I truly believe that all people have INNATE GOODNESS and WEAKNESSES.

I prefer to focus on cultivating and promoting our INNATE GOODNESS like

COMPASSION – CARING FOR AND HELPING EACH OTHER and NOT TO

HURT OR HARM ONE ANOTHER. 

 That should be my simple GOAL & PURPOSE.

EMPATHY is the skill we all need to learn to really understand each other’s emotions, aspirations, and feelings and learn how best to help each other wisely, effectively, and realistically.   

That should be my consistent PRACTICE.

FRIENDSHIP to me is OUR REWARD. It has been proven by many social surveys that FRIENDSHIPS & RELATIONSHIPS HAVE DEFINED OUR MEANING IN LIFE and brought TRUE HAPPINESS. FREINDSHIP, btw, can be deepened if we PURSUE GLOBAL COMPASSION TOGETHER. Yeh ! I have recently joined Dr. Rick Hanson’s GCC ( Global Compassion Coalition).

This commitment brings me a very PURE and WONDERFUL FEELING.

Billy – William Ming Sing Lee

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CHINESE TRANSLATION of the above by Prof. An (CHINA)

比利对同情、共情和友谊的思考

我真诚地相信，所有的人都有与生俱来的善良和弱点。

我更愿专注于培养和提升我们与生俱来仁慈和善良——关心和帮助他人，而非彼此伤害或损毁对方，这应该是我的生活目标和人生意义。

共情，是一种我们都需要学习的技能，它能让我们真正感受彼此的情绪、心愿和感觉，并学习怎样达到明智、有效和切实帮助彼此的最佳状态。这应该就是我的工作。

友谊对我来说，是人类的奖赏。许多社会调查证明，友谊和社交关系，定义了我们生活的意义，并带来了真正的幸福。如果我们共同追求全球的共情，友谊一定能够不断加深地久天长。正因此，我最近加入了Dr. Rick Hanson 里克·汉森  博士的 GCC（全球共情联盟）。

加入联盟这一选择，带给我一种纯粹和美妙的感觉。

比利·威廉  李名信

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A pleasant surprise when we attended a concert held in ISU in Pocatello. Since we started staying here for a few months each year to taste a difference from California, we indeed noticed that this small town appears quite isolated.  People are extremely friendly here, but we hardly meet any Asians other than the staff in Asian restaurants. 

Then we attended this choral festival event: CULTURE- TRADITIONS- FREINDSHIP- MUSIC – IDAHO INTERNATIONAL CHORAL FESTIVAL.

Touched by the lyrics of the theme song; further moved by the singing together by all choirs participating ( from Costa Rica, Idaho USA high schools, boys from Poland, Chinese women from Bay Area California, Tiantai Buddhism from China, youths from Catalonia ) at the end. 

I can’t describe the emotion I felt hearing them, especially when they sang ‘He is watching over us’ together.  They have different religions and basis of their hope; yet they were standing on the same stage sharing their passion. 

Indeed we shall not lose our hope. We shall continue to connect and pollinate.  

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Stephen Lee shared the above with Billy and added:
What do you think? How do you feel about this In the context of Friendshipology ?

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ChatGPT Replied:

Compassion, empathy, and friendship are interconnected concepts that are deeply rooted in human emotions and social interactions. While they may not have a direct chemical relationship, they share common psychological and emotional foundations that contribute to the depth and strength of human relationships. Let’s explore how these concepts relate to each other:

1. Empathy and Compassion: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It involves putting oneself in someone else’s shoes and experiencing their emotions. Compassion, on the other hand, goes beyond empathy. It is the genuine concern for the well-being of others, often leading to a desire to help or alleviate their suffering.

Empathy and compassion have been associated with the brain’s mirror neuron system and areas involved in emotional processing. When we empathize with someone, our brain activity can mirror their emotional states. Moreover, acts of compassion have been found to activate reward centers in the brain, which reinforces prosocial behavior.

2. Friendship and Social Bonds: Friendship is a close and affectionate relationship between two or more people. It is characterized by mutual trust, support, and understanding. Social bonds, including friendships, are essential for human survival and well-being. These connections are believed to have evolutionary origins and play a role in promoting cooperation and group cohesion. 

The chemistry of friendship and social bonds is more complex and multifaceted. Hormones like oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone” or “bonding hormone,” are thought to play a role in the formation and maintenance of social connections. Oxytocin is released during positive social interactions, including hugging, touching, and trusting interactions, fostering feelings of attachment and bonding.

3. Overlapping Aspects: Compassion and empathy are essential components of meaningful friendships. True friends are often compassionate and empathetic toward one another’s joys and struggles. Empathy allows friends to understand each other’s perspectives, while compassion enables them to provide emotional support during difficult times.

While there may not be a single “chemical” that encompasses compassion, empathy, and friendship, these concepts are closely related and have a profound impact on our social lives and well-being. The brain’s complex neurochemistry and the release of various hormones during social interactions contribute to the emotional bonds and connections we form with others, making empathy, compassion, and friendship significant aspects of our lives.

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BILLY’s Thoughts :

I truly believe that all people have INNATE GOODNESS and WEAKNESSES. I prefer to focus on cultivating and promoting our INNATE GOODNESS like COMPASSION – CARING FOR AND HELPING EACH OTHERS and NOT TO HURT OR HARM EACH OTHER. That should be my GOAL & PURPOSE.

EMPATHY is the skill we all need to learn to really understand each other’s emotions and feelings and learn how best to help each other wisely, effectively, and realistically. That should be my PRACTICE.

FRIENDSHIP to me is OUR REWARD. It has been proven by many social surveys that FRIENDSHIPS & RELATIONSHIPS HAVE DEFINED OUR MEANING IN LIFE and brought TRUE HAPPINESS. FREINDSHIP, btw, can be deepened if we PURSUE GLOBAL COMPASSION TOGETHER. Yeh ! I have recently joined Dr. Rick Hanson’s GCC ( Global Compassion Coalition).

Billy :  Much about Humanity and Powers Control, what about Meaning of Life for us personally ?  Can we learn more from James’ “CHASING DAVIS” ?

James:  According to Chasing Davis ( a book James published some years ago ) Life has no intrinsic or universal meaning. However, Life does allow us the opportunity to create an individual meaning for our respective lives. 

Stephen:  Very much my conclusion as well, James. We can create individually because of what? Our individual ability to set a goal using our freedom plus reasoning ability to make a choice among alternatives. And then to execute our individual choice of future actions.

I believe that a purpose can be created out of nothingness. It may be an evolution and not necessarily be objective universally. It’s sufficient to be subjective.

James:  Our answers seem to work for us.  That is enough. 

Billy:  Individual Goals, Ideas, and Choices are fine for the Individual by him or herself.

What indeed happens when they ultimately meet others bilaterally or collectively ?

. 

Stephen:  Your persistent question to go beyond an individual’s subjective values, happiness and “purposes or no purpose” illustrates the unsatisfying hypothesis to many people that life and existence have no purpose.

    
Perhaps it is an egoistic urge arising from our brains to enable oneself to be elevated to a higher rank than others so as to feel good about ourselves. In other words, it may be a subjective illusion. But on the other hand, it is just as possible to explain it as an attractive force from somewhere in the Universe which motivates our brain (or our subjective self) towards a purpose or a level of “evolution” to create a more complex and beautiful Universe.

This is attractive to me because it explains the Universe as a growing and evolving existence which can be also objectively measured scientifically by humans and aliens alike and compared over time to go through cycles and stages of progress and reversals, complexification and destruction, spiraling into the future.

If today’s “establishments in science” also evolves and grow, humanity and the Universe will grow also.

James:  Purpose is defined by the individual.  Metaphor:  The universe is an immense, craggy, rocky mountain. On its surface there are random, small pockets of life. This life serves no purpose for the mountain. Thus, these scattered life forms must create their own purpose if they so choose.

 When individuals interact:  Metaphor:  individual subatomic particles are quantum…each spinning and not spinning at the same time…hard to understand and analyze.  Yet when they form atoms and atoms form a brick…easy to see and investigate.  Yet what about water?  Not so stable, constantly changing, interacting, evaporating, freezing, hard to pin down. But the forces that keep both the brick and the water together are the same…gravity and chemical bonds.  Think of these two universal forces metaphorically as what we conceptualize as hard science and elusive spirituality.  When gravity and chemical bonds are functioning properly, the atoms stick together to form a cohesive whole. When outside forces intervene, they splinter back into subatomic particles.

Stephen: Though “Purpose” is fundamentally exhibited on an individual human basis (like an individual atom of a unique kind), individual humans with similar “Purpose” attract one another to form collective molecules using a different or perhaps weaker chemical bond. Is that why we use the term “chemistry” to describe friendship?

Billy:  I like to quote you guys in a brief article in <https://friendshipology.net>, if I may. If Friendship depends on Chemistry, let’s study more about what Chemistry..

Cheers !

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Billy Lee – June 2023

Many dear friends contributed articles to https://friendshipology.net. From our correspondences, I learned much more about my special friendship with each of them. Spontaneously I made up my own heart-felt words to describe these friends: “Always Encouraging” are those who never failed to write a few words to keep my spirit up. “Friends Through Friendshipology” are those who met through the website and discovered delightful inspirations for one another. Several friends were just kind to me. In order to keep me involved in their deep discussion, they indeed “Walked With Me – My Pace.” Several Friends inspired me with their newly published books and programs which indeed will benefit the World. I called them “ My Esteemed Friends of The World ”. There is a close group of classmates from Phillips Andover. We are not ordinary social friends. We connect via the Non Sibi Spirit taught at Andover. This morning, I discovered another special Friend. I like to call him “ My Fellow Connector and Pollinator”.

Billy’s Yale ’55 Classmate, Charlie Goodyear (From 50^th Class Reunion Book )

Billy Wrote to Charlie and a few others on Jun. 16, 2023 

My Good Friends,

You know I am a bit naive, but you also know that

sometimes I hit on some truly important ideas.

The attached article involves Promoting Compassion.

Empathy. and Friendship. 

Can you help me fan the Spirit of CEF ?

Please share your good ideas and advice.

Thanks with warm affection always,

Billy – Ming Sing 

<https://friendshipology.net>

PS: How about giving a new name to the THREE PEAKS in Yosemite National Park from “TheThree Brothers” to “ Monument of Three Virtues: COMPASSION, EMPATHY, and FRIENDSHIP ?”

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Charlie Replied three days later:

Billy !! I sent your wonderful message to several of my friends ! Here is one of their responses. !! Best wishes ! Charlie

From: Eugene Cheston <gene.cheston@gmail.com>

Billy is on the right track and, BTW so are the Goodyears. Caring about others or words that have a similar meaning is what the great thinkers over the ages espoused as being the path to happiness. Said simply, making OTHER PEOPLE happy is the path to achieving our own happiness. Serving self is a ubiquitous reality, however in spite of what some may think, serving self is a path in the wrong direction-no question about. The more I learn about life, the more I seem to be able to navigate through complexity and onto fundamental truths-often expressed in those aphorisms I like so much.

Real treasure is not made of gold nor of substances that glitter; real treasure is created in the crucible of human relationships-Cheston

Compassion is always, at its most authentic, about a shift from self-preoccupation into a more expansive place of fellowship-author unknown

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile-Einstein

Our love, Elsie and Gene

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Dear CHARLIE, Elsie and Gene,

Thank you for being Fellow Connectors and Pollinators in CULTIVATING OUR INNATE GOODNESS & SPREADING THE SPIRIT OF COMPASSION, EMPATHY, & FRIENDSHIP.

Sincerely,

Billy

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Billy Lee – May 2023

An article by Greater Good Science Ct. today asked us to retrace a

Most Meaningful Experience in Life.  Somehow, I started thinking

about an Amazing Magic Moment which occurred almost twenty

years ago.

In was Spring 2004, I had arranged for a group of 8^th grade students

from Hillsdale Middle School in Menlo Park, Ca. to visit and paint a

mural together with a selected group of Chinese students at (CNCC)

China’s National Children’sCenter in Beijing.

Everything was properly arranged that Saturday morning.  I arrived

at CNCC early, and together with the Host Coordinators, 15 Chinese

students, their Parents, Friends, and Neighbors, we waited anxiously

for the arrival of our Special American Guests. Ms. Chen Ying (CNCC

Coordinator) asked her 15 students to line up side by side in a row with

her in front, Parents immediately behind them, and guests and friends

at the rear.

Nine o’clock sharp, the American contingent arrived – all smiling as

the weather was perfect – even the sun was out, and the sky was

reasonably clear. They saw the Chinese formation and instinctively

had their students line up in a row opposite the Chinese children and

with their parents and teachers right behind.

Ms. Chen Ying was in her late 40’s but she appeared much younger.

In a most cheerful manner, she spoke loudly to welcome the Americans.

“ Welcome our dear American Friends !  This is going to be a Beautiful

Collaboration. We are going to paint a Mural together in this China’s

National Children’s Park.  I am going to match you children the American

Way – one to one on a Blind Date. Ha !   May I just ask you students to

close your eyes and walk straight with your hands stretched out towards

the opposite side. When your hands meet, you have found your partners

for this weekend. You can then open your eyes and introduce yourselves.

Okay ?”

The children did exactly what she directed. The Chinese students’ faces

looked mostly bewildered – few a bit shy and hesitant. The Americans

brave with joy – few boys seemed to have funny jokes inmind. As the

children walked step by step towards each other, I noticed a MIRACULOUS

MOMENT indeed expressed in the Parents’ faces – the Chinese Parents’

as well as the American Parents’. Some held thoughtful smiles, some

pressed their lips intensely, and few had tears flowing down from their

eyes.  This happened on both sides.  I indeed witnessed a MAGIC MOMENT

confirming that truly WE All HAVE AN INNATE WISH TO CONNECT AND

BECOME GOOD FRIENDS.

_______________________________________________________________

NATURAL HUMAN REACTIONS: ( For Billy’s Diplomat-Friends especially )

__________________________________________________

Acknowledge me,   My Heart Opens

Lecture me,  I Play Deaf

Shame me,  I Get Angry

You Brag,     I Won’t Comment

Really Worth while,  I will Listen

Not Worth while,  I Reject

If You Apologize,  I cannot not Reconsider 

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Not Pure yourself   Don’t Lecture Others

Have not Delivered yourself   Do not Criticize Others

Too much Talk   People will Lose Trust in you.

Too much Bashing   No one will want to Listen ( It’s simply Annoying )

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( Prof. Grigg taught English Literary History, fine arts, cultural history, and world religion ,with an emhasis on Buddhism, Taoism, and Zen over twenty years. He now resides on Quadra Island, British Columbia, )

Following the TAO in Your Relationships, you can unlock a greater physical, aesthetic, and spirital  understanding of yourself, and your partner, without losing your own individuality. Keep a balanced outlook in every aspect of your life. The Tao of Relationships celebrates the dynamics of body and mind that a man and woman in love can share when they learn the art of the sagely lover.

Give and there is Giving. Receive and there is Receiving. Seek without Expecting. Find without Taking. Receiving is a kind of Giving. Give as if Receiving and Receive as in Giving.

Why is it that at first Softness gives way to Hardness but Hardness finally gives way to Softness? Call it the TAO.

Practice Humility and do not try to get ahead of each other. A Winner requires a Loser. Retribution provokes Reprisal. What a foolish circle to be trapped within !

Rather than man taking woman or woman taking man, it is better when they are taken by each other.  

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Billy’s Comment: COLLABORATE – THE TAO WAY !

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