Billy Lee – June 2023

Many dear friends contributed articles to https://friendshipology.net. From our correspondences, I learned much more about my special friendship with each of them. Spontaneously I made up my own heart-felt words to describe these friends: “Always Encouraging” are those who never failed to write a few words to keep my spirit up. “Friends Through Friendshipology” are those who met through the website and discovered delightful inspirations for one another. Several friends were just kind to me. In order to keep me involved in their deep discussion, they indeed “Walked With Me – My Pace.” Several Friends inspired me with their newly published books and programs which indeed will benefit the World. I called them “ My Esteemed Friends of The World ”. There is a close group of classmates from Phillips Andover. We are not ordinary social friends. We connect via the Non Sibi Spirit taught at Andover. This morning, I discovered another special Friend. I like to call him “ My Fellow Connector and Pollinator”.

Billy’s Yale ’55 Classmate, Charlie Goodyear (From 50^th Class Reunion Book )

Billy Wrote to Charlie and a few others on Jun. 16, 2023 

My Good Friends,

You know I am a bit naive, but you also know that

sometimes I hit on some truly important ideas.

The attached article involves Promoting Compassion.

Empathy. and Friendship. 

Can you help me fan the Spirit of CEF ?

Please share your good ideas and advice.

Thanks with warm affection always,

Billy – Ming Sing 

<https://friendshipology.net>

PS: How about giving a new name to the THREE PEAKS in Yosemite National Park from “TheThree Brothers” to “ Monument of Three Virtues: COMPASSION, EMPATHY, and FRIENDSHIP ?”

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Charlie Replied three days later:

Billy !! I sent your wonderful message to several of my friends ! Here is one of their responses. !! Best wishes ! Charlie

From: Eugene Cheston <gene.cheston@gmail.com>

Billy is on the right track and, BTW so are the Goodyears. Caring about others or words that have a similar meaning is what the great thinkers over the ages espoused as being the path to happiness. Said simply, making OTHER PEOPLE happy is the path to achieving our own happiness. Serving self is a ubiquitous reality, however in spite of what some may think, serving self is a path in the wrong direction-no question about. The more I learn about life, the more I seem to be able to navigate through complexity and onto fundamental truths-often expressed in those aphorisms I like so much.

Real treasure is not made of gold nor of substances that glitter; real treasure is created in the crucible of human relationships-Cheston

Compassion is always, at its most authentic, about a shift from self-preoccupation into a more expansive place of fellowship-author unknown

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile-Einstein

Our love, Elsie and Gene

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Dear CHARLIE, Elsie and Gene,

Thank you for being Fellow Connectors and Pollinators in CULTIVATING OUR INNATE GOODNESS & SPREADING THE SPIRIT OF COMPASSION, EMPATHY, & FRIENDSHIP.

Sincerely,

Billy

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Billy Lee – May 2023

An article by Greater Good Science Ct. today asked us to retrace a

Most Meaningful Experience in Life.  Somehow, I started thinking

about an Amazing Magic Moment which occurred almost twenty

years ago.

In was Spring 2004, I had arranged for a group of 8^th grade students

from Hillsdale Middle School in Menlo Park, Ca. to visit and paint a

mural together with a selected group of Chinese students at (CNCC)

China’s National Children’sCenter in Beijing.

Everything was properly arranged that Saturday morning.  I arrived

at CNCC early, and together with the Host Coordinators, 15 Chinese

students, their Parents, Friends, and Neighbors, we waited anxiously

for the arrival of our Special American Guests. Ms. Chen Ying (CNCC

Coordinator) asked her 15 students to line up side by side in a row with

her in front, Parents immediately behind them, and guests and friends

at the rear.

Nine o’clock sharp, the American contingent arrived – all smiling as

the weather was perfect – even the sun was out, and the sky was

reasonably clear. They saw the Chinese formation and instinctively

had their students line up in a row opposite the Chinese children and

with their parents and teachers right behind.

Ms. Chen Ying was in her late 40’s but she appeared much younger.

In a most cheerful manner, she spoke loudly to welcome the Americans.

“ Welcome our dear American Friends !  This is going to be a Beautiful

Collaboration. We are going to paint a Mural together in this China’s

National Children’s Park.  I am going to match you children the American

Way – one to one on a Blind Date. Ha !   May I just ask you students to

close your eyes and walk straight with your hands stretched out towards

the opposite side. When your hands meet, you have found your partners

for this weekend. You can then open your eyes and introduce yourselves.

Okay ?”

The children did exactly what she directed. The Chinese students’ faces

looked mostly bewildered – few a bit shy and hesitant. The Americans

brave with joy – few boys seemed to have funny jokes inmind. As the

children walked step by step towards each other, I noticed a MIRACULOUS

MOMENT indeed expressed in the Parents’ faces – the Chinese Parents’

as well as the American Parents’. Some held thoughtful smiles, some

pressed their lips intensely, and few had tears flowing down from their

eyes.  This happened on both sides.  I indeed witnessed a MAGIC MOMENT

confirming that truly WE All HAVE AN INNATE WISH TO CONNECT AND

BECOME GOOD FRIENDS.

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NATURAL HUMAN REACTIONS: ( For Billy’s Diplomat-Friends especially )

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Acknowledge me,   My Heart Opens

Lecture me,  I Play Deaf

Shame me,  I Get Angry

You Brag,     I Won’t Comment

Really Worth while,  I will Listen

Not Worth while,  I Reject

If You Apologize,  I cannot not Reconsider 

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Not Pure yourself   Don’t Lecture Others

Have not Delivered yourself   Do not Criticize Others

Too much Talk   People will Lose Trust in you.

Too much Bashing   No one will want to Listen ( It’s simply Annoying )

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( Prof. Grigg taught English Literary History, fine arts, cultural history, and world religion ,with an emhasis on Buddhism, Taoism, and Zen over twenty years. He now resides on Quadra Island, British Columbia, )

Following the TAO in Your Relationships, you can unlock a greater physical, aesthetic, and spirital  understanding of yourself, and your partner, without losing your own individuality. Keep a balanced outlook in every aspect of your life. The Tao of Relationships celebrates the dynamics of body and mind that a man and woman in love can share when they learn the art of the sagely lover.

Give and there is Giving. Receive and there is Receiving. Seek without Expecting. Find without Taking. Receiving is a kind of Giving. Give as if Receiving and Receive as in Giving.

Why is it that at first Softness gives way to Hardness but Hardness finally gives way to Softness? Call it the TAO.

Practice Humility and do not try to get ahead of each other. A Winner requires a Loser. Retribution provokes Reprisal. What a foolish circle to be trapped within !

Rather than man taking woman or woman taking man, it is better when they are taken by each other.  

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Billy’s Comment: COLLABORATE – THE TAO WAY !

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Explain the Power of Compassion. How does it work in Thoughts / Deeds ?  Can it be abused or misunderstood ?  Billy asked.

ChatGPT::

The power of compassion is a profound and transformative force that exists within human beings. It is the ability to feel empathy, show kindness, and take action to alleviate the suffering of others. Compassion is a fundamental aspect of our humanity, and it has the potential to bring about positive change on both an individual and societal level.

Compassion works by fostering connections and understanding between individuals. When we feel compassion, we recognize the shared human experience and the universal desire for happiness and freedom from suffering. It allows us to see beyond differences and to treat others with kindness, respect, and empathy. Compassion motivates us to take action and make a positive difference in the lives of others, whether it be through acts of kindness, volunteering, or advocating for social justice.

The power of compassion is a force that can benefit everyone involved. When we extend compassion to others, we not only help alleviate their suffering but also experience personal growth and fulfillment. Compassion has the potential to create a ripple effect, inspiring others to act with kindness and empathy, creating a more compassionate and inclusive society.

However, like any power, compassion can be abused or misunderstood. It is important to distinguish genuine compassion from manipulation or enabling behavior. Sometimes, individuals may feign compassion to gain personal advantage or control over others. This can lead to exploitation and harm.

Compassion can also be misunderstood when it is indiscriminately applied without considering the boundaries of personal well-being. Compassion should not come at the expense of one’s own mental, emotional, or physical health. It is crucial to maintain a balance between caring for others and caring for oneself.

Additionally, there can be cultural, societal, or systemic barriers that hinder the full expression and impact of compassion. Prejudices, biases, and social inequalities can limit the reach of compassion and perpetuate suffering and injustice. Recognizing and addressing these barriers is necessary to harness the true power of compassion.

In summary, the power of compassion lies in its ability to connect individuals, alleviate suffering, and inspire positive change. It can benefit both the giver and the recipient, promoting understanding, empathy, and personal growth. However, it is essential to be aware of potential abuses and misunderstandings of compassion and to address the systemic factors that can hinder its full potential.

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Power of Compassion. How best to Capture, Build, Teach, and Promote globally.  Billy Asked.

ChatGPT:

Capturing, building, teaching, and promoting the power of compassion globally is a multi-faceted endeavor that requires a comprehensive approach. Here are some key strategies to consider:

Education and Awareness:

• Incorporate compassion and empathy education in school curricula from an early age, emphasizing their importance in personal and societal well-being. Develop educational materials, workshops, and programs that highlight the benefits and practical applications of compassion in daily life.
  • Organize awareness campaigns, conferences, and events to promote the power of compassion and its impact on individuals and communities.

• Leading by Example:

• Promote compassion and empathy through influential figures in various fields, such as leaders, celebrities, and role models, who actively demonstrate and advocate for compassionate behavior.
• Encourage organizations and businesses to adopt compassionate practices, such as ethical decision-making, fair treatment of employees, and social responsibility initiatives.
  • Showcase stories and examples of individuals and communities who have experienced positive transformations through compassion, inspiring others to follow suit.

• Integration in Media and Arts:

• Encourage the inclusion of compassionate themes in books, movies, television shows, and other forms of media to raise awareness and inspire a global audience.
  • Support and promote artists, musicians, and writers who use their platforms to convey messages of compassion, empathy, and unity.

• Global Collaborations and Partnerships:

• Foster collaborations among governments, NGOs, educational institutions, and corporations to collectively promote the power of compassion.
  • Establish partnerships with international organizations and platforms to amplify the message of compassion globally and create a united front in advocating for compassionate values.

• Technology and Digital Platforms:

• Leverage digital platforms and social media to disseminate information, share stories, and foster virtual communities centered around compassion.
  • Develop interactive and engaging mobile applications or online platforms that provide resources, tools, and support for individuals seeking to cultivate compassion in their lives.

• Research and Scientific Validation:

• Encourage scientific research on the effects of compassion on mental health, well-being, and social dynamics to provide evidence-based support for the promotion of compassion.
  • Collaborate with universities, research institutions, and experts in the field to conduct studies and share findings that highlight the benefits and significance of compassion.

• Grassroots Movements and Community Engagement:

• Encourage and empower local communities to initiate grassroots movements and projects centered around compassion, addressing specific social issues and fostering empathy within their immediate surroundings.
  • Facilitate workshops, support groups, and community-based initiatives that provide practical tools and resources for individuals to develop and practice compassion in their daily lives.

By implementing these strategies in a coordinated and sustained manner, it is possible to capture, build, teach, and promote the power of compassion globally, creating a more empathetic and compassionate world.

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Examples of cultural, societal, or systemic barriers that can hinder the full expression and impact of compassion.  Billy Requested

ChatGPT:

Compassion is a deeply human quality that allows individuals to empathize with and feel concern for the suffering of others. However, there are various cultural, societal, and systemic barriers that can hinder the full expression and impact of compassion. Here are some examples:

1. Cultural Norms: Cultural norms and values can shape the way compassion is expressed or perceived. In some cultures, stoicism or emotional restraint may be valued more than emotional vulnerability, making it challenging for individuals to openly express their compassion without fear of judgment or social repercussions.
2. Social Hierarchies: Societal hierarchies based on factors like social class, race, gender, or caste can create divisions and inhibit compassion. People may be less likely to extend compassion to those perceived as “other” or belonging to a different social group, leading to biases and discrimination.
3. Lack of Awareness: A lack of awareness or understanding of others’ suffering can hinder the expression of compassion. If individuals are shielded from or disconnected from the realities of marginalized communities or those facing adversity, it can be difficult for them to recognize the need for compassion and take action.
4. Emotional Exhaustion: Constant exposure to suffering or empathetic engagement with others’ pain can lead to emotional exhaustion or burnout. This can be particularly true for professionals in caregiving roles, such as healthcare workers or social workers, who may struggle to sustain their compassion over time due to the demanding nature of their work.
5. Systemic Injustices: Structural inequalities and systemic injustices, such as poverty, discrimination, or lack of access to resources, can undermine compassion. When individuals face significant challenges and struggle to meet their own basic needs, they may have limited capacity to extend compassion to others.
6. Fear and Self-Preservation: Fear, self-preservation, and self-interest can inhibit compassion. People may worry about the potential risks or consequences of extending help, particularly in situations where they perceive a threat to their own well-being, resources, or status.
7. Lack of Empathy Education: Education systems and societal institutions may not prioritize empathy and compassion as essential skills. The absence of comprehensive education and training on empathy can contribute to a society where compassion is undervalued or not effectively practiced.
8. Media Influence: Media portrayal and sensationalism can desensitize individuals to suffering or reinforce stereotypes, making it harder for compassion to flourish. Negative or biased media narratives can perpetuate divisions and reduce collective empathy ._________________________________________________________________

With wandering thoughts, Billy clicked on ChatGPT to explore ideas. So far he has found ChatGPT very helpful, indeed. The below are the Questions he posed:

Can Yin & Yang , Extreme Opposites Co-Exist – How ?   

What Turns People Bad? What Turns Them Around ?

Stories On Misguided Persons Turn Good and How.

Stories On How Certain Catalysts Help Transform People.

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ChatGPT’s Replies below:

Can Yin & Yang, Extreme Opposites, Basic Ideologic Differences Co-Exist?  How can we? – Billy Asked

ChatGPT

Yes, Yin and Yang, representing extreme opposites and fundamental ideological differences, can indeed coexist. The concept of Yin and Yang originates from Chinese philosophy and represents the dynamic interplay and balance between opposing forces. It suggests that opposing elements are not mutually exclusive but are interconnected and necessary for the existence of one another.

To foster coexistence and balance between extreme opposites or ideological differences, here are a few suggestions:

1. Acknowledge the interdependence: Recognize that extreme opposites or ideological differences are not isolated entities but are part of a larger system. Just as Yin and Yang complement each other, understanding the interdependence between opposing ideas can lead to a more harmonious coexistence.
2. Seek common ground: Despite differences, there may be areas of common interest or shared values. Identifying and focusing on these commonalities can create a basis for mutual understanding and collaboration. It allows for constructive dialogue and finding solutions that accommodate diverse perspectives.
3. Practice empathy and active listening: Empathy plays a crucial role in understanding others’ viewpoints, even if they differ significantly from your own. Practice active listening by genuinely seeking to understand the underlying reasons and emotions behind opposing ideas. This can foster empathy and open the door for productive conversations.
4. Embrace diversity: Recognize the value of diversity and the richness it brings to society. Embracing diverse perspectives can lead to innovative solutions and a more comprehensive understanding of complex issues. Encourage inclusivity, respect, and tolerance for different viewpoints.
5. Constructive dialogue and compromise: Engage in constructive dialogue where ideas are exchanged, and thoughtful arguments are presented. Create an environment where compromise is seen as a strength rather than a weakness. Finding middle ground or alternative solutions that incorporate elements from both extremes can foster coexistence and balance.
6. Focus on shared goals: Identify common objectives that can unite individuals or groups with opposing ideologies. By directing attention to shared goals, the focus shifts from differences to collective aspirations. This shared purpose can facilitate cooperation and coexistence.
7. Education and awareness: Promote education and awareness about different perspectives and ideologies. Encourage critical thinking, dialogue, and understanding within educational institutions, communities, and society at large. This helps break down stereotypes and fosters an atmosphere of acceptance and mutual respect.

Remember that coexistence does not necessarily imply agreement or the elimination of differences. It means creating an environment where diverse ideas can peacefully coexist, enriching society with their unique contributions.

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What Turns People Bad – Lust. Greed. Power, Anger, Jealousy, etc. etc. ?  What turns some Around ?

ChatGPT

There are numerous factors that can contribute to individuals exhibiting negative behaviors or becoming “bad.” While it is important to note that human behavior is complex and multifaceted, several common factors are often associated with the development of negative traits or actions.  Here are a few examples:

1. Personal experiences: Traumatic experiences, abuse, neglect, or significant emotional events can shape a person’s behavior. These experiences can sometimes lead individuals to adopt negative coping mechanisms or develop a negative worldview.
2. Environmental influences: Surrounding environments, such as a dysfunctional family, negative peer groups, or exposure to violence and crime, can have a profound impact on a person’s behavior. Growing up in an unhealthy or toxic environment can contribute to the development of negative traits.
3. Psychological factors: Certain psychological conditions, such as antisocial personality disorder, narcissism, or psychopathy, may be associated with a higher likelihood of engaging in harmful or manipulative behavior. These disorders can affect an individual’s ability to empathize with others and regulate their own emotions.
4. Societal influences: Cultural, social, and economic factors can also play a role in shaping behavior. Factors such as income inequality, discrimination, or societal norms that promote aggression or exploitation can contribute to negative behaviors in some individuals.
5. Personal values and beliefs: Sometimes, a person’s personal values and beliefs can lead them to engage in negative actions. For example, someone driven by extreme ideologies or a skewed moral compass may justify harmful behaviors based on their beliefs.

It is important to remember that not everyone who experiences these factors will necessarily turn “bad.” Human behavior is influenced by a complex interplay of various factors, including individual choices and personal agency. Furthermore, individuals have the capacity for change and growth, and many can overcome negative influences or traits through self-reflection, therapy, and personal development.

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Stories On Misguided Persons Turned Good.  How And What Helped ? 

ChatGPT

There are numerous stories in literature, mythology, and real life that depict evil individuals who undergo a transformation and ultimately embrace goodness. While the specific circumstances and factors that lead to their change may vary, here are a few examples:

1. Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars): Anakin Skywalker starts as a promising Jedi Knight but is eventually consumed by the dark side of the Force and becomes Darth Vader, a Sith Lord. However, when confronted by his son, Luke Skywalker, and witnessing the Emperor’s cruelty, Anakin rediscovers his love for his son and sacrifices himself to save him. His love and the realization of the consequences of his actions help him find redemption.
2. Severus Snape (Harry Potter series): Initially portrayed as a cold and malicious character, Severus Snape’s true intentions are gradually revealed throughout the Harry Potter series. It is ultimately disclosed that Snape had been working as a double agent to protect Harry Potter and thwart Voldemort’s plans. His love for Harry’s mother, Lily, fuels his change and his actions ultimately contribute to the defeat of Voldemort.
3. Jean Valjean (Les Misérables): In Victor Hugo’s novel, Jean Valjean starts as a hardened criminal who served a lengthy prison sentence for stealing a loaf of bread. After being shown kindness by a bishop, Valjean is profoundly moved and decides to turn his life around. He adopts a new identity and dedicates himself to acts of compassion and charity, becoming a force for good in the lives of others.
4. The Grinch (How the Grinch Stole Christmas): Dr. Seuss’ tale depicts the Grinch as a bitter and spiteful creature who despises Christmas. However, upon witnessing the joy and love of the WHO’s in Whoville, the Grinch experiences a change of heart. He realizes the true meaning of Christmas and transforms from a malicious character to one filled with kindness and generosity.
5. Real-life examples: There have been instances where individuals involved in criminal activities or extremist ideologies have undergone personal transformations and turned away from their past actions. Factors that contribute to these changes can include personal reflection, encounters with empathetic individuals, education, therapy, spiritual or religious experiences, and finding a sense of purpose or belonging in a positive community.

These stories highlight that even the most seemingly irredeemable individuals can undergo a change of heart and choose a path of goodness and redemption. The catalysts for their transformation often involve experiences that evoke empathy, self-reflection, love, or exposure to alternative perspectives that challenge their previous beliefs and actions.

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Stories on “How” certain catalysts help transform people from thinking and doing Evil to Good. 

ChatGPT

Once upon a time, in a small village nestled amidst lush green fields, there lived a young man named Ethan. Ethan was known throughout the village for his mischievous nature and cunning behavior. He would often manipulate others, causing conflicts and strife in the community. People feared and mistrusted him, as his actions seemed to serve only his selfish interests.

One sunny day, as Ethan wandered through the village, he stumbled upon an old bookstore tucked away in a quiet corner. Curiosity sparked within him, and he stepped inside, unaware of the transformative journey that awaited him.

Inside the bookstore, Ethan discovered a dusty old book with an intriguing title: “The Power of Compassion.” As he began to read, the words on the pages seemed to pierce through his callous exterior, touching the depths of his soul. The book recounted stories of individuals who had transformed their lives from darkness to light through the power of compassion and empathy.

Intrigued by these stories, Ethan decided to embark on a quest to understand and embrace compassion. He reached out to the village elders, seeking their guidance on how to change his ways. The elders, initially skeptical of his intentions, recognized his genuine desire for transformation and agreed to mentor him.

Under the guidance of the elders, Ethan started engaging in acts of kindness and selflessness. He spent time with the less fortunate, helping them in any way he could. He listened to their stories, shared their sorrows, and rejoiced in their triumphs. Through these experiences, Ethan began to understand the pain and suffering he had caused others and the power of compassion to heal.     The villagers  began to forgive him, realizing that everyone has the capacity for change.

News of Ethan’s transformation spread throughout the region, inspiring others to examine their own lives and consider the power of compassion. The villagers, once divided and suspicious, came together, recognizing the strength in unity and understanding.

Ethan’s journey from evil to good became a legend that was passed down through generations. His story served as a catalyst for change, reminding people that even the most seemingly irredeemable individuals have the potential for transformation when touched by the power of compassion.

And so, the village that was once marked by strife and fear became a testament to the profound impact that compassion can have on transforming the minds and actions of those who were once trapped in darkness.

CONCLUSION:  Billy Learned : PROMOTE FRIENDSHIP – TAP THE POWER OF COMPASSION – IN THOUGHTS AND IN DEEDS.

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Chinese Tea Culture

Tea is considered special if served on hills with mist or cool breezes and in the moonlight. “The Chinese emphasize the harmony between humans and nature.

Chinese teacups are small because this allows for a better focus on taste and overall appreciation of the tea.

Chinese Golden Dragon Gongfu Tea Set with Black Stone Tea Tray for you to make your tea perfectly in Gongfu tea ceremony, known for its beauty and artistry.  You will begin to enjoy every nuance of taste and aroma from your tea. Using this gongfu tea set with tea tray, you will find yourself in extremely tranquil artistic mood while sipping a cup of excellent tea. Meaningful Conversations Follow.

GETTING TO KNOW CHINESE TEAWARE – Keats Blog

1 THE LIDDED TEA BOWL (盖碗/găiwăn) & FAIRNESS PITCHER (公道杯/gōngdaò bēi) · 2 PURPLE SAND TEAPOT (紫砂茶壶/zĭshà cháhú) · 3 TEA TRAY (茶盘/chápán) · 4 SCENT CUP …

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Japanese Tea Culture

Japanese tea culture, or “chado” (also known as “sado” or “chanoyu”), is a tradition of preparing and serving tea that has been practiced in Japan for over 800 years. The practice of chado emphasizes the principles of harmony, respect, purity, and tranquility, and it is seen as a form of art and a way of cultivating mindfulness and spiritual awareness.

The ceremony is often conducted in a special tea room called a “chashitsu,” which is designed to create a sense of harmony and tranquility.

ANCIENT JAPANESE TEA HOUSE SET IN AN ORNATE ZEN GARDEN  – Encouraging EMPATHY, COMPASSION, & CONNECTING

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Dear Prof. An,

Please correct the words for me as needed.

My 6th grade Chinese is still pretty remarkable however,

don’t you think ? Too Bad: that’s best I have, and

that’s what I write apologetically. Cheers !

From the Heart.

Billy – Lee Ming Sing

李会长：您好！

您已经写得很棒！很了不起！ 根据您的要求，提点修改建议。

中文骈句的规则，一是对仗，二是平仄，三是押韵。三者都具备，念起来就会朗朗上口，容易记诵。 修改如下：

人生一世

春暖秋寒

追善少恶

追恶少善

宽仁慈爱

美满百年

这样修改，基本符合上面说的对仗、平仄、押韵三个条件。大意如下：

人的一生很短，

就像植物春天生长秋天凋零一样，很快就会结束。

追求善良的人少恶习，

追求恶行的人少良知。

只有那些宽厚、仁义、慈悲、友爱的善良之人，

才能百年美满，无悔人生。

供您参考

安蓉泉于杭州

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