I am very glad to be a “post-90s” person—having celebrated my 90th birthday. Looking back on the past, it is fortunate that I have many friends in my life, including those from France, the United Kingdom, Japan, the United States, Italy, Germany, Singapore… and so on.
Some young friends asked me: How can you have so many friends? And be able to maintain long-term communication and friendship? I thought about it. Perhaps it can be summed up in two sentences: Treat people with sincerity（以诚待人） and make friends through literature（以文会友）!
Treat people with sincerity（以诚待人）
Chinese traditional culture believes that “integrity is the foundation of being a person and establishing a career.” There is a Chinese proverb: “Those who treat others with sincerity will also be treated with sincerity by others.” It means that if you treat others sincerely, others will treat you sincerely in return. There is also an ancient saying: “Treating people with sincerity will become clear over time.” It means that treating others with a sincere attitude, over time, others will naturally understand your intention. Therefore, treating people with sincerity is a bridge to communicate with the soul and the foundation for making friends.
Make friends through literature（以文会友）
Making friends through literature is to make friends and enhance friendship through the exchange of cultural knowledge. Many of my friends in the international academic community have become good teachers and friends through in-depth academic exchanges. Through mutual learning and sharing academic knowledge, we can increase our common language and understanding, and thus establish deep friendships. The origin of this idiom can be traced back to ancient Chinese cultural exchanges and friendship concepts. As it is said in “The Analects of Confucius · Yan Yuan”: “A gentleman makes friends through literature.” In the Song Dynasty, Liu Yong’s “Nüguanzi” poem says: “Make friends through literature, endure the temptation of floating melons and plums and be careful in making promises.” In ancient times, cultural knowledge was an important medium for people to communicate and establish friendships, sharing their hearts and enjoying each other’s company to enhance mutual understanding and friendship.
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Billy’s Comments:
Prof. Wang Lili was the first Vice President of Ningbo University and an esteemed Material Scientist in China. He was responsible for getting me back to teach Architecture at Ningbo U. in 1991. He is certainly one of my most admired, respected, and loved cousins – we are related as his maternal grandmother was the youngest sister of my paternal grandfather. I requested that he write something for my Friendship & Friendshipology Website, and within a week I received his response:
王礼立的外祖母李玉娥是我祖父李屑请的妹妹。他生1934年，深受外祖母影响长大。他确实接受了很多外祖母小港李家的传统精神。我因早年离开中国.不如他对李氏的家史、李氏的亲族的了解得那么多。
我的堂弟李名复教授向我介绍王礼立時，他已是宁波大学的教授和副校长。1991年，他请我回到我的祖根地，到宁波大学讲授为時一个月的建筑设计。自从我遇见了这位表弟后，使我加深了对我的祖根地宁波的热爱，他确实成为我最信赖和仰慕的一位表弟。他的精神,他的鼓励、支持和引导，使得我们在北仑建立乾坤亭和宁波大学内的小型音乐厅得以成功。
他对我个人起着激励的作用，同时也帮助许多其他李氏成员作些有利于宁波、宁波大学和中国的事业。
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以诚待人，以文会友
我很高兴成为“90后”—度过了90岁生日。回顾往事，值得庆幸的是我一生有很多朋友，包括法国的、英国的、日本的、美国的、意大利的、德国的、新加坡的。。。等等。
有年轻朋友问我：你怎么会有这么多朋友？而且能够保持长久的交往和友谊？我想了想，也许可以归结为两句话：以诚待人，以文会友！
以诚待人
中国的传统文化认为“诚信是做人之本，立业之基”。中国有一句谚语：“以诚待人者,人亦以诚待我”，意思是自己以真诚对待别人，别人也会以真诚对待自己。还有一句古语：“以诚待人,历久自明”，意思是用真诚的态度对待别人，时间久了，别人自然会明白你的心意。所以，以诚待人是沟通心灵的桥梁、交友的基础。
以文会友
以文会友是通过对文化知识的交流来结交朋友并增进友谊。我的很多国际学术界朋友都是通过深入的学术交流而成为良师益友的。通过相互学习和分享学术知识，可以增加彼此的共同语言和理解，从而建立深厚的友谊。这个成语的起源可以追溯到中国古代的文化交流和友谊观念。《论语·颜渊》有云：“君子以文会友。”宋代柳永 《女冠子》词云：“以文会友，沉李浮瓜忍轻诺“。在古代，文化知识是人们交流和建立友谊的重要媒介，相互交心、相互怡情，以增进彼此的理解和友谊。
王礼立
2024.10.18
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2024.10.18
