MEANINGFUL VARIATIONS ON FRIENDSHIP LEARNED FROM THIS FRIENDSHIPOLOGY INITIATIVE

~ Billy

Billy Lee – June 2023

Many dear friends contributed articles to https://friendshipology.net. From our correspondences, I learned much more about my special friendship with each of them. Spontaneously I made up my own heart-felt words to describe these friends: “Always Encouraging” are those who never failed to write a few words to keep my spirit up. “Friends Through Friendshipology” are those who met through the website and discovered delightful inspirations for one another. Several friends were just kind to me. In order to keep me involved in their deep discussion, they indeed “Walked With Me – My Pace.” Several Friends inspired me with their newly published books and programs which indeed will benefit the World. I called them “ My Esteemed Friends of The World ”. There is a close group of classmates from Phillips Andover. We are not ordinary social friends. We connect via the Non Sibi Spirit taught at Andover. This morning, I discovered another special Friend. I like to call him “ My Fellow Connector and Pollinator”.

Billy’s Yale ’55 Classmate, Charlie Goodyear (From 50th Class Reunion Book )

Billy Wrote to Charlie and a few others on Jun. 16, 2023 

My Good Friends,

You know I am a bit naive, but you also know that

sometimes I hit on some truly important ideas.

The attached article involves Promoting Compassion.

Empathy. and Friendship. 

Can you help me fan the Spirit of CEF ?

Please share your good ideas and advice.

Thanks with warm affection always,

Billy – Ming Sing 

<https://friendshipology.net>

PS: How about giving a new name to the THREE PEAKS in Yosemite National Park from “TheThree Brothers” to “ Monument of Three Virtues: COMPASSION, EMPATHY, and FRIENDSHIP ?”

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Charlie Replied three days later:

Billy !! I sent your wonderful message to several of my friends ! Here is one of their responses. !! Best wishes ! Charlie

From: Eugene Cheston <gene.cheston@gmail.com>

Billy is on the right track and, BTW so are the Goodyears. Caring about others or words that have a similar meaning is what the great thinkers over the ages espoused as being the path to happiness. Said simply, making OTHER PEOPLE happy is the path to achieving our own happiness. Serving self is a ubiquitous reality, however in spite of what some may think, serving self is a path in the wrong direction-no question about. The more I learn about life, the more I seem to be able to navigate through complexity and onto fundamental truths-often expressed in those aphorisms I like so much.

Real treasure is not made of gold nor of substances that glitter; real treasure is created in the crucible of human relationships-Cheston

Compassion is always, at its most authentic, about a shift from self-preoccupation into a more expansive place of fellowship-author unknown

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile-Einstein

Our love, Elsie and Gene

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Dear CHARLIE, Elsie and Gene,

Thank you for being Fellow Connectors and Pollinators in CULTIVATING OUR INNATE GOODNESS & SPREADING THE SPIRIT OF COMPASSION, EMPATHY, & FRIENDSHIP.

Sincerely,

Billy

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EXCHANGES AMONG THREE OLD FRIENDS – SEARCHING FOR MEANING – NURTURING FRIENDSHIP

~ Billy

Billy noticed a mountain with three peaks in Yosemite National Park last week. It reminded him instantly of his friendship with two friends. He emailed this photo below to Stephen and James with a note: “ Think of you. I just discovered THREE COMICS IN YOSEMITE. See photo.”

Stephen immediately checked various sources and discovered that it is actually a well known Yosemite destination called THE THREE BROTHERS. By one source, the background story was: “ Three native American brothers were frozen into stone by the Spirits for wandering into an unforbidden area”.

James commented: Wonderful photo of the “Monument to the Three Virtues. . . COMPASSION, EMPATHY, and FRIENDSHIP.” ( The topic the Three Friends – Stephen, James, and Billy – have recently been discussing.)

Billy acclaimed: “ You Got It, James !   Indeed, this is exactly how beautiful Yosemite National Park affected most of us who have visited there. I was overwhelmed by the magic of the sprouting and unstopping waterfalls with vapor spreading mysteriously, the gigantic and unshakable granite walls which seems to grow stronger and sturdier the longer I stare at them, the tall pines shooting perfectly straight towards the sky seems to gather in number as I try to count them, the placid water surfaces sometimes blue in color, sometimes green, sometimes black, can turn white as it becomes a roaring river pulled by gravity – hitting and diverting different obstructions along its way. It’s so magical.

But the important effect is not just Awe or a sense of Peace due to its Natural Beauty, however. The visitors interaction and goodwill spirit seems to grow in such surroundings.

Since 1890. Yosemite National Park has attracted millions of people from around the world to connect there and feel the common innate Goodness in Each and All of Us. This seems to promote Compassion.

Many of us, strangers, reach out to each other and have delightful conversations to discuss Beauty of Nature and learn more about each other’s personal experiences and different cultural backgrounds. Separate travelers often give each other a hand as needed – generously and caringly. We shared stories about struggles and accomplishments which can be both helpful and entertaining. This seems to promote Empathy.  

The planned trip and shared unique experience – physically demanding or moderate – definitely deepened the bonding among all of us. It’s Friendship and Feeling of Connectedness in the pursuit of Beauty, Joy, Meaning in Life together.

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Let’s try to have the National Park Service change the name to “ Monument of The Three Virtues: Compassion, Empathy, and Friendship.”

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AN AMAZING MAGIC MOMENT CONFIRMING: WE ALL HAVE AN INNATE WISH TO CONNECT & BECOME GOOD FRIENDS

~ Billy

Billy Lee – May 2023

An article by Greater Good Science Ct. today asked us to retrace a

Most Meaningful Experience in Life.  Somehow, I started thinking

about an Amazing Magic Moment which occurred almost twenty

years ago.

In was Spring 2004, I had arranged for a group of 8th grade students

from Hillsdale Middle School in Menlo Park, Ca. to visit and paint a

mural together with a selected group of Chinese students at (CNCC)

China’s National Children’sCenter in Beijing.

Everything was properly arranged that Saturday morning.  I arrived

at CNCC early, and together with the Host Coordinators, 15 Chinese

students, their Parents, Friends, and Neighbors, we waited anxiously

for the arrival of our Special American Guests. Ms. Chen Ying (CNCC

Coordinator) asked her 15 students to line up side by side in a row with

her in front, Parents immediately behind them, and guests and friends

at the rear.

Nine o’clock sharp, the American contingent arrived – all smiling as

the weather was perfect – even the sun was out, and the sky was

reasonably clear. They saw the Chinese formation and instinctively

had their students line up in a row opposite the Chinese children and

with their parents and teachers right behind.

Ms. Chen Ying was in her late 40’s but she appeared much younger.

In a most cheerful manner, she spoke loudly to welcome the Americans.

“ Welcome our dear American Friends !  This is going to be a Beautiful

Collaboration. We are going to paint a Mural together in this China’s

National Children’s Park.  I am going to match you children the American

Way – one to one on a Blind Date. Ha !   May I just ask you students to

close your eyes and walk straight with your hands stretched out towards

the opposite side. When your hands meet, you have found your partners

for this weekend. You can then open your eyes and introduce yourselves.

Okay ?”

The children did exactly what she directed. The Chinese students’ faces

looked mostly bewildered – few a bit shy and hesitant. The Americans

brave with joy – few boys seemed to have funny jokes inmind. As the

children walked step by step towards each other, I noticed a MIRACULOUS

MOMENT indeed expressed in the Parents’ faces – the Chinese Parents’

as well as the American Parents’. Some held thoughtful smiles, some

pressed their lips intensely, and few had tears flowing down from their

eyes.  This happened on both sides.  I indeed witnessed a MAGIC MOMENT

confirming that truly WE All HAVE AN INNATE WISH TO CONNECT AND

BECOME GOOD FRIENDS.

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ON NATURAL HUMAN REACTIONS – Billy Lee – May 2023

~ Billy

NATURAL HUMAN REACTIONS: ( For Billy’s Diplomat-Friends especially )

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Acknowledge me,   My Heart Opens

Lecture me,  I Play Deaf

Shame me,  I Get Angry

You Brag,     I Won’t Comment

Really Worth while,  I will Listen

Not Worth while,  I Reject

If You Apologize,  I cannot not Reconsider 

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Not Pure yourself   Don’t Lecture Others

Have not Delivered yourself   Do not Criticize Others

Too much Talk   People will Lose Trust in you.

Too much Bashing   No one will want to Listen ( It’s simply Annoying )

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