistakes , but mistakes can be corrected. Feelings may have been hurt, but Good Feelings can be reinstated. Recognizing one’s own mistakes comes with experience and learning – sometimes enlightened by other people we trust. To apologize and offer amends shows maturity and indeed wisdom. Carrying a deep sense of guilt for any length of time is burdensome – not possibly enjoyable.

Sometimes we have hurt people without knowing so. Sometimes even good intentions bring unintended and not very good results. Often we react too quickly and most of the time we don’t take time to choose the most appropriate way to respond.

Two weeks ago, as my two adult sons came to dinner, I learned from them something unbelievable about myself. “ Dad, you were really blunt and demeaning to your Architectural assistants, when you had your practice at home. We heard it all. It wasn’t just once or twice ! “

Wow, I couldn’t believe that I was so unkind, but I could not deny that I had reprimanded the young assistants often and emphatically to drill deep my complaints. I had yelled “Stupid ! Have you no brains ?” Truly, I thought I was doing them a favor, but I did not do it the right way. Truly, I did not intend to hurt them, but I should have realized that the way I treated them was insensitive and inconsiderate. It could have hurt deeply as my two adult sons now assured me. I truly need to apologize to my young assistants – sincerely, most regrettably – belately – now after 30+ years.

I have been on the receiving side myself. My French teacher had called me, “Impossible ! Imbecile !” in front of the class. My mother had given me “Chestnut strikes” on my head how many times I don’t remember. Certain schoolmates had taunted me because I was Chinese and I was skinny with yellow skin. Fortunately, I am not a grudgingly sensitive person. I never considered myself a victim, and I found wonderful qualities from the same people after we got to know each other better.
Being kind of naïve is my real blessing. Forgiveness just comes naturally for me. It has served me well. Indeed, in today’s world we really need more tolerance and forgiveness. Apologies are not effective if the other side is not willing to forgive. Apologies surely will not be accepted if there is no trust in its sincerity.

Indeed, I must thank my nurse maid who told me about Guan Yin (觀音) , the Goddess of Mercy , when I was a child in China.

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10″ DOS” reach out & Be A Friend         交好友的十条

Be joyful & encouraging                  要快乐和鼓舞

Be trustworthy & reliable                 要忠诚和信赖

Be open & tolerant                      要坦诚和容忍

Be patient & calm                      要耐心和平静

Be considerate & respectful              要理解和尊重

Be humble & willing to apologize          要谦恭和乐于抱歉

Be caring & engaging                    要关心和奉献

Be sincere & loyal                      要真诚和忠心

Be smart but also kind                  要精明和和蔼

Be generous ,unselfish, & willing to forgive  要宽宏大量和无私, 多原谅

10 “DON’TS” stirring up fear, suspicion, anger, & resentment  交友应避免的十条

DON’T be indifferent, passive & not caring          不要不感兴趣，被动和不关心

DON’T be self-righteous, arrogant & demeaning     不要狂妄自大 和 贬低, 贬损

DON’T be disrespectful and inflexible              不要不尊重和固执

DON’T be humorous while hurting other’s pride    不要因幽默而损害他人的自尊

DON’T be a bully  (only feared but never loved)       不要 恃强凌弱 以大欺小

DON’T be carelessly critical & insulting             不要漫不经心的批评和侮辱

DON’T be pretentious or cynical                  不要自命不凡和冷嘲热讽

DON’T expect others to change instantly         不要期望他人即刻改变

DON’T expect others to agree on everything      不要期望他人同意所有的事情

DON’T let a small difference turn into hatred   不要因一点小小的分歧而变为憎恨

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TAKES CHARACTER TO APOLOGISE AFTER 70+ YEARS- by Billy Lee – Feb. 2022

Classmate George wrote to fellow classmate Walter::

Dear Walter,
Billy copied me on your email information about Andover’s motto: “NON SIBI”.                                  I Ihave lived since Andover with the guilt of my reprehensible behavior Lower year in Salisbury house. Thanks to Billy, I have a chance to apologize. No excuses! I’m sure Suds would join me.

We were so full of ourselves, there was little room on several occasions, to act in what became and was and is, civil and friendly behavior. I’ve lived with the guilt ever since.
Your story parallels the history of other classmates. Believe it or not, I’m a published author as of 2015, a far cry from my interest back then.
I understand completely the reason we have lost contact. I hope it’s not too late to make amends.
I’m attaching “Some Enchanted Afternoon”. We are living in Essex, Ct.
                                                Sincerely,
                                                  George

Walter replied:

Dear George:  Your memory is better than mine. I remember there was something in Salisbury House, but that’s all: details rubbed away. 
I do remember that Bob Thompson lived across the hall from me that year at Andover; for many of the years I’ve been at Yale, he was master of Tim. Dwight College, one block away from my house. Our paths very occasionally crossed. RIP. You can catch up with me in Wikipedia.  No amends needed.

Best regards,  Walter

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