I try to grasp the essence of causes and effects in relationships, so that I can have a reasonable compass to guide my own behavior, and I like to reduce the number of words to the minimum in defining solutions, since over-complex explanations sometime distract and even mislead our focus.
On “How To Build Trust And True Friendship?”, I have the following suggestions.
1: You must believe that Trust and True Friendship are important in your life.
2: You must try to be Modest and Compassionate.
3: Never intentionally or unintentionally hurt another person – physically, materially, or emotionally. Always be sensitive to the Friend’s Pride & Honor.
My good friend, James G Luce, thinks a mile a minute. I usually can’t keep up with him. But he is kind and often slowed down a bit and patiently explained what I was still puzzled about.
I thanked him for WALKING MY PACE WITH ME.
He replied,” WE ARE ALL WALKING DOWN THE ROAD TOGETHER. The conversation is enlightening at all times.”
I inquired if there is a song already with that name, and if not will he compose one for our <https://FRIENDSHIPOLOGY.net>
James first mentioned that “ON THE ROAD AGAIN” written by Bob Dylan and sung by Willie Nelson was worth remembering. He dashed out the following composition the following day:
Walking Down the Road Together
By j. luce
Inspired by Billy Lee
(Sung to the tune of Roundup Lullaby, my favorite childhood song)
FRIENDSHIPOLOGY means STUDY OF FRIENDSHIP or indeed HUMAN RELATIONSHIP. What enhances GOOD RELATIONSHIPS and what causes AWKWARD RELATIONSHIPS ?
MISTREATMENTS whether PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, DIRECT, or INDIRECT are the NEGATIVE FORCES. Some unkind acts are INTENTIONAL, some ACCIDENTAL, some REACTIONAL, some INDUCED or PROVOLKED.
OPENNESS, EMPATHY, TOLERANCE, FORGIVENESS & TRUST are the POSITIVE COMPASSIONATE ENERGIES we all need to develop as FRIENDLY GLOBAL CITIZENS.
1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to;
2. Return money that you have borrowed even before the person that borrowed you remember or ask for it. It shows your integrity and character. The samegoes for umbrellas, pens, and lunch boxes.
3. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is giving you lunch/dinner.
4. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids’ or ‘Why didn’t you buy a house?’ Or why don’t you buy a car? For God’s sake it isn’t your problem;
5. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public;
6. If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time;
7. Respect different shades of opinions. Remember what’s 6 to you will appear 9 to someone facing you. Besides, a second opinion is good for an alternative;
8. Never interrupt people talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all;
9. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again. It encourages one to do more and it shows how appreciative you’re;
10. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.
11. Praise publicly. Criticize privately;
12. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will;
13. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next;
14. If a colleague tells you they have a doctor’s appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say “I hope you’re okay”. Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you abouttheir personal illness. If they want you to know, they’ll do so without your inquisitiveness;
15. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rude you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect;
16. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude;
17. Never give advice until you’re asked;
18. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age and salary;
19. Mind your business unless anything involves you directly – just stay out of it;
20. Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. Moreso, eye contact is as important as your speech; and
21. Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don’t talk about your children in the midst of the barren.
No cheating. Win or lose enjoy the togethernessand the Tics & Tacs.
Billy has two SPECIAL FRIENDS, James and Stephen, who seem to enjoy challenging each other intellectually via emails. See their latest correspondence below.
James:
Hello Stephen,
We have no way to know whether the human brain has risen above nature. Porpoises may be more intelligent…they just do not have opposable thumbs with which to build weapons. There may be thousands of more intelligent species somewhere off Earth. It may be that our brains are not above nature at all…rather they may be a cancer on nature.
Function does not, in my view, require purpose…only output.
I just enjoy the meanderings of my brain and the compatible meanderings of those whom I count as friends. That’s plenty enough for me.
Your friend, James
Stephen:
James,
You have exposed me to many ideas and knowledge and brought me along on my personal quest.
Two minds crossing paths in 1990s and lately in 2020s are not coincidental only in my sentiment. It is happier to think that there is a purpose as well as an output, or so I imagine and prefer.
Explicitly, this practice means coming from love in a broad sense – from compassion, good intentions, self-control, warmth, finding what to like, caring, connecting, and kindness.
Implicitly and more fundamentally, this practice means a relaxed opening into the love – in a very very broad sense – that is the actual nature of everything.
Two paragraphs Billy copied from Henry Shukman’s article, “Tree of Wisdom”. 2022 Shukman, author of The Lost City, teaches at Mountain Cloud Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico
Trees are our natural environment. They are our friends like no other species.
Warmth in winter, shade in summer, said the poet Alexander Pope, of trees’ gifts
to humanity. Where people are, trees are. Many cities are filled with trees. Some
even look like woodland from the air. For thousands of generations, trees have
provided people with windbreaks, shade, shelter, fire, and one of the primary
fabrics of our dwellings.
Trees are our closest neighbors. There are dogs, cats, cows, and other
domestic animals with whom some of us live, and there are our cousins like
the chimpanzee with whom we don’t usually live. On the other hand, pretty
much all people live with trees.
Just a photo of Trees – no word – ‘HELLO’ from Old Friend, Betty Wei Liu – Oct. 2022