My FF Fraternity’s Chinese name is LAN SHI meaning: ” A GATHERING OF ORCHIDS ” “Why are orchids considered so precious in Chinese Culture? Please give some historic background or significant stories we all should know about orchids.” – Billy Lee  June 15, 2025

CHATGPT : Orchids are deeply revered in Chinese culture, not only for their delicate beauty and fragrance but also for the profound symbolic meanings they have carried for over two millennia. They are one of the “Four Gentlemen” (四君子) in Chinese art and philosophy—alongside bamboo, chrysanthemum, and plum blossom—each representing noble virtues admired in scholars and moral individuals.


🌸 Why Orchids Are So Precious in Chinese Culture:

1. Symbol of Virtue and Integrity

  • Orchids symbolize purity, humility, and elegance. They often grow in secluded valleys and emit fragrance even when no one is around to admire them, representing people of high moral character who do good without seeking recognition.

2. Confucius’ Praise

  • Confucius (孔子), the great philosopher, is one of the earliest known admirers of orchids. He famously said:

“The orchid grows in the solitude of the forest and does not lose its fragrance. The virtuous person maintains his integrity even in difficult times.”
(“兰生于深林,不以无人而不芳。”)

  • He used orchids to describe noble friendship and virtue. To Confucius, being with good people was like walking into a room full of orchids—quiet, refined, and morally uplifting.

3. Taoist and Poetic Reverence

  • In Taoist thought, orchids represent natural harmony, simplicity, and spiritual growth.
  • Many ancient poets like Tao Yuanming (陶渊明) and Qu Yuan (屈原) praised orchids in their verses. Qu Yuan, a patriotic poet from the Warring States Period, often used the orchid as a metaphor for loyalty and unwavering principles in the face of political corruption.

📜 Historic Stories and Associations

1. Qu Yuan and the Orchid

  • In his poem Li Sao (离骚), Qu Yuan repeatedly mentions orchids:

“I wore fragrant orchids to show my innocence.”

  • This use of the orchid became a powerful metaphor for moral resistance and inner purity, especially under unjust governments.

2. The Orchid Pavilion Gathering (兰亭集会)

  • In 353 AD, a famous literary event occurred at the Orchid Pavilion (Lanting), organized by Wang Xizhi, the master calligrapher. He and his scholar friends gathered to drink wine and compose poetry. His masterpiece, the Preface to the Poems Composed at the Orchid Pavilion (兰亭序), is one of the greatest works in Chinese calligraphy.
  • The gathering symbolized harmony with nature, friendship, the fleetingness of life, and cultured elegance—all associated with the orchid.

🖌 In Chinese Painting and Calligraphy

  • Orchids are a favorite subject of ink brush painting, especially in literati art. Their graceful leaves and blossoms are challenging to paint, requiring sensitivity and control.
  • Painting orchids became a practice in self-cultivation, reflecting the painter’s spirit and ethical temperament.

🎎 Cultural Symbolism

Symbolic MeaningExplanation
Nobility & MoralityReflects upright character, like a noble person in seclusion.
FriendshipGentle, unselfish, sincere—often used in poetry about ideal companions.
Modesty & BeautyNot flamboyant, but quietly beautiful and enduring.
LoyaltyEspecially when facing adversity, as shown in Qu Yuan’s poetry.

🌿 Summary

The orchid in Chinese culture is much more than a flower—it is a moral and aesthetic ideal. It represents a person who is refined, loyal, modest, and virtuous, even when unrecognized or isolated. From Confucius to calligraphers, from ancient poets to modern admirers, orchids have remained a timeless symbol of inner strength and quiet beauty.


🌸 “The Orchid and the Empty Valley”

A Story of Quiet Strength and True Character

Once upon a time in ancient China,

in the misty folds of the southern mountains, there was a deep, hidden valley. The valley was quiet and untouched, far from the noise of kingdoms and courts. In this lonely place, a single orchid bloomed.

It was not large or brightly colored. No passerby ever came to admire it. Yet every morning, it released a delicate fragrance into the cool mountain air, as if the forest itself were being blessed by its presence.

In a nearby town, a proud young scholar named Liang was preparing for the imperial exams. He dressed finely, spoke loudly, and made sure everyone saw how hard he worked and how clever he was. “Greatness must be seen to be known,” he would often boast.

One day, Liang passed through the forest on his way to a temple to pray for success. As he climbed the mountain path, he caught the faint scent of something unusual—soft and sweet. Curious, he followed the trail until he came upon the orchid blooming quietly between two rocks.

He frowned. “Such beauty, and no one here to witness it? What a waste.”

An old hermit, who had been watching from nearby, stepped out of the trees.

“Why do you think beauty must be seen to be real?” the hermit asked.

Liang replied, “Because what is not seen or praised might as well not exist.”

The hermit smiled and said, “Then you have not yet understood the orchid.”

He sat down beside it and continued:

“This flower blooms for no reward. Its fragrance fills the air whether a thousand admire it or no one at all. It is like the noble person, who remains kind and true even in loneliness. That is the strength of real character.”

The scholar was quiet for a moment.

He returned to town, and over the next months, his pride softened. He began helping others with their studies, even those who might do better than him. He stopped boasting and began reflecting. His words became fewer—but truer.

When the day of the imperial exam came, he passed with high honors. Yet when asked how he had achieved such success, Liang simply smiled and said:

“I once met a flower that bloomed in an empty valley and taught me the value of unseen goodness.”


🌱 Moral:

True character doesn’t need applause.
Like the orchid in the mountains, goodness is real—even in silence.


🌿 “The Gathering of Orchids”

A Story of Solitude, Fellowship, and Inner Light

Long ago in the Kingdom of Chu, there lived two orchids—one grew alone high in the cliffs, the other in a grove with many others near a quiet stream.

The Lone Orchid, known as Lan, was proud of her solitude.

“I bloom in silence, untouched by weeds or shallow praise,” she whispered to the wind.
“I do not need others to shine. My fragrance rises on the mountain air.”

Down in the valley, the Orchid Grove swayed together in the breeze. They laughed in the sunlight, caught morning dew together, and shared the shade of a willow tree.

One day, a great drought came. The mountains dried up. Streams vanished. Lan, the lone orchid, held on as long as she could. But the rocky cliffs offered no water, no cover from the heat, and no one to lean on.

In the valley below, the orchid grove suffered too—but they protected one another. The outer flowers shielded the younger ones from the sun. The roots tangled together underground, sharing moisture and strength. When rain finally came, most of the grove survived.

A few days later, a poet named Ziqi came to the mountain. He found the withered stem of Lan and a single petal still fragrant. He placed it in his scroll and sighed.

“How noble she was… but how lonely.”

Then he walked down to the valley and sat beside the living orchid grove. As the breeze carried their sweet scent, he began to write:

“One orchid may inspire,
But many orchids bring peace.
Alone, they show character.
Together, they create a garden of grace.”


🧠 Cultural Reflection:

Individual OrchidOrchid Grove
Symbol of personal virtueSymbol of community and harmony
Like the noble recluse (隐士) or upright official who resists corruptionLike the ideal Confucian society where good people support one another
Represents strength in solitudeRepresents strength in unity
Praised by poets like Qu Yuan for integrity under pressureCelebrated by Confucians for shared moral cultivation

🌸 Message for Teens:

  • It’s good to be strong and true on your own, like the orchid that blooms even in silence.
  • But don’t be afraid to join a community of others who also seek goodness.
  • Real strength is not just standing tall—but standing with others.
  • _______________________________________________________________________
  •  
    • PHOTOS OF DIFFERENT KINDS OFORCHIDS

FRIENDSHIP & COMMUNITY by

劉可強 Prof. John KC Liu  – June  15, 2025 – Taiwan, ROC

Re. This assignment 😜

Friendship and Community

A real, live and healthy community is most often not always harmonious and peaceful. There are fights and differences as in any family, competition for scarce resources such as bickering over funding for school lunches vs. elderly meals, spatial disputes among neighbors over parking spots and garbage disposal, presence of strangers and troublemakers requiring official intervention, etc. All these are normal aspects of a community. So, what is the role of friendship in a community? Resolving disputes requires mutual trust, arbitrating over limited resources requires reciprocity, mediating among different characters requires empathy.

Story:

An empty neighborhood site surrounded by various groups of residents with different cultural backgrounds became a garbage dump since the community was unable to agree on a plan for a neighborhood park. Something had gone wrong, and this community had become stagnant and unhealthy. 

The source of the problem was that different factions of the community were not speaking to each other. Older people, because they came from different cultural backgrounds, were set in their ways and reluctant to engage other people in the community. Young people, while they do make friends with fellow classmates of different backgrounds, most often they keep to their own cultural circle away from school. The issue is how to transcend cultural boundaries and encourage interaction and friendship among both adults and young people in order to jointly face the problem with the garbage dump site.

A neighborhood participatory design workshop was conducted wherein young people of the community played a key role in bringing different factions of the community together. Two particular activities are notable.  The first is to find common values about the environment. When people of different backgrounds were asked about what they liked and what they disliked about the neighborhood, most of them pretty much agreed on what’s good and what’s not so good. By presenting the results of this survey back to them, they were surprised by how much they have in common. That is, about the environment, they shared the same values. This was an important first step in engaging the different factions in speaking to each other and to appreciating each other’s values. This was the beginning of friendship among neighbors who had not talked to each other before.

The second activity was to engage young people in planning a new park for the site. Design teams composed of young people from different backgrounds came up with designs for the park and one was chosen by all those who participated to be implemented. For the first time young people of this community felt they could come together and collaborated on a common project and see it through to completion. In the process they formed strong bonds with each other. This helped enormously with the community self-management of the park, including resolving disputes, mediating conflicts, organizing maintenance, etc… in short, through bonding and the friendships that were developed over the course of jointly facing the issue of the garbage site, the community has reversed its stagnancy and began to return to a healthy and vibrant neighborhood.

This is a story of a concrete example of how friendship building is central to making healthy communities,

John

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MR. YIHUA XU’s RESPONSE TO  STERLING HARWOOD”S ‘The DARK SIDE OF FRIENDSAHIP’– June 11. 2025

I’ve finished reading the latest post for several times to make sure I grasped the idea.

It is indeed a much darker piece, and I see the different “layers” or “aspects” of “friendship” it conveys. And I agree with Harwood’s statement:

“Relying on mere friendship to get us out of this mess is, as a piece of friendly advice from me to you, naïvely and overly optimistic in a way that brings us right back to the critical thinking of Voltaire’s Candide. “

I’m an engineer and engineers have this habit of looking at or analyzing things in a more “cold blooded” scientific or “data driven” way.

Thus I look at this humanly term “friendship” in a way that — it is just a mutual emotional “deposit” and “withdrawal” interactions and dynamics between two human beings (or animals). It is part of the evolution to ensure the bigger goal of the entire species — whichever species evolve to have the least selfish or destructive behavior; it is more likely to survive long on earth.

Whenever we show kindness or help someone, it is a gesture of “depositing” something good into that person’s mind; whenever we do something bad to someone, it is also a gesture of “depositing” something bad into that person’s mind.

Humans (or more broadly, animals) are “mirrors” to each other — when someone did something good to me, I feel the need to pay him back; when someone did something bad to me, I want him pay too.

This comes (or evolved) no surprise, because this mirroring “Tit-for-tat” (or “deposit/withdraw”) behavior is actually the best strategy according to the Game Theory:

With this mental model set, we could now easily explain all the possible combinations or dynamics between all these layers or aspects or interactions in “friendship” — with some simple idea also brought from banking/economy:

Imagine there are A & B,

A continuously deposits lots of good things (love, money, education) into B;

Imagine B is the “bank” of A; Could A _not_ expect any return from B but just pure “investment”?

And if A _is_ in the end expecting some return, what is his expected “interest rate” or “ROI / Return On Investment”?

Is this expected “return” from A aligned with B’s or B’s capability to *deliver* that level of return?


Should B return less (lower interest rates) or pause returning when he is in more difficult situations — is that reasonable?

Should B return more when he is more capable, and in another tit-for-tac, A should also invest more? How much is “more”?

If B somehow not returning (or simply not able to return) “enough” according to A, was A exploited? Or Should A feel exploited?…

We could easy ask tons of questions and quickly they would just cover all the “aspects” or “layers” of “friendship”.

Just like the central bank raising or lowering “interest rates” — As Warren Buffet once said: “interest rates are like gravity”, during this mutual deposit-withdrawal, tit-for-tac interactions between human beings, the “interest rates” and the expected vs. actual acts like gravity curves the spacetime between A & B, this determined whether this “relationship” or “friendship” is a healthy one like the moon orbiting the earth, planets orbiting the sun; or collide and collapsed into a black hole.

On the other hand, with regards to the topic of God and time — I’m not religious despite my parents believe in Buddha 🙂 — I’m long fascinated by Einstein’s theory of relativity, which suggests that time is not a linear progression but rather a dimension of spacetime, implying that the past, present, and future exist simultaneously.

For example: when right here right now we stare deep into the night sky, we are actually seeing the “past” of many stars, their dying lights are just able to reach into our eyes after so long a journey in the universe or spacetime. And there are all the fancy phenomena about time dilation when objects speed up…

Hope all these fun thinking brings some amusement to you. Have a nice day!

Best,

Yihua ( From Beijing – June 11, 2025 )

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BILLY’s RESPONSE to YIHUA’s LETTER:

To me, YIHUA, you have been, most caring, kind, helpful, and “TOTALLY WARM BLOODED “

Cheers  with warm affection always,

Billy – June 11, 2025

__________________________________________________________

The Dark Side of Friendship© 2025 by Sterling Harwood, J.D., Ph.D.

“The wicked have only accomplices, the voluptuous have only companions in debauchery; self-seekers have only associates; politicians have only their factions; the generality of idle men has only connections; princes have only courtiers; virtuous men alone possess friends.” ~ Voltaire, The Philosophical Dictionary , last visited May 26, 2025. Voltaire certainly makes several good distinctions above, and he makes friendship sound so virtuous, how could I reasonably disagree with the likes of Voltaire? One of the nicer features of Philosophy, however, is its insistence that even the best philosophers – or philosophes, if you prefer that label for Voltaire – can and do make mistakes. Voltaire himself rightly poked fun at the great philosopher Leibniz by using the character Dr. Pangloss, who glossed over all the world’s ills with the motto and implication of his philosophy of religion that we live in the best of all possible worlds. After all, in traditional Western thought of Leibniz’s day and beyond, God is the perfect father who created the world and God is omniscient, omnipotent, and morally perfect – a loving God. Millions proclaim: “Jesus, he’s my friend” and “You’ve got a friend in Jesus.”


What could possibly go wrong with this sunny picture? First up is Butch Hancock, who said: ““Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you’re going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.” https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/508980-life-in-lubbock-texas-taught-me-two-things-one-is, last visited May 26, 2025.


Millions or even billions fear God and even point to their fear as a source of pride: “I’m a God-fearing Christian.” I ask: “Is it consistent to fear the perfect man?” Why wouldn’t you trust the perfect man, who is your friend, to be at least fair and in all likelihood merciful and forgiving. Allowing or even causing the teeming billions of the Lord’s creations and friends to burn in hell forever surely seems strictly out of bounds.


This is a version of the so-called problem of evil. Theodicy is the field devoted to explaining away the problem of evil. One way is to say we are just in a test and those who pass the test get to go to heaven instead of roasting forever in hell. Why an omniscient being like God needs a test to get results is left unexplained? Some suggest free will is involved, specifically, that God loves us so much that he gave us a fair opportunity to earn a ticket to hell, and without warning us in the clearest of terms possible for an omnipotent being that such a fate awaits many or even almost all of us.


But let’s bring things back to earth. Next up in our list of witnesses is Jennifer Willoughby. She describes her experience, which I find eminently believable. Believe the women, some urge. So, let us at least try to do so. Here’s her story in a moving nutshell, the nub of her gist.


“[H]e could be kind and sensitive. And so I stayed. He cried and apologized. And so I stayed. He offered to get help and even went to a few counseling sessions and therapy groups. And so I stayed. He belittled my intelligence and destroyed my confidence. And so I stayed. I felt ashamed and trapped. And so I stayed. Friends and clergy didn’t believe me. And so I stayed. I was pregnant. And so I stayed. I lost the pregnancy and became depressed. And so I stayed.” ~ Jennifer Willoughby, speaking of her allegedly abusive husband Rob Porter (Republican, Mormon, Harvard University, B.A., J.D., New College, Oxford: Oxford University, M.Phil.), appearance on The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell, MSNBC, February 8, 2018.


Friendships often end badly or become exploitative. To exploit someone is to take unfair advantage of their predicament, to give a rough and ready, short and snappy, down and dirty first approximation of a definition of exploitation. Consult your experience and ask yourself, seriously ask yourself as Philosophy demands, if Willoughby’s experience resonates with you as believable, and if her experience has parallels or analogies with some friendships you have experienced. Talk amongst yourselves while I move on, since I’m scarcely done.


One might object to my damn, fool questions and examples by insisting that friendship involves loyalty and what could possibly be wrong with that, especially in the world we live in now chock full of porn websites and dating websites urging us to explore alternatives rather than loyally hang around with the person who happens to be your romantic friend at the moment. As Stephen Stills sang, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one your with.” And websites make it push-button easy to get together. It’s just lunch? But is the service arranging lunch with someone of your designated range of ages, interests, locations, etc. really just lunch or is it a portal to another friendship or at least to an experiment in friendship or trying to make friends.


Dale Carnegie earned some wealth showing us in a book how to win friends and influence people. Well, surely any prize you win in the great capitalist countries of the world at least must be worthwhile. So, friendship must be worthwhile, especially since it involves a good measure of loyalty.


But the above is a procedural argument. We’re following capitalist procedures to win friends and spawn loyalty. We are allowed, however, to look at results rather than just have tunnel vision about procedure. We need simply ask a few pointed questions about loyalty to see that loyalty is not all it is cracked up to be. Millions were loyal to Hitler. Hundreds or even thousands were and are loyal to the worst gangsters. Hundreds of millions are loyal to questionable, to say the least, politicians such as LBJ, Nixon, or Trump. Is such loyalty and friendship really so good that it is beyond serious question? Very well, what about the loyalty and friendships in religious cults? Consider Jim Jones’ Jonestown, David Koresh’s Branch Davidians in Waco, Texas (have you noticed that we keep coming back to Texas?), Marshall Applewhite’s Heaven’s Gate cult in the suburbs of San Diego. OK, we keep coming back to California, too. The problem of overestimating the value of friendship, as if it is scarcely a double-edged sword, is bi-coastal, and bipartisan, since we find it in red and blue states alike.


And then there step forward the enablers. Many friends, out of friendship or even love, enable their closest friends or relatives to stay addicted to dangerous substances, all too often leading to death. Suicide among the young is at an all-time high in America. Guns are the leading cause of death among children. Relying on mere friendship to get us out of this mess is, as a piece of friendly advice from me to you, naïvely and overly optimistic in a way that brings us right back to the critical thinking of Voltaire’s Candide. Discuss all this with your friends.

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Thank You, Larry & Cyndi You are Ideal Models for < Friendshipology.net > I must show your letter to All my other dear Friends

Love, Billy

Larry Chang Wrote December 17, 2024

Bill and Lucille,

We missed a number of recent FF events; did not get the opportunity to catch up with you.  After the new year, Cyndi will plan to serve you lunch at your home again.  We always enjoy intimate conversations with you.

Our travel highlight of the year was the week-long reunion with many of our HP colleagues in the South of France.  Coming from all over the world, 23 colleagues along with their spouses (39 in total) re-connected our friendship during the first week of June.  We shopped at the local farmer’s market; we learned from local cheese makers; we hiked to ancient castles; we toured the Valrhona chocolate museum; we cooked for each other; we toasted with fine French wine and robust German beer; we marveled at endless lavender fields in bloom; we chatted well past the morning wee hours each evening.  Even though we have not seen each other for 15-20 years, we embraced each other (and their spouses) as if we were family and friends forever. 

Wish you and your family a joyous holiday season, and a new start to a new year.  

Larry and Cyndi

        

AN ADMIRABLE OUTREACHING AND CARING CROSS-CULTURAL TEACHER & CONNECTOR -by Billy 2024

My dear friend, Winny Lin, fellow board member at USCPFA-South Bay Chapter, made an impressive presentation at the 50th Anniversary US-China People’s Friendship Association’s Washington DC Seminar this October, 2024.

She first pointed out the unfavorable opinion the Americans have towards China today, but she felt that Better Understanding and Relationship can still be achieved and encouraged via Education and she is presently using Outschool an online education platform to conduct her class. Her first online was  called ‘Introduction to China”. She has designed two special Mandarin Chinese classes – one for 5-10 years olds an another for 11-16 years olds. She loves to teach language through culture and create lots of fun and interactive lessons.  Many of her students are from the United States, but some from Russia, Wales, Israel, the United Kingdom, Ireland, Indonesia, Germany, Canada, and New Zealand. So far , after 3+ years, she has taught 1,482 learners, and many  students and parents have “liked” her classes.

She said,” When we start class, they stand up, bow to the teacher, and then sit down just like the students in China do. They follow directions and do homework. The older ones, in the 11-16 year-old sections even do research after class. The more I expect them to do, the happier they are. People have asked me why so many students wanted to take Mandarin Chinese. From my observation, and a survey of my students in class. the reasons are: It seems cool and trendy to know some Chinese or just another language. Many students have watched some TV shows (Over the Moon), movies (like Mulan and Kung Fu Panda), and became interested in China.

The materials I have covered are:

Four major Chinese holidays (Chinese New Year, the Lantern Festival, the Dragon Boat Festival and the Mid-autumn Festival).

Customs and traditions (what Chinese eat, wear, do on all these holidays and most, importantly, the Chinese way of thinking).

History, art, and geography (for example, the first emperor :Qin Shi Huang, the Yuan Dynasty, the terra cotta warriors, Chinese porcelain, the Yellow River, Tibet, and major cities such as Beijing, Shanghai Guilin and Xi’an) .

Chinese poetry (Li Bai’s Quiet Night, 凉州词)and Chinese traditional music instrument (the er hu, zheng, and moon guitar).

Chinese songs (你笑起來真好看, 茉莉花) and stories, such as the Monkey King, Kung Fu Panda, and Chinese ghost stories.

The Olympics, what sports are popular in China, and the Chinese school system, including information about the gao kao, college entrance examination .

This year, the Year of the Dragon, I took a group of eight to Ygnacio Valley Elementary School in Concord, California to help them celebrate Chinese New Year. These eight included two classically trained artists, graduates from Guangdong Art Institute, and two Chinese calligraphers. We did drawings of Chinese dragons, storytelling of “The Story of Nian,” and wrote a Chinese character, “good luck 福” . This school has about 400 students, and the majority are Latinos. The fun part was when the principal led the Chinese dragon dance through the whole school. The students were very excited. Also, they took home red envelopes with lucky money, with a note in Spanish telling what the lucky money meant.

In 2023, for the Year of the Rabbit, my church, Walnut Creek Presbyterian Church, celebrated the Lunar New Year with about 200 participants. We had three Chinese artists, set up booths for the Chinese zodiac and paper folding. We also had a Chinese dragon dance, rabbit line dance and storytelling.

I have also brought Chinese educators from Anshan, China in 2016 to Wren Ave. Elementary School in Concord. They taught students Chinese games and told students about Chinese schools through PowerPoint presentations.”

This reminds me of what I did in the last 40 years before we moved to California. I have connected schools in China with several districts in Kentucky. Not just one class, or one school, but several school districts (Daviess County Public Schools, Owensboro Catholic Schools, Henderson Schools, Lewis port Public Schools, Evansville Christian School) . As a result, students came all the way from Anshan, China to visit their pen pals in Kentucky. Therefore, thousands of students have been introduced to China and Chinese culture.

My husband and I also volunteered in Asheville, North Carolina for three summers at My Camp China, which is a program for Chinese children who have been adopted by American families. The older ones are already married and in their late 20s. Above all, I am most proud of this group that I started teaching in 1998 at First Presbyterian Church in Owensboro, Kentucky. Through the years, these 2- or 3-year-old Chinese children, especially girls, adopted by American families have studied Chinese language and culture from me, and are now in their mid-twenties. One of the mothers , Beth Hubbard, has become the president of Owensboro/Henderson Chapter, of USCPFA, and another parent, Carol Gehret, is the chapter treasurer. Beth’s daughter, Lily, has become a leader and activists for Asian Americans at her college, the University of Southern Indiana. Others have shown Chinese influence in their area of work.

You see, when you sow seeds everywhere, you don’t know where they may germinate, but somehow you can expect a “ harvest”

Several parents reached out to me. They brought their children to participate in my presentation—Aarya, (10) from DC, Vivian (8), Max (11) both from Minnesota and Oliver (15) from Seattle. I have given them Chinese names 雷伊洁, 文伊敏, 文可明, 白可明。By looking at the middle characters, you can tell we all are in the same family tree. That is our Chinese custom. 男的排”可” , 女的排 “伊” .

During my hour long presentation, they all got a chance to shine—Aarya recited 涼州詞, brother Max and sister Vivian recited 靜夜思, while Oliver gave a long speech what China meant to him. 他们都说的字正腔圆。and made me very proud.

Oliver said, “當我第一次來林老師的課堂時,我什麼都不懂, 但是這三年來, 我的中文進步很多,現在中國在我的生命當中,意義重大!” “When I first attended your class, I did not understand anything, but after three years my Chinese improved. Now China means a lot in my life.”

Both he and his mother joined our South Bay chapter and attended Washington Seminar for 3 days. We even visited Chinese-American Museum in DC, and attended the 50th anniversary of US-China People’s Association at China Embassy as guests of honor. All are so unforgettable! Many people now are following Oliver and want to see what he will do in the future!

——————————————————————————————————————

Winny Lin, Board of Director at USCPFA- South Bay Chapter, was born in Guilin, China, but grew up in Taiwan. In 1971, she came to the U.S. to attend Illinois State University. She earned a master’s degree in special education and then taught for more than 50 years in Kentucky and California public schools before teaching Mandarin Chinese on Outschool,

Billy is a great fan and admirer of this dynamic cross-cultural connector and teacher. She is always smiling and always reaching out with joy, enthusiasm, and caringness.

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Treat people with Sincerity(以诚待人)and Make friends through Literature(以文会友) by Prof.Wang LiLi – Ningbo University, China – October 2024

I am very glad to be a “post-90s” person—having celebrated my 90th birthday. Looking back on the past, it is fortunate that I have many friends in my life, including those from France, the United Kingdom, Japan, the United States, Italy, Germany, Singapore… and so on.

Some young friends asked me: How can you have so many friends? And be able to maintain long-term communication and friendship? I thought about it. Perhaps it can be summed up in two sentences: Treat people with sincerity(以诚待人) and make friends through literature(以文会友)!

Treat people with sincerity(以诚待人)

Chinese traditional culture believes that “integrity is the foundation of being a person and establishing a career.” There is a Chinese proverb: “Those who treat others with sincerity will also be treated with sincerity by others.” It means that if you treat others sincerely, others will treat you sincerely in return. There is also an ancient saying: “Treating people with sincerity will become clear over time.” It means that treating others with a sincere attitude, over time, others will naturally understand your intention. Therefore, treating people with sincerity is a bridge to communicate with the soul and the foundation for making friends.

Make friends through literature(以文会友)

Making friends through literature is to make friends and enhance friendship through the exchange of cultural knowledge. Many of my friends in the international academic community have become good teachers and friends through in-depth academic exchanges. Through mutual learning and sharing academic knowledge, we can increase our common language and understanding, and thus establish deep friendships. The origin of this idiom can be traced back to ancient Chinese cultural exchanges and friendship concepts. As it is said in “The Analects of Confucius · Yan Yuan”: “A gentleman makes friends through literature.” In the Song Dynasty, Liu Yong’s “Nüguanzi” poem says: “Make friends through literature, endure the temptation of floating melons and plums and be careful in making promises.” In ancient times, cultural knowledge was an important medium for people to communicate and establish friendships, sharing their hearts and enjoying each other’s company to enhance mutual understanding and friendship.

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Billy’s Comments: 

Prof. Wang Lili was the first Vice President of Ningbo University and an esteemed Material Scientist in China. He was responsible for getting me back to teach Architecture at Ningbo U. in 1991. He is certainly one of my most admired, respected, and loved cousins – we are related as his maternal grandmother was the youngest sister of my paternal grandfather. I requested that he write something for my Friendship & Friendshipology Website, and within a week I received his response:

王礼立的外祖母李玉娥是我祖父李屑请的妹妹他生1934深受外祖母影响长大他确实接受了很多外祖母小港李家的传统精神我因早年离开中国.不如他对李氏的家史李氏的亲族的了解得那么多

我的堂弟李名复教授向我介绍王礼立他已是宁波大学的教授和副1991他请我回到我的祖根地到宁波大学讲授为一个月的建筑设计自从我遇见了这位表弟后使我加深了对我的祖根地宁波的热爱他确实成为我最信赖和仰慕的一位表弟他的精神,他的鼓励支持和引导使得我们在北仑建立乾坤亭和宁波大学内的小型音乐厅得以成功

他对我个人起着激励的作用同时也帮助许多其他李氏成员作些有利于宁波宁波大学和中国的事业

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以诚待人,以文会友

我很高兴成为“90后”—度过了90岁生日。回顾往事,值得庆幸的是我一生有很多朋友,包括法国的、英国的、日本的、美国的、意大利的、德国的、新加坡的。。。等等。

有年轻朋友问我:你怎么会有这么多朋友?而且能够保持长久的交往和友谊?我想了想,也许可以归结为两句话:以诚待人,以文会友!

以诚待人

中国的传统文化认为“诚信是做人之本,立业之基”。中国有一句谚语:“以诚待人者,人亦以诚待我”,意思是自己以真诚对待别人,别人也会以真诚对待自己。还有一句古语:“以诚待人,历久自明”,意思是用真诚的态度对待别人,时间久了,别人自然会明白你的心意。所以,以诚待人是沟通心灵的桥梁、交友的基础。

以文会友

以文会友是通过对文化知识的交流来结交朋友并增进友谊。我的很多国际学术界朋友都是通过深入的学术交流而成为良师益友的。通过相互学习和分享学术知识,可以增加彼此的共同语言和理解,从而建立深厚的友谊。这个成语的起源可以追溯到中国古代的文化交流和友谊观念。《论语·颜渊》有云:“君子以文会友。”宋代柳永 《女冠子》词云:“以文会友,沉李浮瓜忍轻诺“。在古代,文化知识是人们交流和建立友谊的重要媒介,相互交心、相互怡情,以增进彼此的理解和友谊。

王礼立

2024.10.18

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2024.10.18

My dear friend, Professor Larry Yu-Chi Ho 何毓琦.is not just a distinguished Scientist, he is also a Cross-cultural Connector – Billy– Oct. 2024

You can access his blogs at:

https://blog.sciencenet.cn/home.php?mod=space&uid=1565
or simply google: Larry Ho Blog – For more info, check out:

INFORMS and HLT BME

Professor Larry Yu-Chi Ho is a prominent figure in control theory, particularly known for his work in dynamic systems, optimization, and game theory. A Chinese-American mathematician, he was born in Shanghai and later moved to the U.S., where he pursued his studies at MIT and Harvard, earning a Ph.D. in applied mathematics. His contributions to control theory have been significant, especially in fields like differential games, stochastic estimation, and discrete event dynamic systems

Throughout his career, Ho has made substantial advancements in areas like perturbation analysis and ordinal optimization, methods used to simplify complex optimization problems without assigning precise numerical values. His work, such as the “Ho-Kashyap Rule” in pattern recognition and his studies in optimal control, has been highly influential.

Although Professor Ho retired from teaching at Harvard in 2001, he remains active in research. In China, he maintains a popular science blog on ScienceNet.cn, where he shares insights on his personal experiences, research, and topics of broader scientific interest​. From 2001 to 2018 Professor Ho was chief scientist at the Center for Information and Networked Systems ( CFINS) of the Department of Automation at Tsinghua University. His chief duties were to help bring staff and researchers at CFINS to World Class standard and put the Center on the world map. He visited CFINS every year for one month at a time. He established new courses and did collaborative research with young local staff members at the center. Since 2018 he worked with CFINS remotely and hosted visits from staff from Tsinghua at Harvard/ Boston.

According to Harvard Profile, Professor Ho was a long-time faculty member at Harvard’s School of Engineering and Applied Sciences (SEAS), where he contributed significantly to systems engineering and applied mathematics. His research focuses on optimal control, game theory, and the mathematical underpinnings of decision-making processes. He has mentored many Ph.D. students, contributing to their development as leading scholars in control theory. His academic accolades include being a fellow of prestigious organizations such as the National Academy of Engineering and IEEE.

On Science Net,( started in 2007) Professor Larry Yu-Chi Ho has been sharing his scientific insights and personal reflections through blog posts. He discusses topics ranging from his personal experiences in research to broader topics such as the philosophy of science, education, and the importance of balancing scientific innovation with ethical considerations.

His posts emphasize a deep connection to both his professional achievements and his personal life, offering readers a holistic view of his thoughts on science, society, and family. The blogs indeed reveal much about his Life in the United States which help friends from China have a better understanding about Cross cultural relations. He has also introduced a few articles from his friends.

Professor Larry Yu-Chi Ho’s blog on Science Net has been widely appreciated for its blend of professional insights and personal wisdom. Readers often highlight his ability to seamlessly connect complex scientific ideas with everyday life lessons. While he is a renowned expert in control theory, his blog posts extend beyond academic and professional content, delving into reflections on family, personal growth, and philosophical musings on human relationships and societal responsibilities.

One particularly well-received post is his “Valentine Day Tribute to My Wife,” where he shares his personal appreciation for his spouse, blending scientific reasoning with heartfelt emotion. Such posts resonate deeply with his readers because they show a different side of the scientist—one who values emotional intelligence and the importance of relationships in a fulfilling life. His reflections on family vacations and the joys of simple moments, such as driving across the U.S. with his family, further enhance the human aspect of his writings​.

These non-professional wisdoms often revolve around themes of balance in life, humility, and the importance of ethical reflection in one’s work, making his blog a valuable source of both scientific and life lessons.

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Professor Larry Yu-Chi Ho’s ScienceNet blog has received salutary comments from readers across different regions, appreciating both his scientific acumen and his personal reflections. Here are a few notable examples:

  1. From China:
    Many Chinese readers on ScienceNet have expressed admiration for Professor Ho’s deep philosophical reflections on science and life. A common sentiment is the respect for his “humility and balance,” with one reader commenting:
    “Professor Ho’s ability to merge rigorous science with life’s everyday wisdom is what makes his writings unique. His personal stories inspire us to see beyond mere professional success.”
    This reflects the cultural value placed on life wisdom and the appreciation for a well-rounded intellectual figure.
  2. From the U.S.:
    American audiences, especially those familiar with his academic work, commend him for stepping beyond the usual technical boundaries to touch on human experiences. A commenter once said:
    “It’s refreshing to see someone so accomplished in science speak so openly about love, family, and the simple joys of life. His Valentine’s tribute was deeply moving and unexpected from a figure of his stature.”
    This shows how his personal writings resonate even among his academic peers, giving them a window into the human side of a rigorous scientist.
  3. From Other Global Readers:
    International readers often view his blog as a source of both intellectual and emotional wisdom. A European reader remarked:
    Professor Ho’s reflections on his life’s journey are as instructive as his scientific papers. His blog is a rare blend of deep thought, love for humanity, and scientific integrity.”
    This highlights how his writings have crossed cultural and geographical boundaries, appealing to those who appreciate the integration of science with life’s broader lessons.

These comments illustrate the global appeal of Professor Ho’s blog, with readers from various cultural backgrounds finding value in both his technical insights and his thoughtful reflections.

Started in 2007. this blog today has over six million readers globally according to ChatGPT.

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A Valentine Day Tribute to My Wife 情人節献给我的终身伴侣

The Single Most Important Advice I can Give. Be truly grateful and show appreciation to whoever enables you. In my case it’s my wife, Sophia.”

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