Deepening Friendship and Bonding, Pursuing FUN & CREATIVE Ideas Together. Compassion vs Fear

~ Billy

Three Friends: Bill or Billy ( an Architect ), James ( a lawyer ), and Stephen ( an Electrical Engineer ), were having fun lately – playing psychologists and seeking Truth and Meaning about COMPASSION.

Below is a report by Stephen which illustrates their recent collective FUN & CREATIVE Pursuit.

Mindfulness Turns Fear to Compassion

The following four Charts were built on ideas and works of three friends. More immediately, some of the ideas came from my friends Bill Lee and James Luce, and I simply internalized them with my personal philosophy to combine the two charts into one. This figure shows the two original charts. The upper right one came from Bill’s readings on Compassion. The lower left chart was created by James at the request of Bill.

I recognized that both charts have two axes and that if the value of the horizontal axis of one chart is rephrased to be the opposite of the value of the other horizontal axis, then both charts become connected. The same reasoning suggests that the two vertical axes can also be rephrased so that the two charts can be interpreted as a single chart. This thought results in the following chart. The horizontal axis ranges from High Feeling of Threat to You, to Low Feeling of Threat to You, and then crosses over the vertical axis to Low Feeling of Needs from You, and then to High Feeling of Needs from You.

The vertical axis ranges from High degree of Selfishness from the bottom of the chart to High degree of Unselfishness at the top of the chart. Then a color scale is painted on each little square of the chart to start from Red to represent an extreme feeling of threat and selfishness which causes the primitive reptilian brain in humans to attack out of fear and survival instinct. The color changes towards the Green color representing compassion at the upper right corner of the chart.

Then the second chart was created by adding three application cases to illustrate how Mindfulness can help a person to modify the reflex instinct of fear and survival towards the humanistic behavior is controllable by the more evolved human brain which can make reasoned decisions according to our personal values which take into account our tradeoffs between the self and others, as well as our often-flawed instinctive awareness of the intention of the other person.

The final chart adds a fourth case to the examples. It was an actual experience yesterday while traveling in an airplane.

April 12, 2023

Stephen Lee

Reflection

Compassion, Fear, Mindfulness

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“Are there Parallels Between The Art of Cooking And The Art of Building Friendship?” Chat GPT Replied to Billy’s Question:

~ Billy

Here’s what Chat GPT spit out – March 22, 2023

Yes, there are parallels between the art of cooking and the art of building friendships. Both require a certain level of creativity, patience, and practice to succeed. Here are some examples:

  1. Creativity: Just as chefs use their creativity to create unique and delicious dishes, friends can use their creativity to find new and interesting ways to spend time together, such as trying out new activities or exploring new places.
  2. Patience: Cooking and building friendships both require patience. Just as a chef must wait for a dish to cook to perfection, friends must be patient and invest time and effort to build and nurture their relationships.
  3. Practice: Both cooking and building friendships require practice to improve and refine one’s skills. Just as a chef must practice their cooking techniques and recipes to perfect their craft, friends must practice their communication and social skills to build strong relationships.
  4. Balance: In cooking, the right balance of ingredients is crucial to create a harmonious dish. Similarly, in building friendships, the right balance of effort and time is essential to maintain a healthy and balanced relationship.
  5. Communication: Communication is vital in both cooking and building friendships. Chefs must communicate with their team to create the perfect dish, while friends must communicate their thoughts and feelings to build trust and understanding.
  6. Trust: Just as diners trust chefs to create delicious and safe food, friends need to trust each other to be honest, supportive, and reliable.

In conclusion, the art of cooking and the art of building friendships share many similarities. Both require creativity, patience, practice, balance, communication, and trust to succeed. By nurturing these qualities, we can create delicious meals, strong relationships, and lasting friendships.

 Billy’s Comments: My next question may be: ,”How to make a Friendship Stew?” ___________________________________________________

Food makes Friends (according to Chat GPT)

~ Billy

By Mike Sterling – March  19, 2023

I asked Chat GPT how sharing a meal can help make better friends … 

I couldn’t have said it better..

Sharing a meal can help make people better friends in several ways:

  1. Builds trust and openness: When you share a meal with someone, you’re sharing an experience that requires trust and vulnerability. It’s an opportunity to open up to one another, share stories, and be present with each other. This can create a stronger bond and foster a deeper level of trust between people.                              
  2. Creates a sense of community: Food has the power to bring people together and create a sense of belonging. When you share a meal with someone, you’re creating a shared experience and a sense of community. This can help foster a sense of belonging and connectedness between people, which can lead to deeper and more meaningful friendships.
  3. Sparks conversation: Food can be a great conversation starter. Whether you’re discussing the flavors of the dish, the ingredients used, or the cultural significance of the food, there’s always something to talk about. This can help break down barriers and create a more open and engaging conversation between people, leading to stronger friendships.
  4. Offers opportunities to show care and affection: When you cook for someone or share a meal with them, it’s a way of showing care and affection. It’s a tangible way of expressing your appreciation for someone and can help build a stronger emotional connection between people.

Overall, sharing a meal can create a space for people to connect on a deeper level, build trust and openness, create a sense of community, spark conversation, and show care and affection. All of these factors can help make people better friends and strengthen the bonds of friendship.

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Billy’s Comments:

It helps when the food is delicious, the setting is good, and there is no rush.

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“ TRUE FRIENDS OF OUR WORLD – NON-SIBI SED OMNIBUS FRIENDS “ By Billy Lee – March 2023“

~ Billy

I have two friends whom I have not yet met face to face, although we

have met via Zoom once and exchanged emails only a few times. I

consider them “ TRUE FRIENDS OF OUR WORLD – MY NON -SIBI SED

OMNIBUS FRIENDS “.  I truly love, admire, and respect them.

JOSHUA FREEDMAN is a specialist on Emotional Intelligence, an

author, and CEO at SIX SECONDS, a non-profit EQ NETWORK

dedicated to teaching Emotional Intelligence around the World.

 <www.6seconds.org> <en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joshua_Freedman>

RICK HANSON, Ph.D. is a psychologist, Senior Fellow of UC Berkeley’s

Greater Good Science Center , founder of  Wellspring Institute for

Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, and many times New York

Times best-selling author.  

<amazon.com/Rick-Hanson Books/s?k=Rick+Hanson&rh=n%3A283155>

Amazingly, our Friendship grows as I faithfully read their

weekly e-messages. They truly nurture me spiritually.

This week, Six Seconds wrote about “How to get more JOY from

FREUDENFREUDE.”  Definition of FREUDENFREUDE is simply “Taking

 pleasure and enjoying another person’s success.” ( Schadenfreude is

just the opposite – Taking pleasure in other’s Misery.) 

I actually experienced this unique Feeling of Joy recently when I

congratulated Will Schwalbe and Brian Wong’s on getting their books

published. Will’s “We Should Not Be Friends” and Brian’s “The Tao of

Alibaba” are truly much needed contributions to our World.

Rick Hanson introduced his CHANGE YOUR MIND – Relationship

Program- just after THE STRONG HEART. 

He presented his programs in a joyful, and mellow caring tone

and demeanor. The graphic images used especially help many of us

feel and connect with his messages. For example:

Something that bothers you about another persons ?
Something that blocks your future self-expression ?
Something that you want to be more motivated for ?

I truly Love, admire, and respect these two fellows, because I believe

that they are sincerely doing what they do to benefit the World, and

they do it so effectively.

They are TRUE FRIENDS OF OUR WORLD and MY NON SIBI SED

OMNIBUS FRIENDS.

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The TAO OF ALIBABA – Inside the Chinese Digital Giant that is Changing the World.    by Brian A.Wong

~ Billy

Billy’s Thoughts

I am so grateful to have received a signed copy of this book from my FF Brother, Brian A. Wong. THE TAO OF ALIBABA elicited most optimistically how Jack Ma and his Alibaba Team achieved their stupendous success from the start – with NO TECH, NO PLAN, and NO MONEY. In praising THE TAO OF ALIBABA, Dr. Parag Khanna, International bestselling author of THE FUTURE IS ASIAN, suggested, ” This book will teach entrepreneurs how to build a global business better than any MBA course ever could.”

For me, I was especially impressed by Jack Ma’s advice to Brian, when the latter was thinking of striking out on his own to achieve meaningful contributions. Jack obviously knew Brian’s personality and capabilities very well already. His advice to Brian was succinct and specifically suited: “ Go deeply explore some poorest locations and communities.” I think Jack knew that Brian will find the True Compass, and Opportunities and Urgent Challenges are waiting there in abundance for solutions.

Helping and Caring to uplift people in need – inclusively, intelligently, and determinedly – is essentially what THE TAO Of ALIBABA is about. I also learned from this book that Teaching, Educating, and Sharing Knowledge – proudly yet humbly – are important in our efforts to serve the World together. We know that Jack Ma is a superb LEADER-Teacher. Brian has similar Capabilities and Compassion. THE TAO OF ALIBABA unquestionably is a very helpful Global Teaching Tool. Thank you, Brian, for sharing your unique personal experience with all of us. You are a dear personal friend, and you are a true “Friend of Our World”.

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