HELPFUL KNOWLEDGE FOR FRIENDSHIPOLOGY

discovered by Billy – November 2022

Some Social Rules That May Help You:

Loving and Amazing World  Posted by Dasha Tara –Updated Oct 18

1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to;

2. Return money that you have borrowed even before the person that borrowed you remember or ask for it. It shows your integrity and character. The same goes for umbrellas, pens, and lunch boxes.

3. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is giving you lunch/dinner.

4. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids’ or ‘Why didn’t you buy a house?’ Or why don’t you buy a car? For God’s sake it isn’t your problem;

5. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public;

6. If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time;

7. Respect different shades of opinions. Remember what’s 6 to you will appear 9 to someone facing you. Besides, a second opinion is good for an alternative;

8. Never interrupt people talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all;

9. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again. It encourages one to do more and it shows how appreciative you’re;

10. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.

11. Praise publicly. Criticize privately;

12. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will;

13. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next;

14. If a colleague tells you they have a doctor’s appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say “I hope you’re okay”. Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you about their personal illness. If they want you to know, they’ll do so without your inquisitiveness;

15. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rude you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect;

16. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude;

17. Never give advice until you’re asked;

18. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age and salary;

19. Mind your business unless anything involves you directly – just stay out of it;

20. Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. Moreso, eye contact is as important as your speech; and

21. Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don’t talk about your children in the midst of the barren.

22. Always remember to show APPRECIATION

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CHALLENGING EACH OTHER IN FRIENDSHIP

Billy learns from the side.

No cheating. Win or lose enjoy the togetherness and the Tics & Tacs.

Billy has two SPECIAL FRIENDS, James and Stephen, who seem to enjoy challenging each other intellectually via emails. See their latest correspondence below.

James:

Hello Stephen,

We have no way to know whether the human brain has risen above nature.  Porpoises may be more intelligent…they just do not have opposable thumbs with which to build weapons.  There may be thousands of more intelligent species somewhere off Earth.  It may be that our brains are not above nature at all…rather they may be a cancer on nature. 

Function does not, in my view, require purpose…only output. 

I just enjoy the meanderings of my brain and the compatible meanderings of those whom I count as friends. That’s plenty enough for me.  

Your friend, James

Stephen:

James,

You have exposed me to many ideas and knowledge and brought me along on my personal quest.

Two minds crossing paths in 1990s and lately in 2020s are not coincidental only in my sentiment. It is happier to think that there is a purpose as well as an output, or so I imagine and prefer. 

Cheers to our friendship!

Stephen

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Billy’s Observation:

Ultimately it’s the FRIENDSHIP we all value.

FRIENDSHIP AT U.S.-China People’s Friendship Association      

By Billy Lee – Member of USCPFA-South Bay – October 2022 

Started with Joining & Connecting with Hope.

Hope for simply forming Mutual Good Feelings.

Affection grew with Goodwill and Good Efforts.

Trust developed from mini collaborations.

Working together proved much more Meaningful.

Bonding became evermore Enduring.

Real Friendship has its Magic.

Hope, Trust, and Dedication for the Long Term .

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Lived by Love. –  from  Rick Hanson, PhD    

news@rickson.netcopied by Billy October, 2020


Explicitly, this practice means coming from love in a broad sense – from compassion, good intentions, self-control, warmth, finding what to like, caring, connecting, and kindness.

Implicitly and more fundamentally, this practice means a relaxed opening into the love – in a very very broad sense – that is the actual nature of everything.

Be a Friend – Live by Love – Billy Learned

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SINCERE APOLOGIES to GAGE AND LEXI           from Yeh Yeh

By Billy Lee  October 4, 2022

Dear Gage and Lexi,

I owe you a BIG APOLOGY. I sincerely apologize for THE WAY I YELLED at you

last week when you placed your feet on the dining table. I did not need to get ANGRY.

I should not have yelled like a BULLY.  I was inconsiderate, unthoughtful, unwise, and

need to correct such improper quick eruptions. I better try to learn more from Nai Nai on

how to be a more LOVING Grand Parent.

I do care about you kids deeply and look forward to your coming to dinner again soon.

Love, Yeh Yeh

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Billy’s Reflection:

After I emailed this letter above, I felt really good – really happy that I was able to

Apologize Graciously.  I think I learned to do this from my Andover-Yale Classmate,

George Rider, who recently wrote a gracious letter to apologize to another old

Classmate after 70 years.  Apologies definitely release much stress, guilt, and

shame. Hopefully, it will patch up good feelings afterward.

I also wondered how we can best control our uncalled-for ERUPTIONS and UPSETS.

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