As an Architect, I learned from I.M.Pei that Design Concept provides theUnderlying Spirit, but as Mies said “ God (or Beauty) is in the Details ( HOW it is actually constructed or articulated ). An article In N.Y.Times’, Smarter Living section by Anna Goldfarb, wrote about “How to Reach Out to A Friend Who Is Having a Difficult Time”. With advice from esteemed psychologists and psychiatrists, she wrote about HOW to choose the right time and moment to capture the best effects, HOW to cultivate the right atmosphere and mind-set so that the Friend will feel comfortable opening up, and what words and tunes to employ to achieve some success.
GOLDFARB OFFERED THE FOLLOWING STEPS :
Notice the Friend’s Signs and Degree of Distress – Health, Workplace stress
or Financial, etc.
Tread Carefully – depending on your relationship – assure confidentiality
Check your own state of mind – fit to help others ?
Pinpoint Concerns without Imposing.
Share Struggles – comforting
Do not Judge – Proper questions that will open up conversation .
Examples: “ Any especially difficult things bothering you lately ?”
Be Empathetic – Validate your friend. The most helpful thing that you
can do for each other is knowing that you are sharing the burden
together.
Suggest Support – For complex problems recommend reaching out for
professional help, or religious consoling as appropriate.
Last but not least , Follow Up – Continued support and continued Caring.
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